She wondered what he did in New York. She wondered where he was going tonight. He sure didn’t want to take her with him. She didn’t care. She didn’t want to go with him. But she knew why. As soon as any of their wife’s friends are around they get rid of Lila.
Anyway, it didn’t matter.
What was it she wanted to do? It was something but she didn’t know what.
There wasn’t anything she wanted to do. That was the trouble. She didn’t want to have anything more to do with people. She was tired of people. She just wanted to go off somewhere and be by herself and all alone.
The waitress came again. Lila ordered another drink. That wasn’t good. Not on an empty stomach. Her stomach still hurt. She should have taken some Empirin earlier.
Lila reached into her purse to get her Empirin. She couldn’t find them. That was funny. She knew they were right there. Her other pills weren’t there either! She felt around with her hand to find the round plastic bottle. She could always find it by its shape. It wasn’t there.
She poked harder and harder through the lipstick and mirror and cigarettes and Kleenexes.
She didn’t leave them in the boat because she took three this morning. She brought the purse up and looked inside. Then she looked in the other pocket of the purse. But they weren’t there.
Then Lila suddenly knew that the billfold wasn’t inside the purse either. She looked up and felt frightened. Outside the window the street had become darker.
She reached all through everything all over again, all her pockets, everywhere in her purse… but it was gone. It was really gone.
That was all the money she had!
Some other customers were coming in. They looked cold. Lila didn’t see the little old lady waitress. It looked like another waiter had come on duty in her place. He had a bow tie. She didn’t like his looks.
She still couldn’t believe it. How could she lose it? All her money was in there. It couldn’t possibly have dropped out. She had it this morning. She bought the shirts with it. She remembered because she put the receipt in the billfold in case she had to take them back. Now that was gone too.
The new waiter was looking over at her.
She remembered that friend of Jamie’s. He sat next to her. The purse was between them.
It had to be him. She knew there was something wrong about him the way he looked at her. Wait till she told Jamie.
Lila looked down at her glass. It was empty.
She didn’t have Jamie’s new number. He didn’t give it to her. What was she going to do now? She couldn’t even order dinner. She had to stop and think. She couldn’t even think straight. Is that why Jamie didn’t give her his number? So there was no way she could tell him?
So he could set her up?
The waiter came over.
I’m not ready yet, Lila told him.
He gave her a nothing look and went away.
Jamie wouldn’t have done that. When Jamie wanted money he just said so. He didn’t have to steal from her.
It was so hard to think. She wished she hadn’t had these drinks. There was a coin purse inside. He didn’t take that. She took it out and counted it. Two quarters, four nickels, and seven pennies.
She didn’t even have enough to even pay for the drinks. There was going to be trouble.
She felt sick. She had to go to the toilet.
When she went past the waiter he looked like he already knew she wasn’t going to pay.
The toilet stunk. She tried to wash but there wasn’t any soap. This was a god-damn dump, this place. Her face was dirty too, but there was nowhere to wash. This dirty city. She saw in the mirror that her hair was dirty too. She needed to wash.
If she used the coins to call some friends they could come and help. But it was four years now. Nobody stayed still for four years in New York.
When she got to the phone, on the first coin, she tried Laurie’s number. The phone rang and rang. While it was ringing she realized that if she wanted to she could go out the door right from where this phone was and they wouldn’t be able to stop her.
The waiter was watching her. He’d stop her. He looked mean. He looked like he’d been around.
Laurie’s phone didn’t answer. That was all right. That meant she got the coin back. But then it answered and the voice asked who was calling. She said, Lila Blewitt. The woman went away and Lila waited. Thank God Laurie was still here.
But then the voice came back and said, You must have the wrong number, and hung up.
What did that mean?
She tried two other numbers and got her coin back. She was going to call another address but she realized she really didn’t know her. She wouldn’t help even if she remembered her. The waiter was still watching.
Lila thought about him for a while. What could he do? She might as well get it over with.
She braced herself and went over and told him. Somebody stole my money. I can’t pay.
He just looked at her. He didn’t say anything.
She wondered if he heard what she said.
Then he said, What were you puttin in the telephone?'
That was coins, Lila said. They took my billfold.
He just stared at her some more. She could see he didn’t believe her.
After a while he said, They took your billfold.
Yes, she said.
He stared some more.
Then he said, I just work here. The manager isn’t here.
He turned and went out to the kitchen.
When he came back he said, They said to leave your name and address.
I don’t have an address, she said. He stared some more.
You don’t have an address, he repeated.
That’s what I said.' She was starting to get mad.
Where do you live?
On a boat.
Where’s the boat? he asked. She wondered why he wanted to know that. What was he going to do now?
On the river, she said. It doesn’t matter. I have to leave tonight. I don’t know where the boat is.
The waiter kept staring at her. Jesus Christ, what a starer!
Well, just sign the name of the boat, he said.
He looked at where she signed the piece of paper. Then he gave her a dirty look and said, And now, when you get back to your boat please get some money from your boat and bring it back here, OK? Because other people gotta live too, ya know?
She picked up her purse and shirts from the floor by the telephone and saw him smile at somebody back in the kitchen and shake his head as she went out the door. At least he wasn’t as bad as she thought he was going to be. He could have called the cops or something. He probably thought she was some kind of crazy person.
It was getting cold and the street looked spooky now in the dark.
The restaurant door closed behind her. She could have left this box of shirts to pay for it, she thought. Now she had to carry them. But he never asked.
She thought about going back and giving them to him… No, it was all over. He wouldn’t take them, anyway…