There really wasn’t much purpose in being up here in this hotel room, he thought. His business with Redford was all done. He really should be back down there on the river watching after things. He’d checked the boat lines yesterday, but you never know. Some tug could throw a wake in there and really mess things up. Lila had said she would just go down and take her suitcase off, but under the circumstances, with her mad at him like that, it was probably something he should check into. Particularly in this city. In this dreadful night.
By the time he was done showering he had decided to pack and get back and sleep on the boat.
He dressed and packed his duffel bag and got ready to go. Then, with his tote bag full of unread mail over one arm, and a duffel bag balancing it in the other hand, he passed through the sitting room toward the door. There he noticed that the moth was still buzzing under the lamp shade, still engaged in its own personal war with the forces of darkness. He took one last look at the magic balcony window on the other side of the room and then closed the door on it forever.
In the hallway, waiting for the elevator, he listened to the howling windy sounds of the elevator shaft. Howling wind sounds. They have a meaning for boat people that others seldom understand.
Suddenly it came to him that the moth didn’t struggle to get up here at all. That moth rode up here on the elevator like everybody else. That was a twentieth-century moth. Only Victorian moths struggled against the darkness.
He smiled a little at that.
25
When Phædrus' taxi arrived at the 79th Street Boat Basin he could see that the wind coming in over the river had shifted to the northwest. It was a sign the rain would stop soon.
By the gate, sitting on a rail, was a black man who stared at him. Phædrus wondered for a moment why he was there. Then he realized he must be a guard. He didn’t have any uniform though.
Phædrus paid the driver, gathered his luggage from the seat of the taxi, and stepped out.
You keeping things quiet here? he said to the guard.
The man nodded and asked, Is that your boat way out on the end?
Phædrus said it was. What’s wrong with it?
Nothing. He looked at Phædrus. But there’s someone on it.
What’s he doing?
It’s a lady. She’s just sitting there. No raincoat. I asked her what was the matter, said she "belonged" there. She just looked at me.
I know her, Phædrus said. She must have forgotten the combination.
The boards of the dock were slippery, and as he walked carefully with all his luggage he could see her out there under the boom gallows.
He didn’t like it. She was supposed to be gone for good. He wondered what she had in store for him now.
When he got there Lila’s eyes were wide and staring. She acted as if she didn’t recognize him. He wondered if she was on drugs.
He swung his luggage over the life lines and stepped aboard himself. Why didn’t you go in? he asked.
She didn’t answer.
He’d find out soon enough.
He rotated the combination wheels of the lock in the dark, counting clicks, then gave a sharp tug on the lock, and it opened. Maybe that’s why she couldn’t get in.
Couldn’t you get the lock to work? They stole my purse.
Oh, that was her problem.
He felt a little relieved. If money was all she needed, he could give her enough of that to get her going in the morning. No harm putting her up for one more night.
Well, let’s get down inside, he said.
We’re ready to go now, Lila said. She got up strangely, as if she was carrying something heavy all wrapped in her arms.
Who is we? Phædrus wondered.
Down below he gave her a towel, but instead of wiping herself with it she opened up what she had been carrying and began to stroke what looked like a baby’s face.
As he looked closer he saw that it wasn’t a baby. It was the head of a doll.
Lila smiled at him. We’re all going together, she said.
He looked at her face carefully. It was serene.
She came back to me, Lila said, from the river.
Who?
She’s going to help us get to the island.
What island? he wondered. What’s this doll?… What are you talking about? he asked.
He looked at her very closely. She returned his gaze and suddenly he saw it again — the thing he had seen in the bar at Kingston, the light, and he felt inappropriately relaxed by it.
This wasn’t drugs.
He settled back on the berth, trying to find some space to think this through. This was coming at him too fast.
After a while he said, Tell me about the island.
Lucky’s probably already there, she said.
Lucky?
We’re all going, she said. Then she added, You see, I know who you are.
Who? he asked.
The boatman.
There was no point in asking her any more questions. All he got was still more questions.
She looked down again at the doll with an adoring look. This wasn’t any kind of drugs, he thought. This was real trouble. He recognized the style of what she was saying, the salad of words. He had been accused of it himself, once. They meant something to her but she was leaving things out and skipping and hopping from place to place.
He watched her for a long time, then saw she was getting dreamy.
You’d better dry off and change clothes, he said. She didn’t answer. She just looked down at the doll and made little cooing sounds.
Why don’t you go up forward and rest? he said.
Still no answer.
Do you want something to eat?
She shook her head and smiled dreamily.
He got up and tugged at her shoulder. Come on, he said, you’re falling asleep.
She woke a little, looked at him blindly, then carefully wrapped the doll again and got up. She stepped ahead of him like a sleepwalker into the forecabin and there placed the doll carefully in the bunk ahead of her and then slowly climbed in.
Sleep as long as you want, he said.
She didn’t answer. She seemed to be asleep already.
He went back and sat down.
That wasn’t so hard, he thought.
He wondered what he would do with her in the morning. Maybe she’d snap out of it. That sometimes happened.
He got a flashlight and lifted the cabin sole boards to check the level of water in the bilge.
It was still quite low.
He then got a wrench and opened the top of the drinking water tank and shone the flashlight beam inside. It looked about half-full. He could fill it tomorrow morning, he thought, just before he left.