When they had been on the road for about quarter of an hour, Theres poked her head out. She looked around the dark interior, and Jerry swept the beam of the torch around to show her no dangers were lurking. She said something and Jerry had to lean closer to hear her over the roar of the engine. ‘What did you say?’
‘The big people,’ said Theres. ‘When are the big people going to make Little One dead?’
‘Listen, sis…’ Jerry moved closer to her, but Theres retreated into the far corner of the sofa. When Jerry shone the light on her he saw that she was at least as terrified as she had been up in the apartment. He switched off the torch to avoid dazzling her, and spoke into the darkness.
‘Sis, this whole business with the big people-it’s all just made up. It’s not true. It was just some crap Dad made up because…because he didn’t want you to run away.’
‘You’re lying. The big people have hate in their heads. You said it too.’
‘Yes, but that was just so that you’d…forget it. But nobody’s going to kill you. You don’t need to be scared.’
They sat in silence in the darkness for a long time. The sound of the engine was soporific, and Jerry might have fallen asleep if he hadn’t started to feel really cold. He wrapped the blanket more tightly around him and stared at a thin strip of light along the bottom of the doors. The feeling of being on the way had been replaced by a sense that he was being transported, like a piece of furniture or a pig, and his good mood evaporated. When they had travelled so far that he could tell from the sound of the engine that they were driving along a street with buildings on either side, Theres said, ‘Are the big people nice?’
‘No,’ said Jerry. ‘That’s going a bit far. That’s not what I said. Most of them are nasty bastards, if they get the chance. I’m just telling you they’re not going to kill you. Or hurt you.’
Jerry added silently: unless they’ve got something to gain from it.
When the doors opened Jerry was blinded by the white winter light. Theres had crawled back under her blanket, and Martin and Mats were waiting outside with their arms folded.
‘It’s the third floor, isn’t it?’ said one of the twins, pointing at Theres. ‘I think you’d better try and get the girl to go up with you. It was a bit of fun once, but…’
Jerry asked them to back off a little and leaned over Theres, whispering where he thought her ear might be, ‘Come on, sis. Everything’s fine. I’ll hold your hand.’ A few seconds passed and Jerry had begun to consider carrying Theres wrapped in the blanket, when a hand emerged. He took it and gently folded back the blanket, then led her out of the van.
She walked with her head bent, as if she expected a devastating blow to the back of her neck at any moment. When it didn’t come, she stole a quick glance at the twins. They waved in unison with exactly the same expression on their faces, like something out of a cartoon. Jerry wondered if they lived together as well.
He held his head high as they walked towards the door, because there was no longer anything to hide, and he didn’t want it to look as if there might be. There were always watchful eyes. Here comes a father with his daughter to take over their new apartment, nothing odd about that. Theres, however, was playing her role very badly, and her fingers were squeezing his hand like pincers.
She relaxed slightly once they were inside the small lift, and looked around in confusion when they came out onto the landing; she couldn’t understand how they had got there. Jerry unlocked the door of their apartment and left it open, then led Theres to her new room.
‘This is where you’re going to live,’ he said. As Theres looked suspiciously around the completely empty room, he added, ‘With furniture, and stuff, of course. We’ll have to buy a bed and…’
Theres went and sat on the floor in the corner, drew her knees up to her chin and looked as if she wasn’t entirely displeased with the current state of the room. Jerry heard a bang and a muffled curse from the stairs and said, ‘Listen, they’re bringing the furniture up now, so…’
Theres hugged herself even more tightly and stayed where she was, unassailable. A minute or two later the twins came lumbering in with the sofa, and Jerry asked them to put it in Theres’ room. She would have to sleep on it until he managed to get a bed. The girl followed the movements of the two big men with her eyes wide open, her fingers constantly intertwining. The twins seemed to have accepted that they couldn’t make any contact with Theres, and placed things in her room in silence.
Each time they came in Theres slackened the grip around her knees a fraction, and by the time they brought in the last two little boxes containing her clothes, she was on her feet.
‘So,’ said Mats, or Martin, looking around the apartment where the paltry furnishings echoed in the emptiness. He seemed to be searching for something positive to say, but had no success. Instead he finished off with, ‘There we are, then.’
‘Yes,’ said Jerry. ‘There we are.’
A couple of days after they had moved into the apartment, Theres started her first period. Jerry was sitting at the computer trying to make a bit of money in a poker game when Theres came out of her room and said, ‘How did it get to be open?’
Jerry was so preoccupied with the game that he didn’t look away from the screen as he asked, ‘How did what get to be open?’
Theres came and stood next to him and said, ‘It’s coming out. Who did it?’
Jerry gave a start when he saw her. Then he understood. Her knickers and T-shirt were spattered with red, and blood had trickled down her left leg, all the way to the ankle. Theres wasn’t afraid, just puzzled as she stood there staring at her sticky fingers.
Jerry folded in the poker game, something he’d been intending to do anyway, and logged out of Partypoker. He scratched his head, not knowing where to start. Despite the fact that he had decided what the official version of his relationship with Theres was going to be, this was the first time he actually felt like a single dad.
‘Well…’ said Jerry. ‘This is something that happens. It’s going to happen every month. You’re going to bleed like this. From now on.’
‘Why?’
‘To be perfectly honest…I don’t have much of an idea. But it’s because you’re growing up. It happens to all girls as they grow up. They bleed for a few days each month.’
Theres carried on looking at her fingers, her eyes sliding over her stained clothes and striped legs. Then she frowned and asked, ‘What am I?’
‘What do you mean? You’re a girl-is that what you mean?’
‘More.’
‘You’re about thirteen years old, you’re…I don’t know what you are. You’ll have to work that out for yourself.’
Theres nodded and went back to her room. Jerry stayed where he was for a while, thinking he was completely useless. That was how things were with Theres. She accepted everything you said to her, as long as it wasn’t contradicted by something she’d been told in the past. When he went into her room she was sitting quite happily on the floor looking through a pile of CDs as she bled onto the rug underneath her.
‘Sis,’ said Jerry. ‘I have to go and buy a couple of things. You go and have a shower, and then…’ Jerry found a blank sheet of paper, wrote the word ‘menstruation’ on it and gave it to Theres.
‘That’s what it’s called. When you bleed like that. Look it up on the net while I’m out. When you’ve had a shower.’
Jerry pulled on his jacket and hurried out. The problem of Theres and her periods had never even crossed his mind. He had never thought of her as a young woman, or even a girl, really. She was too different to be anything other than simply herself. Neuter. But now it had happened.