The zombie reached inside its chest (not just inside its tattered jacket, Toede noticed, but into the cavity where a beating heart would normally reside), and pulled out a medallion. He held it aloft, and it spun and glittered at the end of its chain.
The others craned to read the medallion's faces. Toede did not have to.
"One side has a picture of Hopsloth the late Water Prophet," said the zombie. "The other a crudely inscribed T, a dedication, and a date, all in the same hand. The dedication goes back to a year ago."
Toede kept his voice level. "And?" he said.
"Within a day of finding it, two of my zombies were crushed flat, and Hopsloth was found dead, and the people of Flotsam ascribed the occurrence to the actions of an individual whose name begins with a T," said the zombie. "I believe in omens and signs, Highmaster. I believe that it is better to deal with you here and now. Those who encounter you as an enemy seem to end up in a bad way."
"Instead of a charmed life," said Toede, dryly, "I lead a charmed death."
"If you say so," responded the zombie. "I am willing to facilitate the achievement of your ends."
"Which are?" said Toede, looking innocent of any ends.
The zombie's face crinkled in what Toede assumed was an attempt at a smile. "Why, taking Flotsam back as your own domain, what else?"
What else indeed, thought Toede. Five people attempting to conquer a city was foolhardy, even if-especially if-backed up by an army of kender. He had been scanning for an escape for the past two days, with little luck. But that same assault, aided by gnolls and a powerful sorcerer skilled in the nature of undeath, and perhaps, just perhaps…
"You assume I still desire Flotsam," Toede said. "I've heard if s gotten a bit run-down in the past six months."
"You want Flotsam," said the zombie flatly. "Otherwise you never would have joined this foolish rebellion. And the other members are willing to give it back to you, since they believe they can get what they want better from you than from Groag."
"And what do they want?"
"Have you asked them?" said the zombie, with the same face-crinkling smile. "They probably talk of rights and grievances and vengeances, but they all want something. What do you think it is?"
Toede looked at the others, who seemed lost in somber thought. Then Taywin said, "Permission." "Excuse me?" said Toede.
"Permission," repeated Taywin, her brow furrowed. "The kender are hunted as poachers and thieves, not only by Groag but by his predecessors. Including you. The kender want to hunt and fish in the lands claimed by Flotsam, should we win."
Toede was silent for a moment. "Done," he said at length, "provided that merchants and agents of the local lord are not harassed." Taywin nodded, and Toede thought immediately of five ways to frame the kender and be done with them in the long run.
Charka put in his two coins' worth next. "Charka want to go to Flotsam. Not just Charka, but Charka's people. Not just Charka's people, but other people who are not Charka's."
"You mean lift the ban on humanoids?" said Toede.
"Yes," Charka replied. "Books are in Flotsam, and Charka cannot get to them. Lift ban, and Charka's people fight for Toede."
Toede nodded. "Done." Renders patted Charka on the arm.
"Who's next?" asked the zombie.
Rogate spoke up. "I live only to serve Lord Toede, and accept whatever role he chooses for me."
The necromancer made a wheezing (if rude) noise. "No one honestly believes such."
Toede stepped in. "Rogate does. That's enough for me. He has already been knighted for his efforts and loyalty.
Bunniswot?"
"I live only to serve," said the young scholar, spreading his hands.
"I'd buy that from Rogate," said Toede, "but not you. You already have a position of some minor importance in Groag's court. Why risk helping us?"
Bunniswot was silent. "Maybe I want to be a part of history. A part of change," he said at last.
"Maybe you want to play at being the lord's advisor, moving the pieces around the board at your own whims?" suggested Toede.
"I'm insulted," said Bunniswot (bingo, thought Toede). "At most I want your input into the history I will write about your life and career."
"Done," said Toede. Having gone through the list, the hobgoblin returned the conversation to its starting place. "And you, Necromancer, what do you want?"
"There are casualties in every conflict," said the zombie. "Their deaths will swell my ranks. I will not dissemble to inferiors, so I tell you that I foresee many deaths in this conflict. I demand all the bodies of the dead after the battle is over."
Toede shot a look at the other members of the rebellion. Charka was scowling, but both Rogate and Taywin were nodding-the hard, cold-faced agreement of soldiers to whom death was no stranger. Renders looked as though he had swallowed part of his ear, and Bunniswot was going pale once again.
The zombie ignored all this. "Also, I want your body."
"You're not my idea of a suitable mate," said Toede.
"You jest," said the necromancer, not jesting. "If you perish in the assault, I want your physical remains. Among other things, I am curious whether you are able to return with or without your body, or to the same location in your next life. Purely scientific interest."
"Purely," said Toede, thinking that the necromancer could build an army of hobgoblin bodies should Toede kick off every six months. Then another image crossed his brain, of an undead Toede sitting on the throne of Flotsam, controlled by the necromancer.
"Only if I perish in battle," Toede qualified. Even through the mask of undead flesh Toede could detect the flicker of greed.
"Done," said the necromancer. "How soon before the kender can mass at the edge of Flotsam's fields?"
Taywin looked at the zombie. "Three days, maybe four."
"Make it three," said the necromancer. The auguries are right for three days hence. In the morning, south of the city, where the walls are still ruined. Will the gnolls be ready for a fight?"
"Charka always ready!"
"Meet the kender there the night before," said the zombie. "My forces will be ready the next morning. Are there any questions?" There was only silence from the other members of the rebellion.
"Good." The zombie pitched forward, dissolving into dust as it fell. Its bones landed and shook apart where it struck the ground.
Rogate fished the amulet from the now-truly-dead creature's stiff fingers.
"What an odd and unpleasant individual," sniffed Renders.
"Aye," said Toede. "But at least he is one I can understand."
Chapter 24
In which Our Protagonist receives much advice from many visitors on the night before the battle, and we witness the Last Temptation of Toede.
The next two days passed quickly, what with the preparations for war. In the case of the kender this consisted of a number of parties and rallies, and several long explanations as to why they could not take everything that might be useful into battle. There were a surprising number of cast-iron frying pans that had been pressed into temporary service as maces and cudgels that now needed to be returned to their original owners. Sometimes Toede felt he was leading a grade-school outing as opposed to a military operation.
The others were little help. Bunniswot returned to Flotsam (over Toede's objections, but with the approval of the others) to keep an eye on Groag and report any major troop movements. With her father, Taywin handled the daily routine of drilling the kender troops (making sure they all charged in the same direction). Rogate was good for pep talks but still lousy for tactics. Charka and Renders were gathering their forces, while the necromancer remained decidedly aloof.