She doesn’t speak and when I turn back to look at her, she looks like a deer caught in the headlights.
“Why are you looking at me like that?”
She shakes herself out of it. “I’m just surprised. Is he like…a boyfriend?”
I sigh. “No. Not really.”
Truth is, he and I have been talking almost every day for a week, and the fact that we will be walking into school together today pretty much makes him my boyfriend, in that vague, unofficial way.
“But you want him to be?” she presses.
I frown. “I don’t know Mom. It’s complicated.”
Do I like Bruno? Yes. Would I ever have gone out with him if Logan hadn’t asked me to? Probably not. But the more I get to know him, the more I realize he really is a good guy.
“Is he cute?”
I grab the red dress from my closet and fold it over my arm. “You know how you think someone is sort of…I don’t know, one way, so you never really look at them or think they are good looking. But then you get to know them, and the more you like their personality, the more attractive they get?”
As soon as I say it, a lump forms in my throat because I realize I’m not just talking about Bruno. Logan is still sitting in my chair, listening intently.
Mom’s standing there with her hand over her mouth like she’s gonna cry.
I roll my eyes. “Ok, that’s it. You get out. I need to get ready.”
Walking over, I shoo her back and close my door.
“Rain check on breakfast?” she asks through the door.
I press my head against the wood panel. “Sure Mom.”
I turn and Logan is staring at me. “Are you really starting to like Bruno?”
I shrug. “He’s hard not to like.”
Logan nods in agreement. “Still, just keep your eyes on the prize. I’m not playing matchmaker here. He’s just your way into the group. You still have to make everyone else like you. Including Kaylee.”
I narrow my eyes, “Speaking of, any tips on that front?”
He holds up his hands in a no clue gesture. I sigh.
“Great,” I mutter.
“What? Dudes, I get. But chicks are like puzzles with no corner pieces and no pictures on the box.”
I just stare at him.
“What?” he asks defensively.
I point to the window. “Get lost so I can get ready.”
He sighs, “I thought we were beyond such trivial concerns. Where is your sense of trust?”
I put a hand on my hip. “The same place my foot’s about to be.”
He snickers. “Fine. You have ten minutes.”
“Twenty.”
“Prude.”
“Perv.”
And he’s gone, leaving me holding my new dress and wondering why I miss him so much.
I’m just lacing up my black ankle boots when Logan reappears.
“Bruno just left his house, he’ll be here in like five…”
I look up, carefully re-adjusting the waves of brown hair behind my shoulders.
His face has frozen in mid word and it’s so comical that I laugh.
“You okay there, Polterdouche?”
“You look like a girl,” he stammers.
I promptly flip him off.
“Ah, there’s my little princess. So Bruno will be here in five minutes. You know the plan, right?”
I salute him. “Secure an invitation to lunch. Create opportunities to befriend Kaylee. Try not to go all Wookie and rip someone’s arms out of socket.”
I lift my foot into the air, “And try not to kill myself in these shoes.”
He nods, appraising me. “Good. Yeah. Great.”
He moves over to the window, staring outside.
“But I need you to do me a favor, Logan.”
He looks back over his shoulder, eyebrows furrowing. “What?”
I slide my denim jacket on and grab my messenger bag. “Don’t follow me into class, ok. You are just…too distracting.”
“Fair enough. I can see how looking at me would be a distraction. I’ll walk you into first period, then I’ll just wander around until lunch, sound good?”
I look at him, one eyebrow raised in suspicion. He gave in way too easily on that.
“Wandering where?”
He feigns a hurt look. “I’m not going to be hanging out in the girl’s locker room if that’s what you were thinking.”
I’m still not sure I trust the cocky grin on his face but I don’t have time to argue because the tell-tale sound of Bruno’s truck roars into my driveway. I dart out of my room and stride toward the front door. Mom’s sitting at the table.
“Do I get to meet him?” she hollers over her cup of coffee.
“No,” I call back with a goodbye wave.
I already have my hand on the knob when the doorbell rings. Pulling my hand back I take a deep breath, lift my chin, and straighten my shoulders.
A quick glance over my shoulder tells me Logan is right beside me. I open the door and Bruno smiles.
“Hey. Are you ready?”
“Yep.” I pull the door closed on Logan who floats through with a huff. “Thanks for picking me up.”
“Well, you’re on the way.”
I laugh. “No I’m not. I’m three miles in the opposite direction.”
He shrugs, “Still.”
Bruno blushes, rushing to my side of the truck and pulling the door open for me.
I mutter, “Thanks,” and slide in.
The inside of his truck is spotless, even the beat up carpet under my feet is freshly vacuumed. A little round air freshener hangs from his rear view mirror, right next to his championship lacrosse medal.
The leather dash is worn and faded grey. The old radio has been removed, a fancy new deck installed. It glows red, music gently throbbing through the speakers. I recognize the song. It’s one of my favorite bands. The music is upbeat and peppy and I start humming along without thinking.
Bruno slides in and smiles. He’s gotten a haircut since the last time I saw him. His dark hair is shorn close to his scalp, too short to comb, but long enough to run his fingers through before grinding into gear.
“I didn’t know you liked Matt & Kim. They’re one of my favorite bands.” I say, carefully crossing my legs.
He raises one shoulder in a half shrug as we drive off. “I know,” he says pointedly.
I sit back, a little surprised. “How do you know?”
“I can be mysterious too, you know.”
I shake my head softly. “Fair enough.”
I ask him about his summer, trying nonchalantly to steer the conversation toward the past few weeks, trying to dig out any info about Logan’s missing days. He talks about everything but Logan. I can’t blame him really, it’s probably sore spot. Still, I need the info.
We pull in and I stare at the front doors. People are milling around, hugging each other and talking. I catch sight of Kaylee and her roving band of followers as they stride into the school like a pack of wolves in high heels.
I suck in a deep breath, deliberately trying to look even more nervous than I feel.
“You okay?” he asks.
I nod once.
“Do you think they will have grief counselors and stuff?”
Last year when some freshman died in a car accident, they had grief counselors stationed in the library for a week. It was weird and disruptive, and basically an excuse to get out of that test you forgot to prepare for or that class you hated.
He sighs. “No. School policy. They don’t do that in cases of suicide. Don’t want to glamorize it.”
That makes my head snap up.
“Suicide?” Logan and I say at the same time, though obviously Bruno can only hear me. “I thought it was an accident?”
He shifts in his seat, looking really uncomfortable.
“That’s the word his family put out. But my uncle works for the Sherriff. The official cause of death on the report is suicide.”
I can feel my face contort in rage. “That’s idiotic. Logan would never do that.”