Surprisingly, with him there, she fell asleep quickly.
The next morning he was up before her. Only two hours sleep—how could he do it?
“Good morning.”
She sat up, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. “Morning.”
“There’s still plenty of hot water.”
“Thanks. What’s on the agenda for today?”
“Would you like to go with me?”
“Depends.” Yes, yes, yes!
He smiled. She wasn’t even mad that he read her thoughts that time. “One of our divisions is working with the USGS to develop new seismology-detection equipment. I’m meeting with scientists today. You might find it interesting.”
“Thanks. I’d like that.”
He hesitated, then held out his hand to her. She took it and threw back the covers. “Can I give you a hug without getting my nuts handed back to me?” he asked.
“Yes.”
She enjoyed the feel of his arms around her. She didn’t want him to let go, wanted to pull him into bed with her. The sheets would still be warm, and the room was chilly. She felt his cock harden against her. Heat flooded her body at the thought of how his strong arms would feel wrapped around her bare flesh…
She gasped when Matthias let her go and stepped back.
“Anastazia, not like this. Not until you really, truly feel it.”
She swallowed and understood what he was telling her at the cafe. Even though she expected to feel desire for Matthias, especially after what happened between them and knowing what she knew, the pull was still great.
So how much of this is real, and how much is his influence on me?
“That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you. I can handle rejection. I want you only if you really, when I’m not around, still have those feelings for me. Even you are not immune to me, and I don’t mean to sound like an asshole saying that. I’m not immune to you, either. But I’ve had a lot longer to practice my self-control, and I know how to keep it in my pants.”
Didn’t a guy like it when a woman tried to climb him like a tree? “How will spending all day with you help me figure out what I want?”
“You have to get to know me sometime. You also have to learn how to put up and maintain a mental barrier against others of our kind.”
“Why didn’t you have this effect on me before, when we first met?”
“Didn’t I?” He smiled. She blushed. She thought about the gym, the car trip, their first dinner meeting.
Yeah, she’d always had the hots for him.
“I can assure you,” he continued, “the feeling is mutual. And always has been.”
“Maybe I am really feeling it.”
“Maybe you are. I hope you are.” He looked like he wanted to reach out and touch her, but he turned away. “We’ll be waiting outside. Breakfast, and then onward.”
Chapter Twenty
After breakfast, she rode with Matthias. Everyone else followed in the second vehicle. “We’re staying down there because of the geyser basin,” he said. “Albert told me he explained some of it. Canyon Village is more convenient, but I’m willing to trade convenience for the additional safety factor.”
Matthias played tour guide along the way. When they passed West Thumb Geyser Basin, he pulled over at the first opportunity so she could see Yellowstone Lake.
“It’s huge.”
He nodded. “It’s also very unpredictable.”
They drove on in silence. When they passed Fishing Bridge, Taz tried to make amends. “I do want to learn as much as I can.”
“I know.” He didn’t look at her. “I’m not trying to keep you out of the loop. I want to tell you everything I know. But I’m worried about who’s trying to hurt you, so I’m a little preoccupied. I’m also trying to not overload you. It’s hard enough on you going through this without extra stuff to worry about.”
“What exactly is going on with me?”
“You’ve spent your life tightly controlled, which isn’t a bad thing. Tim taught you early on to control yourself without revealing anything about your powers. You’ve found ways to explain things that fit your view of reality. You didn’t think it was odd you effortlessly earned a black belt in less than two years?”
She shook her head.
“You are a crack target shooter. You fluently speak two foreign languages—”
“Three.”
“Three then. What’s the third?”
“I learned Italian last year.”
He smiled. “Eccellente, mia amore.”
Taz smiled as he continued. “Most people cannot do that. Things are easy for you in many ways, so you push yourself to do more. That’s been to compensate because you couldn’t use your powers, even though you didn’t know it. You had to deal with the built-up energy somehow. You needed the challenge, sought it out. Including people. When you broke up with your partners in the past, you realized it was because you felt they were totally open, no more secrets, and that you were the one in charge.”
“I don’t want secrets.”
“Pardon me, cara mia.” She smiled again. “Secrets wasn’t the right word. I mean they melted before you. At first they seemed strong, then it’s like they bowed before you without you even asking. They were totally open to you, without mystery, without any will of their own.”
She looked down at her lap. “Okay, fine. Yes.”
“You wanted an equal.”
“They were nice.”
“I didn’t say they weren’t. But looking back, you see what I mean.”
She nodded.
I won’t cry. I will not cry!
He didn’t look her way. “You don’t have to ignore those things anymore. Your intuition, your experiences, they’re all valid. You’re not just hypersensitive or obsessive. You can hear and see and sense so much more than others. You will learn how to control and master it, instead of ignoring and compensating.” When Taz rebuilt the bubble around her thoughts, Matthias fell silent. “You can do that, too.”
“When I do that, you can’t read my thoughts?”
“Not when you put up a strong one. It will be very draining on you if you do it too long. At first, at least.”
“Can’t you just not listen?”
“I try, but it’s like grocery store music. You don’t hear it until something catches your attention. Then the harder you try to tune it out, the louder it seems. I know you might not believe me, but I don’t spend time trying to listen to you. I spend most of my time actively focusing on other things so I’m not hearing you.”
“Thank you. I think.”
“Taz, please, don’t start with me.”
“No, I didn’t mean it like that. Seriously.” She touched his leg. “Truce? I’m sorry I’m snappy. I don’t want to be like that.”
He nodded. “I meant it when I said I have patience. I’m willing to wait. As long as it takes.” He looked at her, and she wished she could just let go, fall into his eyes and his arms and give herself to him without reservation. To fully trust him.
She didn’t speak the rest of the drive. He took her on a tour of the Canyon Visitor Education Center, through the large supervolcano exhibit. The others maintained a discreet distance, and Matthias was so caught up in the subject that she was able to forget their issues and enjoy herself.
It was nice seeing this side of him. Professional, yet personal and passionate about what he shared with her. He delighted in the large model of the Yellowstone caldera, explaining the different eruptions to her, how the hydrothermal features worked. After a while she saw yet another side of Matthias—enthusiastic, real. Normal. A really nice, smart guy she enjoyed spending time with.