He was a strong man, but she wished he’d let her in and help him heal. It couldn’t be rushed, of course, any more than her own healing could. Yet in this point where their pain intersected, she wished, for once, she could make some headway.
Selfish? Yes. She admitted it.
After a while he stretched his left arm out to his side, palm up, waiting. He’d never turned his head in her direction, could not have seen her standing there.
He’d sensed her presence.
Without a word, she padded across the bridge to him and took his hand. He pulled her into his lap. She curled up, her head against his firm chest. She wanted to talk to him, but sensing his mood¯deep, contemplative, melancholy¯she changed her mind.
He sighed as he wrapped his arms around her, burying his face in her hair. A sense of calm relaxation gradually replaced his previous tense emotions. He’d always given her a sense of warm strength.
Maybe he gained the same from her?
Emi didn’t realize she’d fallen asleep again until she felt him lay her in their bed. A moment later he slid under the sheet next to her, holding her.
Despite her confusion over his actions and her desperation to know, she didn’t want to ask the question. Part of her feared his answer¯that he maybe didn’t love her the way she loved him, the way the twins loved her¯and part of her didn’t want to break his newly-calmed mood.
He held her, his heartbeat soft and strong against her cheek as she closed her eyes again. It confused her that yes, his actions spoke love, but why couldn’t he say it?
Chapter Nine
It didn’t seem important the next morning. Emi had a day off from training classes, and Aaron still laid wrapped around her. The twins weren’t in bed.
“Good morning,” he whispered. “Are you feeling better?” Her eyes must have betrayed her shock. He smiled. “The way you tracked me down last night. And the way you’ve been acting. Plus the chip. That, and the twins told me.”
She closed her eyes and groaned. “They have big mouths.” He leaned over and kissed her, sweet and slow, his tongue lightly tracing the seam of her lips, distracting her the way his kisses always did.
“I cannot imagine life without you here,” he said, staring into her eyes. “And that’s the truth.” He started to say something else when the com alert tone sounded.
“Sorry, Aar,” Ford apologized, “but Graymard just buzzed. Needs you in his office asap for a consult briefing about a new applicant.” Aaron swore under his breath. “Thanks, Ford,” he said, loud enough for the com to pick up his reply. “Tell him I’ll be right there.” He’d immediately switched from lover to captain mode. He kissed her again and was out of the bed before she could say anything.
“I’m sorry, Em,” he apologized over his shoulder, jogging for the head. “One of those times it sucks to be captain.” She flopped back in bed, staring at the ceiling. “Yeah,” she mumbled. “Sometimes it sucks to be the crew, too.” He gave her a quick kiss five minutes later as he rushed out the door.
The twins worked on the bridge while she ate breakfast. Emi considered seeking them out but knew they were busy and didn’t want to distract them. She tried calling Donna at work. They talked for a few minutes, but Donna couldn’t take a long lunch break.
Emi walked over to the cafeteria with her hand-held console, wanting time out of the ship, at least. She spent an hour eating a leisurely lunch, reading a book on her console, occasionally chatting with some of the other crews. They didn’t do a lot of socializing, not because it was discouraged but because they were all so busy.
When she’d finished eating she moved outside to the cool, shaded gardens to read some more. The middle of winter, but New Phoenix was balmy if you stayed out of the sun. Not so much during the summer, unfortunately, when it was scorching hot outside even in the shade.
On her way back she thought she heard angry voices. In the distance she saw Aaron stalking to the ship, away from the Kendall Kant’s Captain Elloy, who looked smug and arrogant. By the time she reached the gangway, he’d also disappeared.
She found Aaron storming around the galley, alone, the twins giving him wide berth.
“What’s wrong?” she asked.
He set his jaw as he slapped a sandwich together. “Nothing. Just assholes running their mouths, that’s all.” He looked at her and his face softened. He leaned over and kissed her. “Nothing you need to worry about.” He took his sandwich with him. She suspected he was off to the engine room to work on something, or at the very least to calm down. That was his place to relax, where hers was the hydroponic lab.
Emi decided to make good use of her time and went to the retrofit construction office to put in plans for some final modifications she wanted for sick bay and the hydro lab. She stood at the counter, talking with the foreman in charge of their ship, when she heard amused male voices floating from an open office door.
“I cannot believe those… faggots got that ship. They have no business getting a full heavy. What have they done to deserve it?” Emi froze. She knew that voice. Captain Elloy from the Kendall Kant.
The horrified foreman tried to distract her but she held up a staying hand as she listened.
Elloy continued his rant. “Not only they get a ship that’s too good for them, they get an Alpha-ranked med officer? A female Alpha-ranked med officer? Screw that. I could understand her picking the Braynow Gaston over us, that wouldn’t bother me. But the TB? Fuck, that should stand for ‘The Buttfuckers.’” Hoarse, braying laughter, and Elloy continued. “She’s probably a friggin dyke, picked them so she never had to get laid…” The voice trailed off. The foreman had walked over and quietly pulled the door shut, his face red. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “He’s an asshole. Aaron and the guys are good at what they do. The K-2 guys are just jealous, that’s all. Aaron and the guys got the better ship and they got the beautiful girl.” He smiled, trying to diffuse the situation.
Emi held onto her rage and somehow made it through the rest of their talk. When the office door opened minutes later, Elloy and another foreman stepped out. The captain only paused a second when he saw her.
She glared at him. He had the nerve to smile before talking to the foreman. “Get the hover lift, I’ll show you what I mean. Up on the top of the ship, I want to…” The door closing behind them cut him off.
Sudden pain in her palms made her look at her hands. She’d dug her fingernails into her skin with her clenched fists, almost drawing blood.
Emi quickly finished and returned to the Tamora Bight, in full run as she hit the gangway to the main hatch. She’d glanced at the next berth. Sure enough, Elloy and the foreman were up top with one of the other grunts looking at something.
She glanced at her ship and grinned, her idea now fully formed.
Racing down the main corridor, she tried to find the guys and located Ford in the secondary corridor. She grabbed his arm, pulling him behind her. “Come on!”
“What?”
“I don’t have time to tell you. Follow me.” He easily jogged behind her up to the bridge. Caph was in the common area, but she didn’t have time to get him. She wanted to do this while she still had an audience. Racing up the ladder to the observation dome, she waved Ford up behind her. “Hurry!”
“What is going¯”
She grabbed his hand as he reached the platform, pulling him to her and kissing him.
He only resisted for a second, then got into it. She turned them around so she could peek and waited until the men on the top of the K-2 were finally looking their way.
She jumped up and wrapped her legs around his waist. “Just play along, Ford,” she said, careful to keep her face turned from the window. They were about thirty feet away from the other men, but she didn’t want to risk them being able to read lips.