“Hmm?” he moaned, all sleepy and sexy, and gah! I wasn’t equipped to deal with flirty Rowan! Not hungover, without coffee, and with stank breath.
“What… what happened last night?”
Lifting the arm that was around my waist, he brushed a piece of hair from my forehead, tucking it behind my ear. “Well, let’s see,” he said, his words strung together with humor. “From what I gathered, you and your girls got shitfaced, made a scene at a bar, went all Fight Club on the poor bouncer and got hauled in by the cops. Griff and Dex thought it would be funny to stick you in the drunk tank for a little while, where you quickly made friends with a transgender hooker.”
“LaWanda,” I whispered, memories of the night before coming back to me. “I remember her. She told me how to turn old eye shadow into lipstick. I really liked her.” Then I cringed. “So, we were arrested?”
“Nah.” He chuckled, still unbelievably close to me. The bastard’s breath didn’t smell the least bit bad. I hated him. “No one pressed charges. You triplet terrors are good.”
I breathed a sigh of relief against my palm before trying to pull back. His arm banded back around me and he tossed one of his large thighs over my legs, pinning me in place. “It’s early. Go back to sleep.”
“I can’t sleep here.”
“Why not?” he asked curiously, like he really didn’t understand why sharing a bed with him wrapped around me was a horrible idea. “And why are you covering your mouth like that?”
“Because I have Frankenstein breath,” I admitted without a care, suddenly remembering clearly why I got so drunk the night before in the first place. “And I can’t sleep here because I hate you,” I finished with a glare.
The stupid jerk’s grin grew even bigger. “You don’t hate me.”
Okay, that pissed me off so I uncovered my mouth, hoping my breath would make him pass out. “Yes, I do.”
“No, you don’t. You want to, but I make it too hard.”
My body froze as his words replayed in my achy head. I’d thought that exact same statement countless times since last night. It was as if he’d read my mind.
“Get off me,” I grunted as I shoved at him. It was like trying to shove at a brick wall.
“Navie…”
“I said get off!” I seethed. Then I blew in his face. It wasn’t the most mature thing in the world—to be honest, it was quite disgusting—but Rowan had a gift for bringing out the worst in me.
“Oh, dear Lord,” he choked as he jerked away. “That’s awful.” I took advantage of the distraction and hurried to scoot away. Unfortunately, I wasn’t quick enough.
“Let go, Rowan!” I struggled through the pain radiating in my head. The need to escape was much stronger.
“Will you just listen?” he asked in exasperation as he pinned my back to the bed, hovering over me. I opened my mouth to give him another waft of awful, but his hand clamped over it, foiling my plan. “Please, Navie.”
“Mmph mmmhmm phmmm phummfm,” I mumbled against his palm.
“If I move my hand, you promise not to breathe on me?”
I glared.
“Ah, fuck it.” He sighed, moving his hand anyway. “What did you say?”
“I said I don’t want to hear your explanation,” I spit out, masking the hurt in my chest with anger so he wouldn’t know how deeply it had stung to see him with that woman.
“I wasn’t going to explain. I wasn’t going to make excuses. I just want to apologize.”
I had no idea how to respond to that. All I could do was lie there silently as I stared up into his icy gaze, trying not to let my emotions sweep me away.
“I’m sorry,” he said in a hushed voice.
“For what?” I croaked, needing to hear him admit to exactly what he’d done.
“For yesterday.” That was a little too vague for my liking. I was about to say as much, but he continued. “I was an asshole. I wanted to make you jealous, and I used that photographer to try and do it.”
If I hadn’t been lying down—well, pinned down—you could have knocked me over with a feather. I never thought Rowan Locklaine would apologize for his bad behavior. It went against everything I’d thought of him when we first started working together. But there was the problem. I saw different sides to the man I’d started off hating the longer I was around him. There were layers to Rowan that I never expected. It was those sides that made it impossible not to like him as I came to know him. It was those sides that had me scared to death, because I was feeling so much more for him than I should, than was safe. I was going to get hurt; there was no doubt about it, no matter how hard I fought to avoid it.
And I was so tired of being hurt. It sometimes felt like my entire life was just one painful thing after another. I wasn’t sure I’d be able to handle anything else. I was so much stronger than I used to be, but that broken, sad girl still lay deep beneath my surface. She was always with me, just waiting for the other shoe to drop.
“You wanted to hurt me?” I asked against the lump forming in my throat.
“No! God, Navie, I’m so damn sorry. It was so fucking stupid. I thought if I used her to make you jealous, you’d get…I don’t know, territorial or something.”
“So, you wanted me to get pissed off and, what? Pee on you like a dog or something? Good Lord, Rowan. Do you have any idea how ridiculous you sound right now?”
“The moment you walked out the door, I knew I’d fucked up royally. I never had any interest in her—”
I didn’t want to let myself believe him. It felt too much like throwing in the towel. “You really expect me to believe you didn’t want to sleep with her? I’m not blind. I saw how gorgeous she was.”
“You’re gorgeous.”
Angry butterflies rioted in my stomach. I felt myself growing weak and needed to do something to maintain the upper hand. With a snarky smile, I responded, “Nice line. Tell me, do you always feel the need to butter up the women you want to fuck with shallow compliments?” It was at that very moment I knew I’d gone too far.
His pale eyes grew dark and angry. The muscle in his jaw ticked as he stared me down. “Despite your flattering opinion of me, I don’t just go around the city sticking my dick in every willing woman. I don’t lie, I don’t give false hopes. I’m honest with the women I take to bed. I let them know up front that I’m not looking for anything other than a quick fuck. That isn’t what I want from you.” Clenching his eyes shut, he pulled in a deep breath before opening them once again and staring down at me intensely, like he was searching for patience. “I’m not some asshole who’s going to pursue one woman while he’s banging a handful of others. If I’m interested in a woman, whether it’s only for one night or more, she’s the only one I plan on fucking.”
I inhaled a shaky breath. “B-but, you’re not… we’re not…” I couldn’t finish that sentence for some reason.
“I’m well aware,” he responded sarcastically. “And you can’t imagine the pain a month and a half long case of blue balls can cause.”
My eyes bugged out at his admission. He hadn’t slept with anyone since… I did a quick calculation in my head. He hadn’t had sex since I started working for him. That girl on my first day had to have been the last. And just like that, he’d revealed another layer of himself.
“You hurt my feelings,” I whispered, speaking the words before giving them any thought.
His head lowered and he trailed his nose along my jaw. “I know. And you can’t imagine how much I regret that I did. I’m an idiot, Navie, but I swear to God, if you give me a fucking shot, I’ll make it right. I’ll make it good between us.”
Oh, the feels. Things were beginning to get too intense. The mood needed to be lightened. “You won’t try and make me jealous again?” I asked with a forced laugh. “Well, that’s good to know. I wouldn’t want to have to kick you in the nuts.”