There was no sting, no ache in my chest at her declaration of love for my brother. And it was at that very moment that realization came crashing down on me. I never really loved this woman. I’d been young and stupid. I was in love with the idea of being in love. It was never about her. What I felt for Navie completely eclipsed the memory of what I once thought I felt for Bree. I was completely, madly in love with her. What I had with her was something I had never experienced before. And I currently had two people standing in my apartment blocking my path to the woman I needed to get to more than I needed my next breath.
I was officially done.
Turning back to face the woman I once thought was everything to me, I felt nothing but hatred. “You’re a twisted fucking bitch,” I spit. “I’ve never hit a woman in my life, but if you don’t get the fuck out of my apartment in two seconds, I’ll be tempted to reconsider my stance on that.” Fear blanketed her face as she took a step away from me. “And you better pray I never see your face again, or so help me God, I’ll make you wish you’d never been born.”
Richard didn’t so much as spare her a glance as she stormed by him and out the door, his eyes trained firmly on me the entire time. I didn’t know what to say. My brain was muddled and weighed down by everything I’d just heard. I couldn’t gain a firm grasp on anything. “There’s a lot we need to discuss, Row.”
“Yeah.” I nodded. “I know, I just… I don’t have a clue where to start.”
“Well, first, I’m thinking you need to go find your girl and work shit out, yeah? Everything we have to say to each other will keep until then.”
Guilt and regret seeped into my bones as I stared into my brother’s face. Awareness of just how much I missed him enveloped me, leaving me chilled to the very core. I’d lost five years with the person I’d always been the closest to, all because I had been too prideful and stubborn.
As if sensing where my head was, Richard stepped forward and put a hand on my shoulder. “You’re my brother, Row. Nothing ever has or ever will change that. Go make it right with Navie. Then we’ll work on our shit. Go.”
Pulling him in to me, I held on tightly, slapping his back in a firm hug before stepping back and rushing out the door. He was right; what we had to discuss would keep. I needed to deal with getting Navie back now. Then I could work on repairing my relationship with my brother.
I hadn’t slept for shit. The image of Navie crying was pinned to the backs of my eyelids every time I closed my eyes. I called her phone too many times to count. I showed up at her apartment and sat outside her door before being removed by security with the threat of the cops being called. Normally, that wouldn’t have scared me, but running the risk of being locked up would have put a major snag in my plan to get Navie to talk to me. So begrudgingly, I left. But not before yelling through the door that I wasn’t giving up.
I texted, I called, I left voicemail after voicemail. All of which had gone unanswered. Rolling over onto my back, I scrubbed my hands along my face, trying to wipe away the dregs of exhaustion, which were clinging to me. Sunlight poured through my bedroom windows, painting everything in a beautiful golden glow that was a complete contradiction to my dark, gray mood. The clock on my bedside table glowed red, the numbers telling me it was just after seven in the morning. Would she come in to work today? Would she call in and attempt to avoid me? The only relief I felt was knowing that she’d eventually have to turn up in order to do her job.
Shoving from the bed, I walked into my bathroom to splash water on my face. The reflection staring back at me was almost unrecognizable. My skin was pale. Dark circles shadowed beneath my eyes, muting their icy blue color and making them appear dull. Stress carved every crease and line of my skin even deeper, making it look like I’d aged years overnight.
The shrill sound of my phone ringing from my bedroom brought me out of my stupor and I ran to where it lay on the nightstand, hope causing my heart to thunder in my chest.
“Navie?” I asked, not bothering to look at the screen.
“That would be a no,” the voice on the other end spoke.
My entire body slumped in defeat as I sat on the bed, rubbing my forehead with my free hand. “Lauren.” The disappointment in my voice was evident.
“Well, good morning to you, too, sunshine.”
I didn’t have the energy for our usual back and forth. I needed to shower and get dressed on the off-chance Navie came in to work. If not, I needed to prepare for hours of stalking. I had a full day ahead of me.
“Look, Lauren, I’m not in the mood right now. I need to—”
“What you need to do is shut up and listen to me, Rowan.” Her tone left no room for argument. “I have no idea what the hell happened between you and Navie, and if I’m being honest, I don’t want to know. What I want is for you to have your ass here bright and early tomorrow morning at nine a.m. so we can interview new assistants. And I know asking for sunshine and rainbows to blow out of your ass is asking for the end of world hunger, but can you at least try to come off somewhat pleasant?”
I didn’t hear a damn word she had to say after interview new assistants. Icy dread filled my veins as black began clouding the edges of my vision. “What the hell are you talking about, Lauren? I don’t need a new assistant. I already have one.”
“Seeing as Navie called me yesterday and resigned from that position, I’d say you don’t.”
“She did what?”
“Rowan, I’m just the messenger here. Navie called requesting to be moved somewhere else within the company. Considering she’s one of the best workers I’ve seen in years, I didn’t want to run the risk of losing her, so I found her another position.”
Rage and anguish coursed through my body, the toxic combination threatening to destroy me as I tried to wrap my mind around what I’d just been told.
“Where is she?” I gritted.
“Now, Rowan, you need to calm down—”
“Fuck calm! Tell me where she is!”
Silence trickled through the line for several seconds before she finally responded softly. “She’s not here, Row. We worked out the details of her new position, but she requested some time off. She refused to tell me what happened between the two of you, just said she needed to get away for a while. I gave her two weeks’ vacation.”
I couldn’t breathe. I was suffocating. “Lauren, I have to go.”
“But… tomorrow—”
“I have to go,” I cut her off. “Don’t worry about a fucking personal assistant right now. I’ll discuss it with you when I get back.”
“Wait. What? Where are you going?”
“Don’t know yet,” I answered as I pulled a suitcase from my closet. “Wherever the hell she went. I just need to find out where that is.”
A resigned sigh came through the phone. “All right. I’m not going to try and talk you out of this, but please, promise me you won’t turn this into a PR nightmare. We’re just starting to get your image cleaned up.”
“I’ll do my best,” I offered unreassuringly.
“Oh, sweet Lord. Why me?”
“You can’t be mad at me! The man practically slept out on our stoop for three nights! What did you want me to do?”
“I don’t know, Harlow,” I replied sarcastically. “Maybe call security, or the cops? Or how about not tell the asshole who broke my heart exactly where I was when I left to get away from him?” I knew I was being unfair. I wasn’t mad at Harlow, but trying to get a handle on the emotions that had been flowing through me for the past four days was proving to be a harder task than I would have thought.