She does not tremble although recently she finds herself entirely overcome by feelings
more like waves
of desolation
patterns
of anticipation.
Waiting for she knows not what she takes her clothes off.
Opens up her case.
Selects the things that she will need.
Takes out a candle.
Lights it.
I stepped through the doorway to the stately hall of statues Roman Greek an elevated grand arrangement of cracked heroes
chipped
their bodies turned in different directions
heads
the ones that had them
angled differently
the faces pointed at a variety of spots well in the distance of that limited although eternally unknowable majestic city. Their gaze was collective
fixed as by coordinated effort on a set of points beyond those parchment tinted walls. Effect of having eyeholes rather than real eyes I told myself. Their expressions possessing vacancy as well as depth each searing cold stone look was trained upon a destination far too distant formless timeless for the living seeing person even to envisage.
My first night in that hotel
If I could clarify
If I could just
I woke up put my coat on boots went out into the hallway listened
605
but I heard nothing save the distant rumble of the ice machine. I wondered what would bring a person to a place like this.
There’s something going on in there I told myself. The elevator seemingly modern but so noisy kicking into motion sent me hurrying back into my
607
clarify if I
That night although I
On that night it’s true I nodded off almost immediately. But later on I did wake up. I had a hard time pulling
Once awakened
drink of water
snacks
I could not get to sleep again. My gaze was totally unwilling to abandon that one portion of the ceiling where strange sinewy reflections had begun emerging from the areas closest to the Chinese chandelier.
This final question concerning what they knew
did not
But are you absolutely certain that they
to be asked by him as a predicted answer to the questions asked by me for
Was there
Was there
had inspired in me not just contemplation. I was getting nervous. Feeling hungry too.
I got up out of bed put on my coat my boots then
key
I stepped into the hallway listening
605
but hearing nothing I went back into my
607
water
snacks
I closed my eyes but still I saw those shimmering squiggling shapes. They seemed to spill out from the center of my mind.
Regardless of his current state or his location he began to find himself transported back into that closet looking down upon the little seamstress down below.
The child
a young man now sent off to school
as from a hovering point of view deriving from an upper corner spot
was tiny enough that she his mother who was graceful light methodically at work upon a purple gown of heavy satin with a pattern of gold peacock plumes was ignorant of his presence. He could see within the purple gown a golden wildness into which he could have dropped himself although he also saw among the golden eyes within the pattern overwhelming possibilities for not just weeping rivers but for sending out a multitudinous unyielding one eyed mesmerizing stare back at the world.
Upon a dreadful morning she had floated high upon a bridge however now she lived inside a closet dedicated to a gown that would precede another gown another gown another until one day when she was working diligently on a sheer white silk chiffon
the neckline of the bodice square in front
V shape in back
just like a story
gathering of the finest ecru lace to frame the neckline
split in two:
1. seamstress who was rescued from a railing
2. little mother drowning in the icy depths below
the bodice heavily embroidered with a silk floss goldenrod design outlined with silver thread through crystal beads the straight skirt flared just slightly at the hemline flowing into a sweeping train originating at the hip.
Perhaps it was the future that revealed itself to him all splattered across the goldenrod design traced through the skirt increasing in a heavier pattern of embellishment as it approached the
splattered on the
No mere hemline it was nothing less than an inevitable explosion of gold crystal beads among gold sparkling rhinestone studs
Not just embellishment
all splattered too.
The hip.
The hip.
Unable to endure this he would pray to be transported elsewhere.
Where?
The fact that I could check or lock my coat my suitcase tote bag everything I carried made the City Museum quite well suited to my situation. In addition to a fancy glass walls (Restaurant: Y) there was a central courtyard entered through a (Cafeteria: Y). I brought my tray into the (Outdoor Seating: Y) to eat among the families tourists locals mostly there in pairs except for elderly people who like velum cutouts flapped at times almost invisible in shifting autumn light. The galleries the corridors so crowded
everywhere
filled up
then layered over
all those faces
buried under
peeking out
I was so desperate to get out of there the whole time I was there.
Come here.
WITHIN THAT MONTH I took an unexpected course of action that although a little reckless shocking quietly it had presented itself to me as simply unavoidable. It happened three weeks in when I went home from work. Third Friday in a row when they had not shown up. As soon as I walked in I fell into a heap of sobbing on the floor. When I had managed to collect myself
Go wash your face dear.
Pull yourself together.
Get to bed lie down and try to go to
I decided I would call. Before I called them I made certain that my number was restricted from the view of anyone I called. I was not calling them for talking.
Then what are you calling for? Don’t call.
She answered. Never did she sound upset annoyed unnerved nor angry or afraid. Hello she said again. She waited as if she were listening to an incantation being spoken. As if spell had finally delivered speaker to a pause she said Hello again.
I was afflicted with a powerful sense of guilt when on that Friday night I turned to see them seated in their usual corner spot. However this new weighty burden also was invigorating to experience as if by some strange art I had succeeded in delivering them to there myself. I wondered if they knew the call had come from me. Because of how she looked at me throughout the evening I determined that she knew. I was convinced however that he did not know. Our little secret. On that night we went to their estate. I was supposed to spend the night but did not make it all the way. Still dark it was so very early in the morning when they had me driven home. Next evening I stepped on the platform looking down the line all doors all windows of the train.
Some people say that when they hear a person say that he or she had no idea that something either was about to happen or it had been going on for
for example criminal behavior
marital affairs