“Trent” I sigh.
“Maddy, you’ve always been the most gorgeous woman I’ve known.” He takes a swig of his beer propping his feet to the table. He is wearing jeans, a t-shirt and no socks. I have always found his feet so appealing. I don’t have a foot fetish but I have always found Trent sexy when he is wearing jeans barefoot. Something about his veins that stretch out over his feet up to his toes.
“Thank you Trent. You aren’t so bad yourself.” I say sipping my wine.
“I’m sorry.” He whispers taking a pull on his bottle again.
“I know, I am too.” I honestly mean it. Trent and I didn’t work out for lack of love for each other.
We both smile to each other. Trent has been my love since I was six and I don’t know how I am going to tell him his brother snuck in and took a spot too. His face is tanned and his hair a little blonder now that it’s summer. He still makes my heart drop when I see him.
“Hmm….if I didn’t know better I would guess you are checking me out.” He raises one eyebrow up. The buzzer beeps. “Funny thing Maddy…I do know better.” He leans over whispering it in my ear before going to the buzzer. Goosebumps flow across my body.
Trent comes back placing the pizza on the coffee table with another beer and the bottle of wine. I have to be careful not to drink too much so I can get home tonight. There is no chance I am spending the night here.
“Oh my god this is heaven.” I say with a mouth full of cheese and spinach.
Trent starts laughing picking a piece of cheese off my chin. “You always loved your pizza.”
“Favorite food” I exclaim smiling back at him.
“I know. Sometimes I think I know more about you than I do myself.” Trent divulges concentrating on his pizza.
“Same here. God, I don’t think there is one thing you could stump me on about you.”
“Oh you think so. You so sure about yourself huh?” He smiles over to me. “Ok, let’s start easy. Favorite Food?”
“Easy, Wings.” I say confidentially.
“Ok, Favorite Drink?”
I glance at the Amstel Light in his hand and he laughs. “But it’s actually orange Gatorade.”
“Favorite movie?”
“Reservoir Dogs with the boys but you have always been partial to Love Actually around Christmas.” He nods in agreement.
“Team?”
“All Wisconsin teams except for basketball, Chicago.”
“So far so good.”
“I could do this all night and so could you in regards to me. We have been a part of each other’s life for twenty five years Trent.”
“That’s just it Maddy. I know I fucked up but we belong together.” I blink in shock. When did this conversation go from friendly to serious?
“Trent, we tried…numerous times.” I close my eyes so I can’t see the love pouring from his eyes.
“No, you tried, I kept messing it up. I have changed Maddy, I swear.” He has now put his pizza aside fixating on me.
“Trent, I wish I had it in me to give us another shot but I can’t do it. We have always been better friends.”
“Maddy, I can’t be your friend. I miss you so much. That night you walked out on me I realized that you are the one I need in my life.”
“Trent, I have to tell you something?” I take a deep breath preparing myself to reveal my new relationship with Gabe. I fear this is going to destroy him but I have to rip the band-aid off.
“No Maddy, I don’t want you to tell me. Whatever it is keep it to yourself for tonight. I don’t want anything to ruin this. I just want it to be me and you tonight.” He scoots closer to me and I honestly can’t say I don’t want him to.
“Ok but Trent in the morning we need to talk about us. Ok?”
“Absolutely, tomorrow we will talk but tonight I just want you to put everything aside and feel.” He reaches for my hand turning the movie on with the remote in his other hand. Love Actually starts playing and he smiles down on me and I smile in return.
Trent and I sprawl out on his couch watching all the couples fall in love. I feel how close he is to me making my stomach in knots. I could reach over and kiss him like I used to when he was mine. I want to lay my head in his lap and have him massage my hair like before. The tension between us is electrifying and I know if I don’t get up soon I am going to lose any strength I have.
“Trent, I am getting tired, could you take me home now?” I sit up straighter pushing the blanket off me.
“Stay the night.”
“I can’t do that Trent.”
“No…take my bed, I’ll sleep on the couch. We’ll go to breakfast in the morning and then talk about us” he is pleading with me. This is Trent he tells me what I want to hear as long as I do what he wants me to do.
“Trent..,” I sigh.
“I promise Mad, I won’t try anything.” He crosses his finger on both hands.
“Alright.” I relinquish already exhausted from my day at Great Adventures and now this.
I say goodnight to Trent giving him a kiss on the cheek and go down the hall. I curl up in the down comforter laying my head on the goose feather pillows missing it. Trent’s smell is on the sheets. I have loved that smell my whole life. I ponder between Gabe and Trent as my body turns from restlessness to exhaustion. They have both been there my whole life. Trent more dominate in the early years but Gabe surprised me in the last five years. I love them both differently.
Gabe is so reliable and safe where Trent is fun loving and carefree. Gabe always knows when I need him and seems to put me above all else in his life. Trent is still pursuing his dream of soccer and I don’t fit in that plan. He says he changed but I’ve heard that before. Eventually I shut my eyes thinking about my perfect room so sleep will come. This is my calming mechanism when I can’t sleep. I simply close my eyes and envision my perfect living room. I transform the room from the paint on the walls to the kind of hardwood floors to throw pillows and lamps. Once I get to the pictures on the wall I am already there dreaming of my designs.
I wake up the next morning feeling more refreshed than I had all week. Stumbling into the bathroom I am reminded again of how much money Trent has. The bathroom would be any girls dream. The tub is so deep I can imagine my body wrapped around a world of bubbles until I turned into a prune.
Drifting my eyes to the sink hoping Trent has a spare toothbrush for me, I find his next to his sink along with his razor, deodorant and toothpaste. I open up his cologne bottle sitting on the counter filling my nostrils of his light and fresh scent reminding me of being curled up to his side. Telling me again how deep my history goes with him. My eyes shift over to the other vanity and there is another toothbrush and toothpaste. I see a perfume bottle and face moisturizer. I should have known I am not the only woman to be in Trent’s bed. When I go to investigate the things I am surprised to find they are all brand new.
Under more careful inspection, it is my perfume on his counter along with my favorite face wash and moisturizer next to a brand new toothbrush. I hastily open the package desperate to get the grime off my teeth. As I take the brush in small round circles around my teeth I appraise the bathroom. It resembles our New York bathroom. My stuff neatly placed around my sink while Trent’s looks like it was thrown on the counter wherever he was when he finished. I snoop in his shower to find my shampoo and conditioner along with my fruit scented body wash. Did he imagine we would pick up where we left off last night?
A rush of guilt fills me making me gasp for my breath. I spit the toothpaste out leaning on the counter I stare at myself in the mirror. How did someone so average get caught up in a love triangle between two hot brothers? Why do they want me when they could each have their pick? Lastly, how am I supposed to choose between two people who bring me such different things? Oh I wish I could just mold them together.