“Can I ask you something?” I stop laughing noting to him this is back to serious.
“Go ahead.” He nods his head to me.
“How can you forgive Mom?” I know what he is going to say so I don’t know if I am asking just to hear it or hoping he will say something else.
“It took a while. When she first went to rehab I didn’t believe it would work. I was ready to write her off especially after Dad’s funeral. She came to me about six months after rehab and asked me to attend some family counseling classes with her. I went, Linds did too and with time I guess I forgave her.”
“How come she never asked me?” I ask feeling a pain of jealously that she didn’t deem me important to go to family counseling. Am I not a part of this family?
“She knew she had a lot more to make up to you. She wanted to prove herself to you. To be honest Mad, it’s not like you were welcoming to her calling or visiting. I mean you haven’t been home since…”
“Yeah” I bite the inside of my cheek. I guess I haven’t given her room to make an effort. She did try to call me and even asked Trent if she could come out to visit us in New York but I refused.
“What she’s done.” I shake my head. “I just don’t know if I can forgive her.”
“It might take time but Maddy, she’s our mom. As much as it sucks what she put us through, she is trying to make amends, trying to be the mom we need now.” Jack is always the forgiving one. I guess that missed my gene pool. “Give it time. Try to allow her in your life and see where it goes.”
I shake my head afraid if I speak I will cry and Jack has taken more than enough time on me today.
“Are we good?” He asks.
“Yeah, thank you Jack.” I look at his matching emerald eyes thankful to have him in my life.
“Good.” He motions to the waitress for the bill. “Maddy, please call me when you have a problem. I want to be the brother you deserve as well.”
“Same goes here.” I say and we get up and hug. Somehow my body is at peace in this moment. I can’t explain it but my body feels like my own again.
“Now, I have a Bar-B-Que I have to get going.” He looks down at his watch and takes out his phone. “I’ll see you there, right?”
“Wouldn’t miss it.” I say.
He gives me a kiss on the cheek and starts jogging towards his house. How is he able to run after fries and milkshake? I turn in the opposite direction walking towards my mom’s house. I am thankful for Jack and he is right, I should accept my mom’s apology and I need to choose. Is Jack right, is there one I love more? I don’t feel like there is well, maybe. Ugh…I don’t know. Then I hear the one voice that hates me more than I hate myself over this mess.
“Madeline.” She says in disgust.
“Hello Mrs. Basso.” I respond. Could my day get any worse?
Chapter 19 – Spring Break Senior Year
Once I started back at school, time went by slow. Mackenna, Bryan and Colt always made sure I wasn’t alone. If Gabe wasn’t calling he was emailing me even Skyped me a couple times to make sure I was holding up. It took me about a month after my dad died to start going out and enjoying myself a little more. My life to that point had consisted of work and school. As much as I loved my friends concern I desperately wanted to be alone.
When spring break came around they were planning this big trip up north for stating it is our last time. I reluctantly agreed thinking I could go on long walks or read a book relaxing. I love my friends but I am still confused and it still bothers me that Trent never came to my dad’s funeral. Gabe is in constant contact with me, still begging me to come down to Florida after graduation. I need to make decisions and I desperately miss my dad. He would be the person I could talk to about this. Kenna wants to be there for me but she is biased towards Gabe. She hates Trent but that doesn’t change my feelings for him.
I came home from class early to hear Mackenna and Bryan yelling at each other. This is unusual for them. They only argue about one thing or should I say one person. My heart sinks into my stomach, what is he going to do to my life now.
“He is not going with us.” Kenna spats at Bryan.
“What was I supposed to say? He is one of my best friends.” Bryan comes back sitting at the table with his head in his hands.
“Was Bryan. He WAS one of your best friends. He WAS one of mine too but what he did to her was unforgivable. How could you forgive him after that? You saw how much it killed her when he didn’t come.” Mackenna is talking about me but where is Trent going with us. Wait…Oh Shit!
“She didn’t seem so upset in Gabe’s lap.” Bryan says.
“Bryan Jacob Edwards. She had to find comfort and he was the one there not your jackass friend.” She shouts back at him.
“Come on Kenna. You know she has feelings for Gabe.”
“Maybe…but that doesn’t excuse Trent’s actions.” She sits next to him putting her hand on her forehead in exhaustion.
“I know that but it’s hard for him too. You have to see his side of all this.”
“NO. He has no side. He made his choices. I don’t give a shit if he is trying to backtrack now. He cannot come with us.”
“Kenna, we need another person to share the cost. The cabin is costing a fortune, we need as many people as it can sleep.” Bryan has a point. I am fortunate to have my dad’s life insurance money and Kenna never has to worry but Colt, Bryan and the others are using money they should be saving. It is cost effective to have as many people as possible.
“Why does he want to come? All of a sudden, he wants to hang out with us. Why Bryan?” Kenna is still fuming.
“I don’t know. He called, asked if we had plans. I told him and he asked if he could tag along with us.”
“You’re telling her.” Kenna points at Bryan.
“No point, I heard it all.” I finally open the screen door revealing myself.
“Maddy.” Kenna sighs.
“It’s ok Kenna, Bryan is right we need as many people as possible. It’s a big enough group, I will just keep my distance.” I say walking to the stairwell.
“Are you sure Maddy?” Bryan asks. His eyes are warm with concern for me.
“Yeah, it’s fine.” I reply walking upstairs to the comfort of my bedroom. I am willing to deal with this but I have to tell Gabe and I am not so sure he will be.
Gabe and I aren’t dating but I wasn’t going to leave out the fact that Trent is coming and have him find out later. When I went home for Christmas, I stayed at Jack’s never seeing Trent. Gabe came over a couple nights but I never asked if Trent was home and he never divulged the information. Since I didn’t know how fast word would travel I decided to call Gabe right away.
“Hey, it’s me.” I say.
“Hey you. How are you doing? Getting excited about your trip?” He asks. I hear him shuffling papers behind him.
“I guess, are you busy?”
“Never for you Madgirl. You sound…not like yourself. Something wrong?” His voice etches with concern.
“Um… I don’t know how you are going to take this?” I hesitate knowing he can hear it reflecting in my voice.
“Let’s see. Hit me with it.” Gabe’s voice relaxes.
“Ok, I’m just going to spit it out.” I admit.
“Maddy…” Gabe’s stern voice trying to reassure me it will be ok but I know it won’t.
“Trent is coming with us to the cabin.” I say it so fast I don’t think he will hear it but the silence on the other end indicates he did. “He called Bryan and asked. The other guys need all the people they can get to keep the cost down. I didn’t want them to say no just because of me.” I start rambling.