“Don’t be.” He is holding me but he isn’t letting his fingers flow through my hair or rubbing my arm with his hand.
“Let’s go.” I get up brushing the dirt off myself.
“Um…ok” he says rising up as well.
I start walking down the hill with my arms across my chest.
“Mad, wait up.” He lightly jogs up behind me. “Did I say something wrong?” He pulls my arm turning me around to him.
“No” I shake my head turning around but he grabs me again not letting me go.
“Talk to me.” He brings his head down so he can see me.
“Its fine Gabe, I get it.” I finally look up and those caring concerned eyes meet mine.
“Get what?” He sounds confused.
“That you look at me differently. I know what I must seem like now.” I start to turn again but he holds me in place.
“You want to know what I see.” He asks but I don’t answer him.
“How can you be so blind Maddy?” He shakes his head back and forth. “You are the most beautiful girl I have ever met. It’s not your looks it’s you. You are strong and independent and that story that you just told me proves it to me all over again. What you had to go through shows just how much you can persevere when the odds are against you. I love you so much and I want to be with you in every way possible. I want to be there for you when you need me, reassure you of your strength when bad things happen. I want to be the reason for your smiles and laughter. I want to make you happy and feel loved. So, that story doesn’t mean shit to me except that I love you even more for what you had to go through.” He starts pacing back and forth.
“But I can’t do it anymore Maddy. I can’t keep putting myself out there for you to continue to pick him. I am starting to look like a pathetic jackass and I want someone who wants me just as much as I want them. I want someone by my side that loves me just as much. As hard as it is for me I have to walk away from you.” He stops walking stopping in front of me grabbing my hands. “I wish you and Trent happiness, I want nothing more than for you to be happy Maddy.” He squeezes my hands.
“No Gabe. I’m sorry. Please don’t do this.” I plead.
“Shh…” he puts his fingers to my lips. “Can I have one last taste?” He leans his head toward me and our lips are barely touching. “Maddy?” He wants permission so I nod my head up and down.
Once his lips hit mine I open automatically, if this is my last time kissing Gabe Basso I don’t want to waste any time. His tongue explores my lips and mouth until it finally meets mine. He is slow and gentle as both his hands rest on either side of my head keeping in place for him. He moans in my mouth and I moan in his. He licks my bottom lip right before he sucks it into his mouth but comes back to my mouth deeper and harder. I wrap my arms around his neck and it is taking everything in me not to wrap my legs around his waist. Then he pulls away from me.
“It’s late, let’s get you home.” He starts walking back towards my house. Putting my head down I follow trying to think of something to say to change his mind. I love him so much but there is another girl better for him. He needs someone a lot better than me. I am reminded by the phrase If you love them let them go. I love Gabe enough to let him out of my messed up life and find the love he deserves unfortunately with someone else.
Chapter 23 – New York
Trent and I left two days after our intimate funeral for New York. Luckily the general manager understood after Mrs. Basso called him and discussed the situation. Unfortunately, Trent was not as understanding that his mom called his new boss but she got him his signing bonus back. She was a persuasive woman.
We moved into the one bedroom apartment he had rented. It was minimally furnished with a sofa you could spring a quarter off of, end tables that were nicked and scratched. A bed that sagged a little in the middle but it was ours and it was in a nicer part of town than some kids out of college should have been able to afford. Trent was a great soccer player and they paid him well for not proving himself in the league yet.
He is supposed to practice for a month and then start up with the team. They aren’t having him travel with the team, which is great for us. We explore the city finding small restaurants and local areas to hang out. Trent goes to practice during the day and then the night is ours. We enjoy each other’s company in more ways than one.
A week after we arrived, I am laying on the couch flipping through channels when Trent walks into the room holding out his hand.
“Where are we going?” I take his hand.
“Surprise.” He says leading me into the bathroom.
“Oh Trent.” I sigh. The bathtub is filled with rose petals. There are red, yellow, pink and white petals floating on top of the water. He lit candles along the ground and sink that illuminates the small space. “It’s beautiful”
“It’s for you.” He kisses the back of my neck slowly taking the hem of my shirt and bringing it over my head.
I start shaking, Trent and I haven’t been intimate since the incident and I don’t know if I can do it.
“We will do this slow and if you want to stop just say so. I don’t want to rush you. Right now, let’s just take a bath.” He reaches around my waist unbuttoning my shorts and they fall to the floor. I am surprisingly not embarrassed being in only my bra and underwear in front of Trent.
He comes around my front and I notice his shirt is already off and he is working on his pants. Kissing my collarbone and neck, I feel his hands move to my back and my bra falls to the floor along with my shorts and shirt. “You’re so beautiful.” He whispers in my ear as his fingers hook the sides of my panties pulling them down. His body follows his hands trailing soft kisses across my stomach. “I love you Maddy” he comes back up to my lips once I step out of my panties.
I am standing there with my hands at my side unsure of what to do but giving Trent full access to my body.
“Come on, while it’s still hot.” He holds my hand as I step into the hot water.
My eyes close when the water surrounds me in a warm cocoon. I sit with my knees propped up holding my legs close to my body. Before I realize it Trent is across from me his chest wet with rose petals stuck on it.
“Relax.” He says slowly bringing my leg to him massaging my foot. “Lean back baby.” I follow his instructions leaning against the warm tub stretching my legs on top of his. He moves his legs on the outside of my hips and my hands automatically rest on his strong calves.
Trent brings out a jar of salt scrub taking one of my feet out of the water rubbing it into my foot deeply massaging the bottom with his thumb. I moan in delight. He follows suit with my other foot and then he moves down my legs and I pull away.
“It’s ok baby, just me.” I settle down again to the sound of his voice. “Every inch of you is gorgeous. How did I get so lucky?” He is giving my leg small kisses as he comes closer to me.
I swallow a hard gulp, its Trent I remind myself.
His hands move across my body like silk and a rush of arousal hits me. His fingers brush between my legs and I close them instinctively but he uses his other hand to gently open me up again. “You ok baby?” He asks and I nod still unsure. “You feel so good.” He inserts a finger in. “So wet.” He kisses my shoulder.
“Trent.” I moan.
“Yeah Baby?” He asks.
“Don’t stop, it feels so good.” I admit.
“Never.”
We stay in the bath touching and feeling each other until the water goes cold. Trent wraps me in a towel carrying me into our bedroom. More rose petals are sprawled across our bed and candles lit. He lays me on the bed bringing out a bottle of lotion. He spreads it across my legs, my stomach, my arms and lastly my breasts after he sucks on each of my nipples.