About how it might feel sleeping cradled between her sweet love gods.
She awoke first the next morning, a little after six, and took a shower and dressed. When she emerged Thomas still lay in bed, watching her dry her hair at the sink.
He met her eyes in the mirror and crooked his finger.
As helpless as she was with Tyler, she went to him, sitting on the bed.
“You okay, sugar?”
She nodded. In the light of day it felt worse. Not only the fact that she was apparently doing her damnedest to get the two men she loved to cheat on each other with her, but what a freaking way to repay their kindness and generosity.
“Then why do you look like hell?”
Nevvie closed her eyes, afraid to meet his sweet brown gaze. “Because I don’t like myself this morning. I don’t like what I’m becoming.”
“What’s that?”
“Does it matter?”
“It matters to me.”
“You two have been wonderful to me, and now I’m running around trying to seduce you.” She didn’t know how much Tyler had told him about New York.
“You do realize I have free will, right? So does Tyler.” He sat up and stretched, setting off a flutter in her nether regions. Such a gorgeous man. “Why don’t you call our boy, make sure he didn’t get murdered in his sleep, and tell him we survived the night.”
He kissed her cheek and disappeared into the bathroom.
Our boy. It fit. Despite the age difference, when the three were together it felt like they took care of Tyler in some ways.
Nearly seven, Tyler would be awake. She called from her cell and suffered another wave of guilt when Tyler pounced as soon as it rang.
“Nevvie?”
“Hi, Tyler. This is your morning wake up call.”
“What a beautiful wake up you are. Did you sleep well?”
“Yeah. You didn’t get murdered in your sleep? Thomas wanted to know.”
“I actually locked the doors last night.” He hesitated. “You sound a little off this morning. Are you all right, sweet?”
She held the phone away from her mouth and took a deep breath. Not much got past him. “Yeah, I’m okay. I swear I was a good girl.”
Tyler hesitated before answering. “I never doubted you would be.”
Guilt times one gazillion. The difference between angel and adulterer was Tyler’s phone call and maybe thirty seconds, not her or Thomas’ self-control.
She opted for humor. “I can’t promise I won’t feel him up on the way home.”
Did he chuckle? “I hope you do. Have him give me a call when he’s out of the bathroom. Talk to you later, love.”
Huh? She was still stuck on, “I hope you do.”
She dropped her voice. “Tyler, what the fu—”
“Sweetheart.” His firm, steady tone silenced her. “Do you trust me?”
She nodded, realized what she was doing. “Yeah.”
“Then trust me now. Love you.”
“Love you, too.” Stunned, Nevvie ended the call and sat on the bed. It wasn’t that they’d exchanged, “I love yous.” That was part of everyday life now, and she knew they meant it one way while she meant it another. That didn’t surprise her.
How did Tyler know Thomas was in the bathroom?
Probably the same way she instinctively knew Tyler wanted to kiss her that morning. The same way she knew he wanted to dance the cha cha cha in New York.
The same way he knew exactly when to call them last night.
She composed herself by the time Thomas emerged, showered and shirtless. And what a nice bare chest he had.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
“Nothing.”
He frowned. “Is Tyler okay?”
“Yeah, he’s fine. I’m…tired.”
“Well, hold on tight so you don’t fall off. I’ll get the ass chewing of my life if I bring you home with so much as a sunburn.”
He looked in the mirror and rubbed his face. “Dammit, I hate not having my razor.” The boys were different in this way too. Tyler was a traditionalist, but if Thomas didn’t have his electric razor he wouldn’t shave.
Nevvie grabbed the chair from beside the small table and pulled it over to the sink. “Sit.”
“What?”
“I’ll shave you.”
He sat while she got a fresh disposable razor from the pack she’d bought herself the evening before. She draped a towel around his shoulders and carefully applied shaving gel.
“You’re not gonna slit my throat for last night, are you, baby girl?”
His teasing smile made her laugh. “No, Tommy, I wouldn’t do that to one of my boys. If I can shave my legs every day without lopping off an ankle, I think your chin won’t be any trouble at all.”
She carefully shaved him, trying to ignore how his eyes followed hers, looking at her as if wanting her to meet his gaze. His big, sweet eyes softened his rugged face. Where Tyler’s face was gentler, more rounded, Tom’s was longer and leaner, like his body.
When she finished she ran her fingers over his cheek. “All done.”
He rinsed and looked in the mirror. “Damn, you did good, baby girl.” He looked at her. “Your boys, hmm? I like that.”
She looked away, but he caught her arm and pulled her to him. “Please, Nevvie,” he said. “It’ll be okay.” He kissed her on the forehead and held her for a long moment before finally releasing her.
They ate breakfast and packed their few extras into the saddlebags. When she swung onto the bike behind Thomas, she put her arms around him. He grabbed her hand, placed it between his legs, and squeezed.
Too shocked to react, Nevvie felt him laughing and he leaned back. “Thought we should get that outta the way now so you don’t make me wreck on 75.”
She finally choked out a laugh. He patted her arm as she slid her hands back to their usual position.
This was too much. Not that she minded the flirting, but this ratcheting up of the sexual overtures was killing her.
She had time to contemplate on the ride north. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to flirt and play with them like that, but the empty feeling of going to bed alone wasn’t worth it. Sure one—hell, both—would sleep in her bed if she had nightmares or if the situation called for it.
Sleep being the operative word.
How many years could she do this? Be the frustrated straight girl in a house with two gorgeous gay guys who were determined to keep her libido on a high simmer despite not doing anything about it. Screw their appeals to trust them.
They were so good to her. She couldn’t complain how they treated her. Yet the guilt that she wanted more, wanted what she couldn’t have ate away at her like a cancer. Guilt that she was willing to put her needs over their relationship.
They’d been on the road for an hour and she needed to pull over. She tapped Thomas and he took the next exit. While he topped off the bike at the gas station, Nevvie locked herself in the restroom.
Damn what a mess. She’d desperately fallen in love with two men she could never have, no matter what stupid illusions she held or mysterious innuendos they fed her to keep her spirits alive.
Wasn’t that all they were? Tyler was a master at reading people. She’d been with them long enough to see that. Throw in their special connection, and it would be totally in the realm of possibility that he was simply trying to cheer her up, not realizing it killed her one wink at a time. And her encounter with Thomas, well, it probably just the adrenaline rush of the fight.
They. Are. Gay.
She donned her helmet before Thomas saw she’d been crying. He put a hand on her shoulder.
“Sugar, you feel all right?”
She nodded, swinging up behind him. “I’m tired. Let’s go.”
The house smelled good. Tyler’s slow-cooker dinner was already in full stew when they arrived home a little after one. She avoided Tyler’s eyes on her way to her bedroom, shutting the door behind her.