“Piper, do you doubt me?”
I hear the shuffling of his body on the sheets, but I’m too chicken to look up. They have a way of luring me do things I don’t want to, and I need to find out this answer now.
“Answer the question.” I allow my voice to be monotone, trying like hell to show indifference, although it’s pointless.
He knows full well how much I care for him. How could he not?
“Come here.”
I finally pick up my head, and see his hand is held out for me to take.
“No.”
“Come. Here.”
I shake my head.
“Why?”
This time, I look up and stare into those soft concerned eyes. “You’ll convince me that she’s no one, and I’ll weaken.”
“I make you weak? I didn’t know I contained a power like that. I’m a superhero, and I didn’t even know it.” He looks at both his palms, examining them, and then chuckles. “Get your ass over here.”
“Tell me who she is first,” I demand, standing up but keeping my feet firm on the floor.
“Do me a favor. Can you call my phone really quick?” He grabs his phone from the rolling cart.
“No. Why?”
“Just do it for me.”
“My number appearing on your phone won’t erase her name.” During this whole exchange, my heart breaks piece by piece.
“Piper, I’m pleading. We have maybe fifteen minutes, and I need to touch you, to kiss you.”
“I’m not going to be one of the many in a string of girls, Tanner. You want me to tell my brother, but how can I when other girls are getting your attention?”
“Jesus, Piper!” he yells. “Come sit next to me, and call my damn phone.” His fist slams on the mattress. Then his shoulders relax and he tilts his head. “Please.”
He shoots me that melting wink, so I’ll forgive him for his anger.
Standing right next to him lying in the bed, I cross my arms against my chest, but he grabs my hand and yanks me down. I topple down to the bed, and he laughs.
“Now, pick up your phone and call me.”
I pull my phone out and scan through the contacts until I press on his name. “Tell me.” I sit up as straight as I can, showing indifference at his demanding behavior. “I’m not about to press the Call button until you tell me who she is.”
I cross my legs and scoot away, but his hand slides between my legs, and goose bumps engulf my body.
“She’s this girl I’ve been seeing recently.”
There went my heart. I’m waiting for the, But you’re the one for me, and I’ve been trying to end it.
“I didn’t expect it to happen, Piper. I swear, I tried to stay away, but she was too powerful for my willpower.”
My heart shatters to the ground. The phone drops to the bed, and my vision begins to blur, but I push it back. I refuse to allow him to witness how much he’s hurting me.
Then, his phone rings, and I shake my head.
“I gotta go.” I pick up my phone and see it’s calling Tanner.
When I look up, he’s smiling, holding up his phone. The name Ashley appears, and my lips begin to form a smile even though I try to force it to stop.
He clicks the green button, accepting my call, and places the phone to his ear. “Talk.”
He nods to my phone, and a swallow before holding it up to my ear.
“I need your advice because I think I’ve fallen in love with her, and it’s a foreign feeling for me,” he speaks into his phone as he stares at me.
This time, the tears forming are from happiness. I bite my lip and study his face.
“Oh, no. I fear the lip bite means you are trying to think of an excuse to let me off easy.”
I put my phone down on the table and sit on the bed.
He places his phone next to me, and I take a deep breath.
“Tan”—I grab his hand, playing with his fingers—“don’t say it if you have any doubt,” I beg. My outsides hold up while my insides want to crumble to the ground, begging him not to break me.
“Oh, baby, I’m not the one with doubts here.” He releases my hand, and his hand travels up my arm until his palm molds against my cheek. “I was covering our bases in case you ever called when your brother was around. Now . . . kiss me.”
He lightly chuckles, and I bend down to meet his lips. With the warmth of his mouth on mine, I push back the insecure obsession that I’m not enough for him in the long-term. If he wins the marathon and obtains me, he might toss the gold medal aside for a new conquest. Instead, I enjoy the moment with him, allowing his love to shelter me.
Pressing gently, we hold our lips together for a while before moving. His tongue snakes out and requests permission to enter. Unable to ever hold out when it comes to Tanner, I open and sink into his hold. Our tongues entwine as his hand moves to the back of my head. As always, I’m lost in the realm of lust with Tanner, but now, it’s matched with a promise of love.
As our mouths close, he pecks my sore lips one more time. “Believe me, Piper. I love you.”
My eyes close at his disclosure, and I muster every ounce of strength I have to open them. “I love you, too,” I confess.
A sly grin sneaks across his face. “I know you do.” Then, he pulls me to him again, a little more aggressive and demanding this time.
eight
WHY AM I NERVOUS?
I shake my arms at my sides and bounce up and down on the concrete floor. Blowing a long deep breath out, I divert my gaze anywhere but the stands. Tanner has seen me swim for years, but this time, he’s a boyfriend watching his girlfriend. With him being out for the season, from screwing up his back by speeding home, he doesn’t have much to do these days. Even though it’s a compliment that he was rushing back to me, I wish he had taken his time.
With his abundance of free time¸ I’m his new favorite thing to do. He comes to my swim meets when the men’s team doesn’t have a race. He escorts me to class and sometimes waits for me after. Obviously, there are reasons for us being together outside of my apartment. It allows us to sneak around. In public, our hands stay tucked in our pockets, and we constantly make sure to coincidentally bump into each other. These past few weeks, I’ve barely slept from the amount of caffeine I jolt my system with to keep up my stamina for him.
“You ready?”
Bea comes up next to me, and I nod.
“Aw . . . relax. It’s just the hottest guy in Michigan staring at your ass.”
I quickly twist around, resulting in me facing the stands.
“Didn’t you realize you were offering him a great view of your ass?” Her laugh echoes through the entire pool house.
“No!” I screech. “I need to calm down. Why are my nerves so frazzled?”
“Because of what I just mentioned—the hot guy up in the stands who’s fixated on you.”
She bends down, touching her toes, as I take my arms straight out, crossing and uncrossing them in front of me.
“It might actually calm you if you look.”
I take her advice and wish I hadn’t because Tanner is currently talking to a group of three girls, and I have no idea who they are. I’m assuming they’re from the opposing school.
“Bad advice,” I mumble.
Bea’s head shoots up to the stands. “Oh, please. Are you jealous of a couple of girls? You’re not one of those types.”
She sits down on the cement floor, and I follow suit. Taking each other’s hands, we teeter back and forth, warming up our backs.
“It’s hard, ya know? I hate this insecurity when it comes to him. It’s a part of myself I never thought existed until now.”
I’m truthful with her because the fear of him cheating on me keeps me up at night. Staring at him while he’s lying next to me, I’ve fretted that we’re one party away from him finding someone who piques his interest more.
“Piper, you’ve always been more than secure in yourself. What gives?”
I wait for a teammate to pass by before beginning to talk, “Sara.”