“Nope,” he says.
Sue calls us over, and I drop my hand from his.
“Until tonight, Piper.”
“Yeah, tonight,” I mumble to myself, watching Tanner’s back retreat over to the kids.
I change my clothes, and when I walk out to the commons area outside the racquetball courts, I find Tanner signing a bunch of pictures of himself. His hair still wet, he smiles at each kid in line, asking for their names while writing a unique note to each one.
He watches me walk toward Curtis, who’s fiddling with his phone.
“Hey,” I say.
He doesn’t look up. “What a waste. I can’t believe he tricked me into actually volunteering.”
I lean in close to whisper in his ear, “Lower your voice. It was a nice thing to do.”
“You know how much time I wasted here? Do you know how many cases I should have been researching for the firm instead of being here?” He’s angry.
Nick walks by us, giving Curtis the evil eye.
“Jeez, Curtis, give it a rest.” I fold my arms over my chest and see Tanner intently staring over at us. “I’m sure the firm survived.”
Curtis shoves his phone in his pocket. “Do you even get the point? I need to prove myself to my dad and my brother. That means anything I’m not doing there is considered a waste.”
I inch back from him. “Including me? Am I too much of a disruption for you?”
I cock my head, and he steps forward to me.
“God, no. You know what I mean. Money would have helped these kids much more than an afternoon with me.”
He’s failed to see what I did this afternoon. Then again, he probably didn’t do much of anything the whole time.
Douche! Nick mouths to me from across the room.
I hope the kid didn’t hear too much of my conversation with Curtis.
“Let’s go.” I grab Curtis’s arm, forcefully moving him toward the door.
I look at Tanner and point to the stairs, signaling that we’ll meet him outside. He nods with a pissed off look splashed on his face.
Nick steps in front of us, blocking us from leaving. “You’d better treat her right.”
“What?” Curtis asks with disdain in his voice.
“Otherwise, she’ll leave you—for me.” He laughs and begins walking away.
“The nerve of—” Curtis begins.
“He’s going to make a great boyfriend,” I interrupt.
Nick winks.
What? Did Tanner show the kid all his moves?
When I turn around, Tanner’s rolling in laughter, holding up his hand for Nick to slap it.
“That kid’s got a mouth,” Curtis remarks.
I don’t say anything as I usher us to the stairs.
sixteen
I DRIVE TO DOWNTOWN MARLOWE and park. Instead of rushing out, I stay seated in my car. With my keys clasped in my hand on my lap, I focus on the gazebo, wondering if all the lies I said to get here was worth it. Curtis thinks I’m with Bea, and my mom thinks I’m with Curtis. It could explode in my face if one of them figures out I’m with Tanner tonight. I’m taking a giant leap of faith in him, and I can’t for the life of me explain why.
The memories of two years ago haunt me every night along with the thought that I screwed with my future when I ran. Should I forgive him for what he did and allow myself to forget? How can I not be with him for the rest of my life? Am I fooling myself with Curtis?
A loud knock on the window startles me.
Tanner is standing on the other side, dressed in a pressed button-down shirt and gray pants. He opens my door, and I sneak out before allowing him to shut it.
“You look gorgeous, as always,” he compliments me.
I nod. His hand reaches for mine, but I cross my arms.
“Not a date,” I remind him.
He smiles. “Yet.”
“Never.”
“Hey.” He patiently waits for me to face him. “I really want this to be a nice dinner.” His eyes bore into mine, his sadness evident. “Not to mention, I owe you a steak dinner.”
“Carsen’s?” I ask, remembering back to when our first date was cut short because of our parents’ impromptu appearance. “You didn’t have to bring me here.”
I follow him up to the sidewalk, as he gives me some personal space. My vision drift up to his, and I swear, from the look of desire seething in his eyes, I’m back to that spring night our senior year.
“Yeah, I did.” He holds his hand out for me to take.
When our fingers entwine, he squeezes my hand, and it all fits. Somehow, on this sidewalk, I’m right where I’m supposed to be—with Tanner’s hand in mine.
We’re seated at the exact same table from two years ago, facing the window. We laugh thinking back to when we had to sneak out from our parents’ view. Tanner orders us a bottle of wine, which the waiter struggles to open. Awkwardness fills the air.
“So, you want to talk?” I ask him, eager to get the conversation out in the open.
“Do you mind if you get your steak first? You know I don’t want to try to buy you this meal a third time.”
He chuckles, and I smile.
“Sure.” I stare out the window, unnerved from the sense of his eyes on me.
“God, Piper, you’re beautiful,” he mumbles.
Heat flushes my face.
“I’ve missed you.”
My heart melts with his words. I’m happy that I’ve been on his mind on more than one occasion. I remain quiet, so he stops talking. I’m not sure he knows the effect his declaration has on me.
I want to tell him how often he’s crossed my mind. There’s not a night I fall asleep where I don’t wish he were next to me or one morning I don’t remember what his body felt like curled behind mine. The regret of never running after him haunts me. I’ve secretly looked up pictures of him, wondering if he’s crawling into bed with another girl or screwing a girl in the back of some club. Most of all, I’ve wondered what he just declared—if he has thought of me.
The waiter comes over and we order our meals. This time, I don’t shy away from the filet.
After the waiter leaves the table, Tanner begins talking again, “What do you see in Curtis?”
His question is innocent, but at the moment, I have no answer. There’s no judging or jealousy in his tone, which makes it harder to remember what I do see in Curtis.
“He treats me good.”
He does, but it’s just in a different way than Tanner did.
“That’s all I’ve hoped for you. If, after tonight, nothing changes, I’ll be happy because you’re happy.”
I don’t mention that I’m not sure I could live forever with Curtis. Or that I’m almost positive, our relationship will end shortly.
“I know I’ve given him a hard time, but I want to make sure his feelings are genuine.”
“Why would they not be?” I tilt my head to the side.
He shrugs. “I’m not saying they aren’t. Just watch yourself. That’s all.”
“No girls back in Colorado?” I change the subject to him because talking about Curtis while my body’s pulling to Tanner tonight makes me feel guilty.
“I have no time.” He takes a sip of wine and looks out the window.
“Oh.”
“That’s a lie. I have the time to date if I wanted to. The truth is, I’m not over you, and it would be unfair to the next girl if I started something.”
He might as well take the steak knife, stab my chest, and grab my heart because it belongs in his hands after that sentence.
“Tanner,” I sigh for the second time today.
“Tan,” he corrects me. “Please, Piper. I hate when you call me Tanner. You haven’t called me by my full name since grade school.”
“We can’t just go back like nothing happened.”
The waiter places our plates in front of us. The smell of the red meat, baked potatoes, and steamed broccoli leaves my mouth watering. But after all this talk with Tanner, I’m not sure I can stomach one bite.
I cut a small piece of steak and slip it off the fork and into my mouth. It melts, the peppery season flavoring it as I chew.