He smiles, but I don’t. He scoots closer to me, but I slide an inch away, only for him to break the barrier again.
“I was pissed, Piper, but I saw my best friend’s desperation, the despair in his eyes, because he stripped away his future with one dumb move. With my back, I was out for the season. I thought for sure that I’d get a slap on the wrist, and I was right. Coach hid it because it was me. If it were Brad, Coach would have nailed him to the wall. As much as I hate what it did to us, I stand by my decision in that moment. It turned out the best way it could for all of us.”
His hand reaches for mine, but I yank it back.
“No, it didn’t turn out the best for all of us, Tanner. It crushed me. I lost all belief in guys. You . . .” I turn my head and watch a young couple, maybe in high school, sneaking kisses on a bench under a tree. They’re so trusting of their newfound love, and I’m envious of them.
“What?” he whispers.
I flip around to look right at him, so he sees the tears filling my eyes. “You broke my heart that day.”
“Piper,” he sighs, wrapping his arm around my shoulders.
My throat constricts, my nose tingles, and water builds in my eyes. As I bury my head into his chest, the tears trickle down my cheeks.
“I’m sorry.”
His simple words won’t fix the shattering his secret caused.
“If it helps, I broke my own heart that same day. You want to know why I haven’t been in a relationship since us?”
He nudges me off his chest, taking my head in his hands, and I look up at him.
“Because no one is you. I tried after a while, but I compared each and every one of them to you.” Mesmerized by the love pouring out of him, I wish he’d bend down and kiss me.
“Your words help me feel better.” My lips turn a little at the corners. “But I have Curtis now.” I look away.
His eyes fall, and he takes a deep breath. “I know. Your brother said nothing about him to me. Can I blame him though? He didn’t know about us. It threw me when I found out you were with someone else. A part of me hoped you were the same as me, that maybe you couldn’t move on either.”
He clasps his hands, resting his forearms on his legs, as he watches the same couple I was just looking at. The girl is now giggling at something the guy said, and his eyes light up a flicker more with every escape of laughter from her lips.
“I possessed an enormous amount of anger. In one flash, you went from my hero to a disgusting piece of crap. It was hard to wrap my head around it. The longer time went on, with you never coming home, the more my mind assumed things.” This time, I lightly place my hand on his leg.
He doesn’t miss a beat before his hand is covering mine, pressing down on his thigh.
“I want another shot, Piper. There’s no way you love Curtis.” His voice is low but still alludes to his confidence.
“Why do you say that?” I ask, allowing his fingers to thread through mine.
“I see it, for one. Your body doesn’t respond to him like it does with me. Take right now as an example. You’ve gone from yanking your hand away from me to it resting on my thigh with my hand holding it there. I’ve watched you and Curtis over the past few days. It’s different.” He turns his head, so he can judge my reaction to his words. “Am I wrong?”
His eyebrows rise, and I can’t fight him on his observation. He’s right. If he’s a mile away from me, somehow, my body knows, and he draws me to him like a damn magnet.
“It’s a different time. We were young and hiding our relationship two years ago. I’m not the same, and it’s just different.”
He tightens my hand in his, and a line of shivers shoot up my back.
“I don’t think so, but I’m not going to push you.”
“What do you mean?”
“When you come to me, it has to be on your terms, without me convincing you. Otherwise, I’ll always question why you came back. So, leave here tonight, Piper.” His hand grazes up my arm at a painfully slow pace.
Once his palm cups my cheek, my head falls into his grip.
“Think about it, and decide what you want. But know this. I’ll be right next door, lying in my bed while I’m thinking about you, wanting you, loving you.”
My body sinks into the wooden bench, but his fingers press to keep me up. I straighten out, and his hand moves down, his thumb grazing against my lips.
“I’ll imagine kissing these lips”—his fingers travel down my neck—“this neck.” Just when the nerves are on high alert to his next touch, his hand drops. “I’ll leave the rest to your imagination.”
Grabbing my hand, he rises to his feet. He silently escorts me to my car. I follow, trying to remember that I have a boyfriend. With each step, I fight the urge to jump into Tanner’s arms and beg him to take me home.
Once we’re outside my car, he presses me against the door. His fingers thread through my hair with his thumb rubbing up and down my cheek. He bends down, and I think this is it. I’ll at least kiss him. My body tenses, and his lips run along the side of my face as his hand grips my neck.
“Just think about it,” he whispers. He kisses my forehead before he backs up.
I stand there, numb and full of want and desire for the man retreating to his car. He never turns around to give me one glance back. I wait for him to start his car, back out of the spot, and drive away.
Fumbling for my keys after he leaves, I quickly get into my car and sit there, absorbing everything that unfolded.
How do I just trust him again? He lied to me. Even though it was for my brother’s sake, it was a deceit, and I’m not sure I can forget it.
Then, an enormous rage at my brother rises through my veins. Damn him. It’s about time he fesses up.
seventeen
I PULL INTO MY PARENT’S driveway, noticing Tanner’s car isn’t in his driveway next door. Then, I see the car I want to see—Brad’s black FJ Cruiser parked under the basketball hoop. Parking alongside of him, I fly out of my car, stomping through the garage into the house.
“Brad!” I yell.
My mom turns the corner. “Piper? What’s the matter?”
She’s concerned, but I breeze right by her.
“I need to find Brad.”
My mom grabs my arm as I pass her, stopping me.
“You need to calm down. Bayli’s parents are here,” she whispers.
Did I have tunnel vision and not notice their Mercedes? Shaking my head, I stand still next to my mom, and she drops her hand.
“It’s between us.” I can’t disrespect my mom or make a scene in front of Bayli’s parents.
As though he knows, Brad appears through the archway. “What?”
The three of us stand there, in the small hallway outside the laundry room.
“You!” I point at him.
Mom’s hands press down in the air. “Lower your voice,” she demands.
Brad’s eyes widen. “Where were you just now?” he asks.
I raise my eyebrows.
“Shit.” He shakes his head. “Just wait, Pipe. Bayli’s parents are leaving soon, and then we’ll talk, okay?” He steps up, and he places his hands on my shoulders.
My rage dissipates slightly from his touch.
“Five minutes, Brad,” I relent.
He nods. “Five minutes,” he repeats.
Mom’s head flips from him to me, unclear as to what’s going on. Thankfully, she’s used to our twin antics, but she won’t let this go for long. She’ll ask me what this is all about when the time is right.
“Piper, go in there and say hello to the Tweedles.” She lightly taps my back, urging me to do as she said.
Brad steps back, and I narrow my eyes as I walk into the family room. Once I enter the room, Bayli’s obnoxious laugh mixes with her dad’s booming voice, and I cringe.
“Piper, dear.” Her mom stands. She’s an older version of Bayli—attractive, dressed to the nines with every piece of jewelry on. She wraps her arms around my shoulders, pulling me into her, practically giving me whiplash.