the keys.
As I played, I felt that every word, every note was meant for Ryan and Ryan alone. I hoped that when he closed his eyes he did think of me, and if
he needed me all he had to do was call out my name. There was no explanation for my overwhelming feelings - I was drawn to him like a moth to a
flame.
For a brief moment, our eyes met from across the room. Ryan was the only one I wanted to look at. He had the most glorious smile on his face
as he stood to watch me play. I pushed the keys with extra force, wishing that he could realize that this song was for him.
To my amazement, I received a standing ovation when I finished. I felt the heat rise to my cheeks as the embarrassment washed over me. I
briefly covered my face with my hands. I looked over at Ryan again; he was still standing and clapping with a huge smile on his face, his head slowly
shaking back and forth.
I politely thanked everyone and quickly turned the microphone off. There was no way I’d do another song. Pete was standing by the front door,
clapping frantically. His cheers were definitely the loudest.
“Miss Taryn Mitchell everyone!” Frank yelled into the microphone. I took a brief bow and quickly stepped off the stage.
It was hard to walk back to the bar through the thick crowd. Hands I didn’t know touched me and patted me on the back and people were in my
face complimenting me. It was a very uncomfortable feeling and for a moment I wondered if this was how Ryan felt all the time.
I walked right past Ryan, even though he was smiling from ear to ear. I tried to return the smile but I was too flustered to even look at him. He
reached for me but I didn’t stop. I was almost at a run when I ducked into my stairwell; I just needed a moment to calm down and get my nerves in
check.
I only made it up four steps before crashing down to put my head in my hands. My heart was about to burst out of my chest and it was hard to
breathe.
My eyes shot up when I heard my stairwell door open. Ryan slipped around the corner and shut the door quickly behind him. He was smiling and
laughing lightly to himself as he stood there staring at me.
“Is this what it’s like for you?” I asked, covering my heart with my hand to slow the pounding.
“Well, that depends,” he said. “Are you referring to the extreme embarrassment or the full out panic attacks?”
I just nodded and gasped in a few deep breaths of air.
“Either way… yeah!” He nodded.
“Hey, come here.” Ryan reached out to me, taking my hands in his. He pulled me into a nice hug, wrapping his strong arms gently around my
shoulders.
“You were absolutely breathtaking up there,” he whispered, reassuring me. “You have nothing to be embarrassed about.”
His hand held my head to his chest and he softly kissed my hair; it felt confusingly natural to hold him. I clasped my hands together around his
waist and pressed my face deeper into his chest. The soft scent of his skin was like an aphrodisiac, making me crave him even more.
I closed my eyes and felt my heart rate slowly coming down while he ran his hand over my back to sooth me.
“It’s okay, sweetheart. Just breathe with me,” he said softly.
Chapter 6 - Respite
“I have off on Sunday and Monday and I’d really like to see you… that is if you don’t already have plans with one of your admirers,” Ryan teased.
I noted the tone of sarcasm in his voice.
I smirked at him. Apparently I wasn’t the only one slightly jealous. “Don’t be ridiculous.”
“Me?” he sounded shocked.
“Yeah, you! Like you have any room to talk!”
He frowned at me.
“Well anyway…” He leaned up on the stairwell wall. “I was wondering if you and I can go do something together.”
I sat back down on the steps. As much as I wanted to refuse him and protect myself I no longer had the will to do so. I couldn’t deny this powerful
attraction to him any longer. “What did you have in mind?”
“Anything,” he breathed out desperately. “I just need to get away.” He lightly tapped his head back into the wall.
“I don’t have any plans,” I willingly admitted. “Monday night is poker, but you already know that.”
“Yeah, speaking of which, I’d like an opportunity to win some of my money back.”
“Sure. I’d be happy to take all of your chips this time!” I snickered.
A few moments of silence passed. I just stared at the scuff on my shoe, trying to calm myself and banish the confusion he was reaping in my
mind. Ryan appeared deep in thought.
“Huh,” he sighed. His eyes glanced up the stairs.
“What?” I looked over my shoulder to see what he was looking at.
“Nothing,” he said, shaking his head. “I was just thinking about the last time I was in this stairwell. I was in a lot worse shape than you were a few
minutes ago.”
He made me laugh. “Perfect place for panic attacks then, huh?”
“I was actually thinking that it’s more of a gateway to peace. Insanity out there…” He motioned to the door. “Respite in here,” he stated firmly.
“Are you ready for more insanity yet?” He reached out his hand and pulled me up from my step. “You can’t hide in here forever.”
I groaned. “No, I like respite better.” A big sigh escaped my lungs. “I’m glad you came tonight.”
“Me too,” he said gently, looking me in my eyes. His fingers stroked my cheek. “Just think, I could have missed your stellar performance and
your private panic attack all in one night!”
“Don’t be an ass!” I attempted to poke him in the rib with my finger but he caught my hand in his. The touch of his hand on mine did strange
things to my heart.
“Come on, sweetheart.” He motioned with his head, leading me to the door. “Insanity is waiting.”
I slipped out the door first. Ryan stayed behind for a few minutes so we wouldn’t cause too much of a stir appearing from the same place
together.
One of his security team was standing guard right outside the stairwell door, doing a good job earning his keep.
I resumed my spot behind the bar and was greeted by Marie and Tammy, who were grinning from ear to ear at me.
“So am I fired or am I getting a raise?” Marie kidded.
“You were spectacular up there!” Tammy gushed. She gave me a quick hug.
I rolled my eyes, smiled at them both, and went back to business tending bar.
It was almost one thirty in the morning when my cell phone vibrated in my pocket; Ryan was texting me from the booth.
“too many eyes watching I will call u tomorrow”
“ok ru filming?” He was watching me type back to him.
“yeah all day n night too maybe til 1am?” He typed with a frown on his lips.
“I will b here” I typed.
“think about where to go Sunday please”
“I will”
“Promise?” He was staring at me now.
I looked over at him, smiled, and crossed my heart.
Ryan shoved his phone back into his coat.
I watched him head for the door; his security had him flanked. The second he stepped out into his personal rendition of insanity, I could hear
women screaming and see the flash of cameras illuminating the dark street.
I spent a good portion of Saturday morning trying to come up with ideas of where to go on Sunday. It wasn’t like I could take him anywhere in
public without causing a scene. I wondered what other celebrities did for fun. I’d seen plenty of pictures of famous stars out and about doing normal
things like trying to get a lousy cup of coffee or having lunch. The simple fact that I saw pictures of them doing those ordinary things made me
realize that there are few things they could do without being followed.
I remembered the words that Ryan had muttered under his breath that first day I met him: “the things we take for granted.” I knew now what he