My fingers trailed down his chest to his stomach; his body quivered lightly under my touch. I could feel that he was completely aroused.
I was getting too carried away in the moment; a few minutes more of this and there’d be no turning back. Doubt, fear, crept into my thoughts,
quelling ecstasy and desire. I placed my flat hand on his chest and lightly pushed back away from him; I needed a moment to catch my breath. I
rubbed my eyes as the sensible person who lives in my brain spoke up.
“Taryn, I understand. I want you so bad, but I don’t want to do anything you’re not ready to do,” Ryan whispered.
I had no will left. My body craved to feel him - all of him. My thoughts wrestled with that desire as all the warning bells went off in my head.
He wrapped his fingers around my wrist and moved my hand away from my eyes. “Talk to me. Tell me what’s on your mind.”
“I’m worried.” I shrugged, trying like hell not to appear like an immature, neurotic mess. My words came out in a whisper.
“What are you worried about?”
I took a deep breath and sighed.
“I know you’re not…” I murmured, stopping myself. “I don’t do casual very well. Sex for me involves emotions and in reality… you’re not going to
be here for much longer.” The words were difficult to say.
“Look at me. Please... look in my eyes,” he softly pleaded.
I turned to gaze back at him. His eyes were captivating.
“If you haven’t noticed, I’m pretty crazy about you. You’re all I think about,” he said as he brushed his fingertips on my cheek. “You’re not the only
one making an emotional investment here.
“I know why you’re worried, Taryn.” He took in a deep breath. “I’m not here to use you or to hurt you. You have to understand - it’s not easy for me
to have any kind of relationship, despite what people think. It’s difficult for me to keep a private life or to trust anyone. One of my old girlfriends sold
our relationship to the tabloids for money.”
He looked away, wincing from the unpleasant memory. “After that, well, let’s just say it’s been a while since I’ve been this emotionally close with
anyone.”
He looked back into my eyes. “Believe me when I say that random one-nighters are not my style. That’s all I need, for stuff like that to be in print
too.”“
I guess we’re two kindred spirits then,” I said.
“What do you mean?” He looked at me for an explanation.
“You don’t trust women and I don’t trust men.”
“Huh,” he breathed out. “So why don’t you trust men?”
“I was… involved with someone a few months ago, too,” I said hesitantly. I didn’t want to accidentally say the scary word “engaged” out loud
fearing that Ryan might run if he thinks I only have marriage on the brain.
“Let’s just say that one woman wasn’t enough for him.” I pursed my lips from the thought. “Anyway, sounds like we’ve both had our fair share of
pain to deal with.”
“Yeah, but the difference is that your heartaches aren’t front-page news printed on the cover of millions of magazines,” he huffed as he ran his
fingers back through his hair. “And you don’t need a Publicist when you break up with someone.”
I sat up on my elbow and rested my hand on his chest. “Ryan, I care about you, a lot. I guess that’s why I’m hesitant to jump into this – because
we both need to be able to trust each other. But I promise, no matter what happens between us, I will never, ever, betray you.”
I stared into his dark eyes. “Inside here is compassion and tenderness and I see a beautiful soul who deserves to be loved. I can only hope that
you trust me enough now to believe me when I say I would never do anything to hurt you.”
He rubbed my arm gently and then placed his hand on mine as it rested on his chest. A smile appeared on his face.
“I know.” Ryan took a deep breath and looked me in the eyes. “My life has been turned up-side-down these last few years. I feel like I’ve been
living in this chaotic existence. But when I’m with you, I… I feel strangely at peace. I feel like I can trust you with my secrets. And you have something
that no one else has. When I look at you,” his eyes held my gaze, “you take my breath away.”
His words momentarily took my breath away.
“Taryn, I’m fa…” He stopped to bite his lip and sighed, swallowing hard. “I care about you too – so much more than I think you realize. I’ve been
trying to take this slow for a reason, you know… trying not to rush it. But being with you is just so easy and natural, and I’m pretty sure you feel the
same way.”
“Yes, I do,” I breathed out, amazed that we both felt so deeply for each other.
“I can’t help the way I feel and I don’t want to hold back these feelings any longer.”
“Neither do I,” I whispered.
Ryan gently smiled. “Taryn, every time I’m away from you, I can’t wait to see you again. I just want to be with you.” His fingers swept the hair out
of my eyes.
At that moment, I felt every fiber of my soul want to take the huge leap of faith. I was already falling in love with him, and to hear his confession of
his feelings made my decision easier to make. No matter what happens from this point forward, it was too late to worry or regret. My body hummed
with desire for his touch.
I leaned over and softly kissed him. His fingers tangled in my hair and I felt his hunger for me. Gently he rolled me onto my back; his eyes
opened and locked onto mine.
“Are you sure? ‘Cause I want you more than air right now,” he sighed.
I reached up and pulled his face back to mine.
“Make love to me,” I murmured on his lips. “Please,” I begged.
Our mouths melted together. He wasn’t in a hurry; he kissed me slowly, sensually. I could sense that he was going to make love to me, not just
have sex with me.
Ryan slid his hand underneath my shirt as he kissed me. He pulled my shirt up and I helped him remove it from my body. Without taking his eyes
off of me, he wadded my top up in his hands and tossed it across the room behind him.
He trailed his fingertips down my neck, stimulating my senses, slowly cupping my breast in his hand. A powerful jolt of arousal shocked into my
belly as his lips moved from my mouth to my breast. My entire body tingled; could he possibly know how good that felt to me? My fingers combed
into his hair and I pressed his face into my body just a bit harder.
My eyes closed and I sank into the pure pleasure of his tongue on my skin. I ran my hands lightly from his hair to his shoulders, moaning from his
touch.
I pulled his face back to mine, hungry for him. His hand slid down my back and his fingers entered the space between my skin and panties. A
playful growl slipped up his throat when he squeezed my rear.
Ryan hooked the top of my panties with his thumb, peeling them away. I slowly wiggled, curling my legs onto his as he pulled them down and off
my body. They also got tossed onto the floor. He ran his strong hand slowly over my body; from my breast to my stomach; from my hip to my thigh.
He trailed his fingertips up the inside of my leg, driving me a bit closer to insanity. I gasped and shuddered under his touch. His long fingers
toyed with me, stimulating all the right spots. I was so aroused I felt like I could explode.
I slid my fingers under his elastic waistband and used my forearm to push the cotton that separated us down on his hip. My hand clasped around
him and stroked while he moaned in my mouth as we kissed.
He broke away from our mutual pleasure and removed his boxers. We lay there on our sides facing each other, completely free of clothing, as
open and vulnerable as one could ever be with another human being.
Ryan reached up and carefully cupped my face in his hand. He didn’t kiss me; he just rubbed his thumb on my cheek and over my lips as he