“No!” he fired quickly and shuddered from the thought. “How the hell am I supposed to look at them tomorrow? That’s my mom and dad!”
“Well at least you know that when you get to be your father’s age, you’ll still be… um… active!” I giggled.
Ryan covered his eyes with his hands. “They’re my parents, Taryn! They’re not supposed to… I don’t want to think about them doing that kind of
stuff.”
“Just as much as they don’t want to think about you doing that kind of stuff?” I shouldn’t have teased him. “Oh, Honey! Do you want to watch
some television?”
“I’m gonna need fucking therapy after this weekend,” he muttered.
He was totally freaked out and our moment was now ruined by his mental torment. There was no way he was going to sleep tonight either. I
knew him well enough to know how he dwells on things.
Time to create a distraction. I got out of bed and started to change.
“Where are you going?” he asked.
“Beach,” I answered coyly, pulling his sweatshirt down over my naked body.
“Good morning!” I greeted his mother in the kitchen. She was primped with all her hair sprayed into permanent position. Not a single hair was out of
place. She returned my smile with one of her own. We both had our secret reasons for smiling; just mine wasn’t as loud as hers was last night.
I had a hard time looking at his father though with a straight face. Visuals of Bill getting all up in Ellen last night was almost comical. The four of
us stood in the kitchen in uncomfortable silence; eyes glanced back and forth from face to face over cups of coffee. Ryan looked like he was in
pain. I couldn’t stand the silence any longer.
“Ellen, there’s a few antique stores I was thinking about going to today while the men are out on the lake. How does that sound?”
“Sounds wonderful! We can go wherever you want.” I think she would have been content to go anywhere that involved looking at stuff on shelves.
I patted Ryan’s stomach. “I’m going to make some breakfast first so you have fuel in your tank to catch all those fish today.”
He smiled and gave me a soft kiss.
It didn’t take long to drive to the big, red barn filled with local antiques. I was relieved that Ellen and I got along so well. She wasn’t the probing,
busybody type; not like some of the mothers of my past boyfriends.
Along the way, we talked about what she does to manage Bill’s dental office; it sounded a lot like what I have to do to manage the bar, minus
dealing with all the insurance claims. It was comforting to know that we could relate to each other beyond the fact that I was dating her son.
Being around Ellen was like having a mother and a friend all wrapped up in one. She reminded me of just how much I missed having my mom
around.
“I want to get Ryan a birthday present while we are here, but I never know what to buy him anymore. He’s been traveling so much; anything we
buy him just ends up in our basement,” Ellen said, flipping over the price tag on an old dry sink.
“I know. I was thinking about what I could get him too. His birthday is less than three weeks away. He had mentioned about getting hockey
tickets, but I’m not sure what his schedule is like. I only seem to know week by week what he’s up to.”
A thought amused her. “Ryan told us you’re a Pittsburgh fan. It’s like Heaven made you just for him!”
I laughed uncomfortably at her comment. “I don’t know about that but I’m glad you think so. I truly do love your son. I just want to make him happy.”
“Hearing you say that thrills me beyond words!” She squeezed me quickly around the shoulders with her one arm. “I was so worried that he’d
end up with the wrong girl one day. I’m so relieved that he’s made the perfect choice. And to tell you the truth, I’m glad your picture is on the cover of
those magazines with him. It kills me every time I hear the media pairing him up with that Suzanne.”
“I gather you don’t like her,” I said, hoping she’d explain why she felt that way.
“No, not really. I’ve tried to warm up to her but…” Ellen shuddered. “She only cares about herself. She thinks the world revolves around her.”
Ellen looked at me intensely. “I don’t know if you know this yet or not, but she has a thing for my son. Ryan, thank God, doesn’t feel the same
way. I was so worried that he might fall for someone like her though, considering how many actresses he gets to meet and has to work with. I feared
that one of them might end up being my daughter-in-law one day.”
My mind drifted from her comments. I could easily see myself being his wife and the mother of his children, just like a normal husband and wife,
but if I end up being his wife, then what? What would I do to keep myself busy and productive? Do I live out of a suitcase too, following him around
the globe? Living off of him like some pathetic freeloader? Was I even movie star wife material?
What could I do for a living to assure I was a contributing partner in a globe-trotting marriage? Heck, I struggled with the decision of closing the
bar this weekend. How the hell will I be able to have a long-standing relationship with a man who is never in one place for very long?
Another movie, another distant location, another sexy lead actress for sure. While I’m distracted picking out tile patterns for the bathroom, could
some well-known vixen get to be the recipient of the next condom in his pack?
No matter which way I envisioned it, all paths ended up with me losing him. The world was unfolding on a silver platter to him, just like Suzanne
had said. The parties to come… all the women… temptation all around.
Inside I was a partial wreck.
“Taryn? Are you all right?” Ellen noticed my mental absence.
Unconsciously I shook my head. I wasn’t all right. My internal monologue came pouring out of my quivering lips.
“At first I didn’t want to get involved with your son because he was a celebrity. Then we just spent time together and I got to know him for who he
truly is. That’s who I fell in love with. I hope you believe me when I tell you that I’m not with him because he’s famous. And I don’t want his money
either.
“He’s a beautiful, caring, loving person and I love him so much. I’ve never felt this way about anyone. And I know he loves me. But I’m so scared.
There are so many women out there, all desiring him. It’s not like we’re going to have a normal life, ever. It’s hard enough to have a normal
relationship let alone have your relationship be analyzed and ripped apart by the world.
“He’s always going to be traveling and away for months at a time.
“What do I do? What if I’m not enough? What if we’re not strong enough?” My chest started to feel tight. I had been holding all these thoughts in
for so long, never talking about them with anyone – not even my closest friends, and now they all came bubbling to the surface.
His mother moved to face me and looked me right in the eyes.
“Taryn, I don’t think you give yourself enough credit. I have never heard Ryan talk about another girl the way he does about you. He didn’t think it
would ever be possible to find true love after he became famous, and he has found that in you. You!” She said in a stern voice as she tugged at my
wrist.
“Let him love you, Taryn. That's all he wants. I know this can be stressful, having such a public relationship, but you need to stay true to each
other and you will work through all of your fears. The two of you will figure it out. And don’t be afraid to talk to him about anything either. You have to
be open with each other if you want any marriage to survive.” Ellen touched my cheek.
“I know. I am trying. I love him with all my heart.”