“You need to leave.”
“And, how do you plan on making me do that?” he asks, leaning back against the door.
“I don’t have to make you. You’re good at leaving all on your own,” I say, my choice of words a reminder of everything I’ve been trying to forget.
He steps toward me.
I step back.
We repeat in rhythm until my back hits the wall. “I need you to stay away from me.” My voice shakes as my heart beats against its shield.
His right forearm rests against the wall, caging me in. “I didn’t have a choice.”
“We all have choices.”
“You wouldn’t be with him right now if I’d stayed. Admit that much.”
His body isn’t touching mine, but I can feel its warmth. It’s driving me insane. “But you didn’t stay, and what we had … it doesn’t matter anymore. It’s part of the past—a broken past—and you can’t fix it.”
He stares down at me with the familiar eyes—the ones I fell so hard for. I remember some of the good times, and I begin to melt … the tears start to form. You don’t forget love. You can fall out of it, but you never forget it.
“I don’t want to fix it,” he finally says, leaning in a little closer. I smell the mint on his breath and have to turn my head to gain back some of my control. “I want to build something new. If I can’t have you the way I want to, I’d rather be your friend than nothing at all.”
“I can’t trust you.”
“I can’t live without you.”
“I’m not yours.”
He sighs, using his index finger to turn my face back toward him. “I said friends, Lila. That’s all I’m asking for.”
“I’m not changing my concept.”
He smiles for the first time since I’ve seen him this week. “See, that’s the good part about being friends. Friends compromise.”
“But,” I say, forming my own smile. “You’re the one who needs to gain my trust. I think you need to bend a little more. Show me how serious you are.”
He laughs. “There’s my Lemon Drop. God, I’ve missed you.”
My smile falters as I slip out of the cage he’s had me in. “You can’t do that,” I say, my hand firmly on the doorknob. “You can’t bring up the past. It—”
“Stings. I know, Lila. I fucked up, and there’s not a minute that goes by that I don’t remember the look on your face when I walked out of the apartment that night. There’s not a minute that goes by that I don’t wish I’d done everything differently. They always say you don’t know what you have until it’s gone, but I knew what I had, and I didn’t think I deserved it. I’m sorry, Lila. You may not want to believe me, but I’ll live with my regret for the rest of my life.”
There’s so much I want to say, but this isn’t the time or the place. “I need to go,” I say quietly. “Pierce is probably looking for me.”
He doesn’t say a word as I open the door and walk out of it. I’m in such a rush to get back to the conference room before Blake catches up to me that I almost don’t see Pierce leaning against the wall outside the bathroom. Paralyzed by the look on his face, I can only watch as he slowly walks toward me. Without a word, he grabs my hand and pulls me with him.
We pass the conference room.
We pass the receptionist, only stopping to push the button on the elevator.
My eyes follow the lines that separate the travertine tile, anything to keep them away from his. The tension between us is so thick; as much as I want to get out of here, I’m not necessarily looking forward to being alone with him. There so much we need to talk about.
He uses his grip on my hand to pull me into the elevator behind him. My shoulder brushes his, and I smell his faint cologne.
I’d give anything for him to push me up against the elevator wall and explore every inch of my body until he was all I thought about … until pleasure trumped my sadness and frustration.
But that’s not what’s going to happen … not this time. The elevator door opens, and I’m pulled out of the building and tucked into our waiting car.
I feel him slide in beside me as I stare out the window, holding my eyes open to dry up any remaining sign of tears.
“What happened in there?” he finally asks when the car pulls away from the curb.
“He followed me in. I guess he thought we had some unfinished business that needed to be tended to,” I answer without looking in his direction.
“Look at me.”
I hesitate for a second then realize no reasonable amount of time is going to wash away my puffy eyes and the grimace that comes with it.
His eyebrows draw together as he looks at me. He takes a deep breath and runs his knuckles up and down my bare arm. “Did he hurt you?”
I shake my head vehemently. “No, he would never hurt me—or anyone—not like that.”
“What unfinished business did he feel you had to take care of in the women’s bathroom?”
Everything, I think to myself. “He wants to work on the project together, and he didn’t want anything from the past to affect that.”
His fingers move up, caressing my cheek. “I don’t like the thought of you alone with him.”
“I can handle him.”
He wraps his arm around my shoulders, pulling me into his body. “We can quit the project. I don’t need it.”
“No, I’ve worked hard on it, and I want to do it.”
“Then, I’ll just make sure I’m with you.”
“But you hate him.”
“I guess I love you more than I hate him.”
“I love you, too,” I say, some of the fog finally lifting. My love for Pierce is the only thing keeping me from making what would be the second worst decision in my life. The first was letting myself fall for Blake in the first place.
I FIDGET WITH MY PURSE straps as Pierce pulls in front of my apartment building. Between the meeting and the flight home and all the drama in between, I’d rather not have company tonight.
“I’ll walk you up,” he says, unbuckling my seatbelt.
I smile, thinking of all the things this man does right. “Where did you learn to be such a gentleman?”
“I guess you could say my mother taught me well. Although, I don’t think I was such a gentleman on the flight home. The stars heard you screaming my name.”
He carries my bag on the way up to my apartment and waits patiently as I fiddle with the lock. With any luck, I’ll be able to throw come pajamas on and curl up under my covers with my own thoughts within the next few minutes.
“So I guess I’ll see you at the office tomorrow?” I ask, slipping my heels off.
He grips my hips. “Are you sure you don’t want me to stay?”
“Not tonight,” I reply, wrapping my arms around his neck. “I need some time to clear my mind, and I’m sure your bed is much more comfortable than mine.”
“Do you want to find out tomorrow? I’ll cook you dinner.”
“Are you sure you’re real?”
“The way my heart is beating right now, I’d say I am.”
It’s not easy to let him go, but we’ve spent almost every minute together the last few days and I need to catch my breath.
“Night, Pierce.”
“Night. Call me if you need anything or if you just want to talk or if you want me to come over.” He smirks.
I return his smile, standing on my toes to kiss his lips one last time before he disappears down the hallway.
Sleep comes easier than I thought it would. I guess that’s what happens when you ride the emotional roller coaster for three straight days.
The smell of bacon hits me before my eyes open to the morning sun showing through my curtains. Mallory hates bacon, and she’s still in Europe supposedly.
Curious, I crawl out of bed and make my way to the kitchen. The scene reminds me of a morning six months ago except this time, a shirtless Blake reminds me of lemon drops and paint and heartbreak.