I slip my heels on with only a few minutes to spare before I have to be at the train stop. God only knows where my mind will venture to on today’s ride.
Blake stands in the kitchen making breakfast like he always does. I wrap my arms around his bare stomach, resting my cheek against his back. “I hope you’re only cooking for one. I have to get going.”
“You need to start eating better,” he remarks, covering my hand with his.
“I’ll grab something on the way in.”
“Here,” he says, handing me a smoothie. “Start with this.”
I take a slow sip. It’s my favorite—strawberry banana. “That’s just what I needed.”
“I know.” He grins, a single dimple forming.
“I need to go,” I say, looking at the clock on the microwave. After picking up my bag from the chair, I kiss him one last time before heading out the door.
Love is complicated, and in its best form, it’s unspoken. It shows in the things we do, not what we say.
Blake may not say he loves me, but his gestures tell me everything I need to know.
Not surprisingly, Reece is waiting at my desk when I get to the office.
“You couldn’t wait, could you?” I say, setting my things on my desk.
“My life is boring.”
“Find yourself a boyfriend.”
She sighs. “I’ve tried, but no one compares to my book boyfriends so I’m just going to stick with them for a while.”
“There are certain things book boyfriends can’t do for you.” Kissing. Sex. Orgasms. Conversation … I guess that’s important, too.
“I know,” she groans. “It’s just my excuse until I find a guy.”
I can’t help but smile as I take in her bright green shift dress with white polka dots. Her thick-rimmed black glasses top it off perfectly. Somewhere in this office is a guy who thinks about her late at night when he lies in his empty bed.
“You’ll find him.”
“So, back to the whole reason I walked all the way over here … what happened after you left Charlie’s last night?”
I give her the short, condensed version, leaving out the part about the little black box. Her mouth gapes. Mine probably would, too.
Her expression is pained as I finish. “Are you sure you made the right decision?”
“Yes,” I answer with no hesitation.
“I can’t keep up. Your life is like a tennis match, I swear.”
“The game is over now.” I smile, feeling in a better place than I have been in months.
She backs away a couple steps. “Is it too early to ask if your leftovers are off limits?”
“Reece!”
Raising her hands, she says, “You can’t blame a girl for asking. Not that I’m his type.”
“Give yourself some credit.”
She walks away in a huff. “I’ll work on it while I continue to live vicariously.”
I shake my head, quickly getting lost in the re-dos for the hotel project. For whatever reason, what has happened over the past few days has shown me that I have the strength to get through anything.
This project is mine to either exceed or fail in. I’m not going to let myself fail.
The train ride home seems like an eternity. My eyes were glued to the clock all afternoon, waiting for the time when I could make my way back home to Blake. There’s still so much we haven’t worked through.
It’s no surprise, but I didn’t hear a word from Pierce all day. It’s not surprising that he needs his space, but I still want to know that he’s doing okay. I know how it feels to be on that end of things, and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone … especially him.
My phone vibrates.
Mallory: Can you talk?
Lila: You’re still up?????
Mallory: Obviously. Can you talk or not?
Lila: Y
My phone rings five seconds later. I accept, not bothering to even see who it is first.
“Hey,” she says, sounding slightly panicked.
“What’s up? You should be in bed.”
“I talked to my brother earlier. He was chipper.”
My lips curl, thinking about the way he was this morning.
“What happened?” she asks when there’s nothing but silence on my end.
“I realized that no matter how much better for me Pierce may be, I’d always love Blake. Always be in love with Blake.”
She sighs heavily. I picture what she must look like—hair pulled up, glasses on, frustrated as hell. “He hasn’t worked through all his crap yet, Lila, and I don’t want to see you get hurt. He deserves someone like you after everything he’s been through, but I don’t think this is the right time. Go slow and tread carefully.”
“I understand him better now, and I’m not going to let him push me away. I want to help him because that’s what you do when you love someone.”
“What about Pierce?”
“I was never going to be able to give my whole heart to him. Blake’s hold on it is too strong, and he wasn’t ever going to let it go.”
“I hope this works for both of you. I really do,” she says, her voice fading away.
“There’s no other option for me.” I pause, staring out my window as the train comes to a stop in my neighborhood. “You sound tired. Why don’t you get some sleep, and I’ll give you a call in a couple days to give you an update. In the meantime, don’t worry. If we both try, even just a little bit—everything will be okay.”
“Okay, I’m not going to worry about it, but you better call if you need anything. I mean it.”
“You’re almost as bossy as your brother.”
She laughs. “That’s not possible, and you know it.”
“Okay, you’re right. My train just stopped so I’m going to let you go.”
“I’m about to drift off anyway.”
“Night, Mallory.”
“Good luck.”
THE WALK TO MY APARTMENT doesn’t take long, and when I stand in front of my door realizing it’s locked, my heart sinks into my stomach. He said he’d be here when I got home.
I dig my key from my purse, unlocking the door quickly. The scene before me takes my breath away. Candles line the kitchen counter and the center of the kitchen table. Rose petals create a path from the doorway to my bedroom. I follow the path of white petals all the way to my bathroom where I hear water running. Blake sits on the edge of the claw foot tub, his fingers testing the water.
A few steps, and I’m standing in front of him, my fingers brushing through his hair. “What’s all this for?”
His chin rests against my chest, his deep eyes staring up at me. “Just proving to you that you made the right choice.”
“I didn’t know you were such a romantic.”
“I’m not. This is just something a guy should do when he has some making up to do.”
“Thank you.”
“Why don’t you get in? I’m going to cook you dinner.”
Those three words we have yet to say want to slip from my lips, but I hold them back. He’s not ready to hear them.
Bending down, I kiss his lips before he has a chance to walk away. When he’s gone, I quickly undress and slip into the water, soaking in the smell of lavender while being covered in rose petals. The only thing that would make this better is a glass of wine.
I sink in further until the water covers my shoulders. The door creaks open, and Blake walks in with a glass of red. Maybe our souls are so connected he can read my mind. “How did you know I wanted this?”
He shrugs. “I know you well enough, I guess. Dinner will be done in about fifteen minutes.”
“Are you sure you don’t want to climb in here with me?”
“It’s tempting, but our dinner would burn, and I need you to eat so you have energy for what I have planned for you.”