“I would never hurt you, Hilary,” Jayden said after a few minutes. “Ever.”
I nodded into my knees as a small sob escaped my lips.
“He deserved it and so much worse,” Jayden said, his voice now belonging to him.
I didn’t say anything as he stood in front of me with his door open, watching Randy leave. I looked up briefly and saw the flash of pain cover his face as Randy threw his key on the floor at Jayden’s feet before leaving.
I was too emotional to form a sentence, so I waited a few minutes as Jayden looked down at me. Our eyes met and I stood up.
“Is Gerri home?”
“No,” I said through a snot-filled nose.
“Take the bed. I’ll take the couch.”
“I’ll be fine,” I said, picking up my bag.
“Please, just stay here tonight. When I know where he’s landed, I’ll feel better. I don’t think he would do anything, but I guess you really never know people.” I nodded as he grabbed a pillow off his bed and walked out the door.
I stood in the shower for the second time, wiping off the now dried blood and sucking it up. I’d acted like a cry baby, when in truth Randy did deserve it. But I had never witnessed anything like that and I couldn’t deny it shook me to my core. I finished my shower and threw on one of Jay’s large t-shirts that swallowed me and dove into bed. I was crying quietly a few minutes later when Jayden slipped into bed behind me.
“I’m sorry, baby. I didn’t mean to yell at you, I swear.” I nodded as I broke down with a quiet sob. He turned me over on my back, forcing my face to his. “I’m sorry, baby. Please don’t cry. I didn’t mean it.” I cried harder because of how much I loved him, how much I knew his friend had just hurt him.
“I’m okay,” I hiccupped.
“I should have taken him outside to deal with him. You shouldn’t have had to see that. I just couldn’t handle it when I saw him in the doorway looking at you. I fucking lost it.”
“I... .” I hiccupped again. “I get it, I totally do. I don’t know why I can’t stop crying,” I said, taking a breath.
“I scared you,” he said, remorse apparent as he wiped my tears away. “I don’t want you afraid of me. I would never hurt you, baby, I swear. I’d hurt me before I ever hurt you. And I hate that he saw you like that. It fucking kills me.”
He leaned in, kissing me gently. “This body is mine, you know? Or at least I want it to be. I never want another man looking at you like that.” His soothing whisper set me at ease, and when I was finally able to talk without baited breath, I kissed him and turned on my side. “It’s getting late, we both have work. Let’s just try to sleep.”
“Okay, baby, I’m going to go walk Trip.” I nodded as he kissed my shoulder and let me go. An hour later, I was still staring at his bedside clock when I felt his arms around me. I relaxed into him as I drifted off.
I woke up the next morning to an empty bed. I realized I’d only slept for a few hours but knew it was pointless. My alarm would be going off in an hour so I decided to swim early. Finding the apartment empty, I began to worry about Jayden. I shot him a text stating where I would be as I made my way to the pool. I froze at the gate when I saw him in a lounge chair staring off into space. I opened the gate and walked over to him. The sun was barely peeking over the horizon and the morning was looking as bleak as last night. It was only when I was standing in front of him that Jayden acknowledged me.
“Did you sleep at all?” I asked as he looked up at me.
“No,” he replied, low. He was looking right at me, but seemed to be looking past me as he asked, “Did I fuck us up? Did I lose you?” His eyes were rimmed with red, not tearful, but mournful. He’d honestly thought he’d lost me.
I climbed into his lap and he quickly gathered me close to him as I wrapped the towel I was holding around us, looking down at him. “Of course not, Jayden. Is that why you are out here?”
“I couldn’t even let you leave my apartment last night because I was more afraid you wouldn’t come back than I was of what Randy might do.” He wiped his face, seemingly frustrated as he continued. “I don’t leave my house often because of shit like that. I’m too afraid of what I might do, what my reactions will be if shit goes wrong. Sometimes I can’t control it, so I go out of my way to avoid it. I’m fucked up, Hilary.”
“Jay—”
He cut me off with his gaze as he looked up at me, more vulnerable than I’d ever seen him. “I’m in love with you, Hilary. I’m totally and completely in love with you and I have been for a while.”
Still raw with emotion, I let my tears fall. “I love you too, Jayden.”
He let out a long breath as I towered over him, raising his hands and running his fingers through my hair before bringing my mouth to his. “You do?” he asked sweetly as I nodded. “So much.”
He crushed his mouth to mine as I wrapped myself in his kiss. When our tender lip lock turned hungry, he pulled away. “Let’s go inside.”
Still wrapped in a towel, I pushed him back against the chair then pulled down his shorts, letting his hard length spring free as I stroked it with my hand. Before he could object, I pulled my swim bottoms to the side and took him inside me slowly, inch by delicious inch. We both gasped at the feeling as Jayden looked around us cautiously before returning his gaze back up to me, eyes blazing. The world was still asleep as he began to move in perfect rhythm. “I could never lose you, baby. Not you,” he croaked out, sounding desperate as I covered him in me. I leaned forward, taking his mouth. “You won’t, Jayden, I promise.”
With his deep blue eyes bloodshot from lack of sleep, morning stubble rough against my hand, and his mouth parted, he’d never looked more beautiful. He lifted me up, pushing his shorts down further and burying himself inside me, wrapping his arms around my waist and murmuring into my chest.
“I love you, Jayden,” I repeated as he feathered kisses over my neck, his throbbing cock stealing the rest of my words away. I came minutes later as he looked up at me.
“Come here,” he whispered before taking my mouth and thrusting his tongue in, keeping rhythm with his hips. He was greedy for more as he circled and pushed deeper, and I rode out another orgasm, gripping his shoulders. He looked up at me as he came, giving me his noises, his expression, and I knew then I would never love anyone else the same.
Two weeks later, I found myself at the dinner table with Alexis and Jayden. Shortly after our bad night with Randy, our world resumed as if it had never happened. I could sense Jay’s melancholy at the loss of his friend, but he refused to talk about it. In truth, that night had brought us closer together as a couple. Each time he whispered he loved me, I felt nothing but elated.
I’d fallen so far, so fast for him, but my fear of getting hurt no longer existed. My heart was carefree, had already accepted the gift given. Jayden still took special care to court me in an old school manner by putting actual pen to paper, leaving me reminders of his love all over the apartment. Most of them were borrowed lyrics from songs he loved, some of them were sexual, and some were nagging reminders for things like putting the lid back on the toothpaste, which always earned him an eye roll.