"Come in." I heard her say.
When I stepped into the room, she looked even frailer than she did earlier. Her skin more yellowed and there were now dark circles under her eyes. "Is there anything that I can get for you, mom?" I walked over and sat on the side of the bed where she was propped up on two pillows, thumbing through an old tabloid magazine. The kind of magazine you buy from the racks closest to the register.
"I really like Peyton," she announced as she stared down at a picture in the magazine. "So much better than this one," she said, tapping her finger on the page. I looked down to see whom she was referring to. It was a picture of Nina and me taken at an after-party; right after the band hit it big. I quickly found out that Nina was a fame whore. She'd attached herself to the next hottest thing if she thought it would get her somewhere. She wanted to get into modeling and she used anyone she thought could help get her there. She's a beautiful woman, I'd give her that, but her heart was as black as they came. Nina loved no one but Nina.
"I love Peyton, Mom," I admitted.
"I can tell." She looked up at me and smiled weakly.
I smiled back and asked curiously, "How could you tell?"
"I see it in your eyes, the way the two of you look at each other. It's as if the sun rises and sets within each other. I can feel the love and energy flowing between you two, when you're in the same room. It's the same kind of love that your father and I had." That made me smile, but broke my heart at the same time.
"Mom, there's something I need to talk to you about." She folded the old magazine and laid it on the nightstand beside the bed. My stomach knotted and I felt as if I was going to vomit, but we needed to have this talk. "I spoke with your doctor. I'm sorry for not asking your permission, but I love you and I just wanted to be sure that everything was being done that could be done." I said. Her expression changed and tears filled her eyes. "I'm sorry!" I was quick to say again, but she held up her hand a clear indication for me to stop talking.
"So you know how bad it is, then." I nodded in admission and my heart broke a little. "Son, I'm sorry that I didn't tell you the whole truth earlier, but I didn't want to see the look of heartbreak that I'm seeing right now. I guess even though, they told me there's nothing to be done and that chemo wouldn't work, I still wanted to try. I wanted to try for you." She placed her cold hand on top of mine where it rested on the bedside.
"I can understand that mom and part of me wants to be selfish and say, "Take all the treatments that you can, in hopes there is some miracle. I want to keep you around as long as I can, but at what risk? The chemo is making your symptoms worse. It's going to wear your body down sooner than later and make you feel worse than you should. I'm telling you that I'm okay with whatever you choose to do. If you want the treatments, I'm behind you one hundred percent or if you want to stop the treatments and take the medicine prescribed to keep ease your pain and keep you comfortable, I'm okay with that to." I gripped her hand and watched as my mom's face changed to one of peace. She looked me in the eye, and said something I only thought I was prepared to hear. Boy, was I wrong.
"I'm ready to go be with your dad. I've missed him for so long. It's time for us to be together again," she said and gripped my hand a little tighter. “I'm going to call the doctor and ask that they send hospice out and that they should cancel my chemo treatments. I know you're hurting Levi, but I can die peacefully knowing that you have someone who loves you very much." She smiled up at me with tears in her eyes. "I hope that you two will have days filled with love and laughter, like the ones I had with your dad. Promise me that you won't let her get away," she demanded. "She loves you with her whole heart. Trust me."
"I promise," I said, fighting back my tears. I couldn't believe my mom just told me that she was ready to die. I was not okay with that. I. Was. Not. Okay. With. That. "You just rest, I'll make the calls for you." I stood, bent at the waist, and kissed her forehead. She nodded her head and closed her eyes to rest. I stepped from the room and closed the door behind me.
I walked into the kitchen, where I found Peyton sitting, drinking a glass of water. She looked up at me with such tenderness and understanding in her eyes. My mom had never been more right. Peyton did love me with her whole heart and it shone through, loud and clear. I pulled my cell from my back pocket and made the calls, I said that I'd make. By the time I'd made the last one, Peyton was across the room and had me wrapped in her arms. I hugged her tight. We stood there wrapped in one another in total silence, because no words were needed between us. Our hearts were doing all the talking.
Peyton
One Week Later
"Jinx, It's Peyton. I have some bad news." I sniffled through the phone. "Levi's mom passed in the night, last night," I told him.
"I'll call everyone and we'll be there soon." he said and hung up. That's the way it was with Jinx. He was a man of few words, but he got things done. No wonder he'd been running things by himself for the past couple of years. And just as he'd promised, an hour later, I answered the door to find four band members and Honesty standing on the front steps of Levi's, Mom's home.
"How is he?" Jinx asked, sitting his duffle beside the entry door.
"He's quiet. He's not really saying much. I've tried talking with him, but, he . . ." I just shrugged, because I really didn't know what else to say.
"It's okay honey." Honesty wrapped her arms around my neck and gave me a comforting squeeze. "He's just going to need time and all you can do is be there for him, even if it's just being in the same room for him. Trust me. I went through something similar, with a cousin of mine. He'll talk when he feels like it. Right now he's just trying to process everything," she assured me.
"Have you called security?" Chance asked, from where he stood across the room.
"Security?"
"Yeah, we’re gonna need it. Once the paparazzi get wind that his mom's passed, they'll swarm this place.”
I frowned. “Oh, darn! I hadn't even thought about that.”
"Don't worry about it. I'll give them a call and they'll send some people out." Chance pulled his cell from the front pocket of his faded jeans and began to speak immediately. I guessed being in their position; they had to have them on speed dial.
Jinx headed up the stairs to Levi's room while Honesty, Honor, and I headed to the kitchen to make some sandwiches. I probably wouldn't be able to get him to eat, but I needed to try. He was going to need his strength for the days to come.
"They're out there," Honor said, from where she stood at one of the kitchen windows. I looked her way and she tilted her head for me to look. I walked over and stood beside her, sure enough there were photographers with long zoom lens, standing at the edge of the property. I flew through the kitchen and living room, closing all the curtains and blinds. It was a damn shame that they couldn't let people morn in private. Did they have to plaster every detail of their lives across the pages of magazines or social media? Of course they did. "That's what happens when you live in the public eye." I remember Levi telling me that after being photographed pulling out of his garage at home. He had said, "Even though I live in a secured neighborhood, there's always someone lurking around the corner with a camera or phone, looking to make a fast buck for a glimpse of one of the band members. Chance and Linc suddenly stood and I turned to see why. Jinx walked down the stairs followed by Levi. His hair was sticking up everywhere and his five o'clock shadow was taking over his handsome face. I stood on tiptoes, and placed a warm kiss on his stubbly cheek.