"We made sandwiches, come eat something." I grabbed his hand and tried to steer him toward the kitchen.
"Why is it so fucking dark in here?" he growled, and let go of my hand. He stalked over to the curtains in the room and flung them open. In the distance, you could see the flash of cameras going off. "Who the fuck do they think they are?" He swore, stormed to the door, and flung it open. He thundered out onto the damp grass with his bare feet. "You're a bunch of fucking vultures! Have you no respect? My mom died this morning and all you can think about is selling a picture?" Jinx and Linc were at his side trying to persuade him, unsuccessfully, to come back inside and ignore the photographers. "Well, here I am. I'm fucking grieving, my heart is broken into a million pieces, and I hope you get your damn picture." He flung his arms open wide as the flashes continued from a distance. Jinx and Linc grabbed his arms and physically hauled him back into the house.
"Levi, man, come on, let's grab a sandwich and talk. You need to fill us in on the plans," Jinx told him. I grabbed the plates from the china cabinet while Honesty placed the platter of sandwiches in the center of the table. Levi filled everyone in on what he'd been doing in his room all morning. He'd made the funeral arrangements, called the cemetery, and even picked out the dress that his mother was to be buried in. He did all of this without me. Why? I wanted to ask why he didn't let me help, but he was radiating something that I'd never felt before from him. Anger. So, I decided to let it go and move forward. The funeral was scheduled for tomorrow afternoon with a graveside service. The words he spoke next, shocked us all.
"I'll be back in the studio Monday, and then we have the fundraiser Saturday, and from there . . ."
"Levi, you do realize today is Friday. You're gonna need some time . . ." He turned his stormy blue eyes on me, eyes so cold; they sent a shiver down my spine, and not the good kind of shiver.
"Peyton, I'm well aware that today is Friday and that tomorrow, I'll put my mom in the ground, next to my dad. I don't need anyone babying me. I'm twenty-six fucking years old and I full well, know what I need. So, if you don't mind," he stared at me for a long few seconds—almost as if he were daring me to speak. I could practically feel myself shrink in my chair.
"Dude, calm the fuck down. She's only trying to help," Chance said, looking back and forth between Levi and me. Honor reached out and placed her small hand on my arm in an attempt to comfort me, but there was nothing in this moment that was going to help with that. I was sitting here helpless watching the man I loved deal with the loss of his mother and he wouldn't let me help him. I guess it was true that everyone dealt with grief in his or her own way. I just hoped we made it through this, because if this were any other circumstance, I'd have already taken my shoe off and thrown it at his head.
The next morning, I slipped into the black dress and heels that Honesty was kind enough to bring me and headed across the hall in search of Levi. I stopped just outside his door when I heard music coming from his room. It wasn't just any music. He was playing his guitar and singing softly. His voice was beautiful, soft, smooth, and angelic. I slowly cracked the door open and I could see him sitting in a chair with his back to the door and his guitar resting on his knee. He was singing about love and loss, heartbreak and sorrow. The lyrics were beautiful but soul crushing at the same time. I cleared my throat and his body froze. I cautiously pushed open the door and crossed the room to where he sat. I placed my hands on his strong shoulders and gave them a gentle squeeze.
"That was beautiful," I told him.
"It was one of my mom's favorite songs. I wrote it for her when I came for a visit sometime last year. I thought I might sing it at the funeral today." He lowered his guitar to the stand in front of him and stood to face me. He was wearing a pair of black slacks that looked tailored made and a crisp, white button-up shirt with a black tie hanging loose around his neck. His tattoos were peaking out just above the collar.
"I can't tie this damn thing." He flicked the fabric of the tie. I took it in my hands and made quick work of tying it for him. "I'm sorry about yesterday." I looked up at him through my thick lashes.
"It's okay. You're hurting and I'm not made of glass. I understand." I smoothed out the fabric across his broad shoulders and chest. He cupped my face in his strong hands and looked down at me with stormy blue eyes.
"It's never okay to treat you like that. I'm sorry. Please forgive me." His forehead touched mine, and our eyes locked. "I love you."
"I love you too, Levi." I glanced at the clock on his nightstand. We were going to need to leave soon. "Where's your jacket, sweetheart?" Levi asked as he looked down at me, gave me a weak smile, and then tilted his head toward the closet. I watched as he slid it up over his arms and onto his strong shoulders—shoulders that were carrying so much right now. He grabbed his guitar and we headed downstairs where the others were waiting for us.
When we reached the bottom step, he turned toward the kitchen instead of joining the others in the den. I watched as he pulled a bottle of some kind of liquor from the cabinet, took a healthy gulp and then another, before placing it back on the shelf and closing the door. I opened my mouth to say something, but decided against it. If he needed it to get through this day, who was I to say no to him.
"We need to head out man. The car is out front," Jinx informed us from the doorway in the kitchen. He gave Levi a long look before turning and walking toward the front door. I wondered about the look they shared, but I didn't have time to think about it. Levi looked at me and didn't even blink as he placed his hand at the small of my back and ushered me out the door and into the black limo that was waiting in the driveway. The limo ride to the gravesite was silent. Everyone stared out the window, except for the occasional glance in Levi's direction, and the death grip he had on my knee was almost brutal. I was sure there'd be fingertip bruises on my skin later.
"You look nice." He glanced down at me with a weak smile that I'm sure was forced. I just gave his hand a little squeeze and a weak smile of my own. The limo rolled to a stop and the black tent at the gravesite came into view. Levi's body stiffened beside me and he took a deep breath. Everyone filed out and stood beside the car waiting for us to exit, but I didn't move. I gave him all the time he needed and when he was ready, we all made our way to the front row that was reserved for family.
As we sat there listening to the minister, I realized that there was no other family—only friends and probably co-workers from his mom’s past employment. Levi had no siblings and now both of his parents were gone. Another piece of my heart crumbled for this man. The band was now the only family he had left. I knew they were a close-knit bunch and for that, I thanked God that he had them.
There was security all around us, but beyond them, were the paparazzi and a few fans scattered between. They made their presence known when Levi stood at his mother's casket and sang one last song for her. I wanted to stand up and scream and shout at them. I wanted to hurl insults their way. Have some respect for the grieving, but I kept my mouth shut, kept it all inside, and concentrated on my broken man as he sang one last song for his mom.