“The first thing I’m going to build in my new secret lair is an Internet café where I am the only customer,” he said loudly enough for the other customers to hear. “I will have robot waitresses who are not so incompetent and absolutely no one working on a blog.”
OOOOHHHHH! WASN’T THAT
EXCITING? YOU KNOW, A LOT
OF KIDS READ THAT AND FREAK
OUT. I’M SERIOUS. THE LAST
TEN CANDIDATES HAD TO BE
TAKEN TO A MENTAL HOSPITAL
FOR SOME “RELAXATION.”
ANYWAY, THE POWERS THAT BE
TOOK A LOOK AT YOUR CODE-
BREAKING SKILLS AND DECIDED
THAT IT WAS TIME TO TAKE
YOU TO THE NEXT LEVEL.
SO I’M GOING TO TEACH YOU
ABOUT SOMETHING CALLED A
SUBSTITUTION CIPHER WHEEL.
THIS IS A CODE METHOD THAT
GOES ALL THE WAY BACK TO THE
TIME OF JULIUS CAESAR, WHO,
WITH HIS TOGA, SANDALS,
AND LEAF HEADBAND, WAS
A TOTAL B.C. NERD.
HERE’S HOW IT WORKS: YOU HAVE
TWO CIRCLES MADE FROM THE
LETTERS OF THE ALPHABET.
TRACE OR COPY THE CIRCLES
ONTO A PIECE OF PAPER AND CUT OUT THE CIRCLES.
OR, BETTER YET, CUT THIS BOOK
UP NOW AND GO OUT AND BUY
ANOTHER ONE TO READ—THAT’S
EXCELLENT FOR SALES.
OH, BUT THIS IS AN EBOOK. NEVER MIND!
ALL RIGHT. NOW PAY ATTENTION,
’CAUSE THIS IS WHERE IT GETS
TRICKY. YOU MAKE COPIES OF THE
CIRCLES AND THEN CUT THEM OUT.
TAKE THE LITTLE CIRCLE AND PUT
IT ON TOP OF THE BIG CIRCLE
SO THAT ONE IS INSIDE THE
OTHER. GOT IT? GOOD.
NOW YOU CHOOSE A “KEY LETTER”
FOR THE SMALLER CIRCLE. THIS
LETTER WOULD BE SOMETHING ONLY
YOU AND THE RECIPIENT OF YOUR
MESSAGE WOULD KNOW. IF YOU HAVE
A KEY LETTER, LINE IT UP WITH
THE “A” ON THE BIG CIRCLE.
THE LETTERS ON THE BIG
CIRCLE ARE THE ACTUAL
ALPHABET AND THE ONES ON
THE INNER CIRCLE ARE YOUR
CODE ALPHABET. SELECT THE
CODE LETTERS THAT LINE UP
WITH THE LETTERS OF
YOUR SECRET MESSAGE
AND WRITE THEM DOWN.
HERE, LET’S TRY. I’M ASSIGNING
THE LETTER “M” AS MY KEY
LETTER. SEE IF YOU CAN
DECIPHER MY SUPERSECRET
MESSAGE.
EQDUAGEXK, PA EAYQFTUZS MNAGF KAGD RQQF.
FTQK EYQXX XUWQ M OAYNUZMFUAZ AR QSSE MZP
RMDFE. KAG’DQ XGOWK FA TMHQ M RDUQZP XUWQ
YQ ITA IUXX FQXX KAG ITQZ KAG’DQ RGZWK.
SORRY, BUT YOU CLEARLY
AREN’T GETTING THE MESSAGE.
Duncan heard something cracking above him and watched as the metal ceiling turned from black to red to white-hot. He quickly realized that someone was using a blowtorch to cut through the vault—probably Matilda and her enhanced inhalers. He wished he could free himself from his own glue, but all he could do was watch. It was all very embarrassing.
Finally, a portion of the roof fell to the ground and Agent Brand poked his head inside. He stared at Duncan for a moment and frowned. The man’s disappointment felt like a punch in the belly.
“We’ll get you out of here soon, son,” Brand said.
Duncan quietly wondered if it wouldn’t have been better to be trapped underground forever.
“Gluestick, did you hear me?” Ms. Holiday said. She and Agent Brand were watching him through a glass window in an adjacent room back at the Playground as a bank of green lights danced across his body. “Scans are showing that every nanobyte in your body has been infected with a computer virus that is destroying them one by one. Two-thirds of them are already off-line and the rest will be gone within the hour.”