“How long will that last, Kate?”
“Hopefully for a long, long time.”
“You’re lying to yourself. Voron made us into serial killers. We can be okay without violence for a few weeks, but after a couple of months, the hand starts itching for the sword. You start looking for that rush. You get irritable, life turns stale, and then one day some fool crosses your path, attacks, and as you cut him down, you feel that short moment of struggle when he leverages his life against yours. If you’re lucky, he’s very good and the fight lasts a few seconds. But even if it doesn’t, that short moment of triumph is like getting an adrenaline shot. Suddenly color comes back into life, food tastes better, sleep is deeper, and sex is rapture.”
I knew exactly what he was talking about. I lived it and I felt it.
“You don’t have to say anything,” he said. “I know I’m right. You and I are birds of a feather. We weren’t just born, we were forged, ground, and sharpened to be exactly what we are. You felt it when we sparred. I sure did. I don’t know what you’ve got going with the werelion, but whatever it is, it will go flat and soon. I bet you already see signs of it. Some part of him enjoyed Lorelei’s attention. It’s flattering. A young, attractive girl, hanging on your every word, putting out all the signs that she’s available to you alone. It makes you feel like you’ve still got it. He didn’t do anything, but as another man, I can tell you he thought about it. Sex is a funny thing: it’s always kind of the same, but you always want more of it and with different people.”
I leaned on my hand and sighed. “Please continue, Doctor. Let me know when our time is up so I can write a check.”
He chuckled. “The man is an egomaniac. You know this. He doesn’t fully understand what you are, and he doesn’t appreciate it. Give him a few years, and the next time a Lorelei swings into his orbit, he might bang her. He will tell himself it’s not a big thing. It wouldn’t mean anything. He won’t leave you for her. The next time will be easier. The next easier still. Before you know it, it will become a regular thing. Why the hell would you want to put up with that?”
“Speaking from personal experience?”
“Yes. When I realized I’d stopped aging, I went for it. Let me tell you, no matter how creative you get—and I got creative—the mechanics of sex are always the same. The difference is passion. Passion makes it special. Having sex with an attractive woman is fun, but add passion, make her that one woman that you love or hate, and the whole experience changes. You feel something for me, Kate. Whether you want to admit it or not, something is there. I can guarantee we would never grow tired of it.”
Wow. He’d put his best game face on and hit me with everything he had. “No.”
His eyebrows came together. “No? That’s it?”
“That’s it.”
“Why?”
“Because you put people in cages, Hugh. Even if I were alone and Curran weren’t in the picture, I still wouldn’t. You came here and did just as much as necessary to earn enough goodwill to build this castle twenty years ago. The people down in town live in poverty. Your werejackal castle guards are robbing strangers on the roads, and nobody comes to you and complains, because they don’t expect you to do anything about it. You want to know the difference between you and Curran? If you gave this castle to him, within a month there would be a court, due process, and a working police force accountable to its citizens. Curran sees himself as serving the people he leads; you see yourself as being served. You brought stability to this place, but it’s the stability of a scared slave who knows he will be pummeled with a stick if he holds his head up too high. You’re content with things as they are, and when someone fails you, you stick them in a cage and slowly starve them to death.”
Hugh leaned back and smiled, amusement curving his mouth. “You are his daughter,” he said.
I wasn’t sure how to take that. I leaned back and crossed my arms.
“You know what your father’s best talent is? He can look at you and determine exactly where your best place is. That’s why he wasn’t thrilled when your aunt woke up. There was no place for her in this world.”
“So he looked at you and said, ‘You will make an excellent wrecking ball.’”
Hugh nodded. “Before there can be civilization, I come and I subdue. I crush resistance, I break their will, and then your father arrives and reins me in. He brings order, justice, and fairness. He is their salvation.”
“Be careful, your charming mask is crumbling.”
“There isn’t much point in it now.”
“Oh, so sitting through your sales pitch finally earned me the right to the no-bullshit version?”
He grinned, baring his teeth. “Here it is: I can’t let you get on that boat.”
Figured.
“It will be a lot harder to pry you out of their fort. You force my hand.”
“I didn’t know you were so easy to push around.”
“Before you left, I had my people load panacea onto your ship,” he said. “Your boy got a note telling him about it and explaining that my welcome is withdrawn.”
“I thought you promised no bullshit. Where did you even get that much panacea, Hugh? The packs guard it like gold. They would never sell that much of it to you.”
“I have no need to buy it from them. My people make it.”
“Bullshit.”
“Your father was taught how to make it when he was young. It’s a complex process, with a lot of magic done in correct order, so it was his equivalent of a graduation project.” Hugh’s eyes turned steel-hard. “I control the entire supply on this part of the continent. The only way for the Pack to get their paws on an ounce of it is to sail now, without you.”
Curran wouldn’t leave me.
“If he chooses to stay, the gloves come off.” Hugh said. “I warned him. He knows if he stays, it’s war.”
“He will stay.”
“God, I hope he does. I’ve been looking forward to killing him for three years. I will enjoy the hell out of it.”
Hugh hadn’t just taken advantage of Desandra’s pregnancy. He’d engineered this whole thing. He’d pulled the strings and the shapeshifters had obeyed, because he held panacea over their heads. He’d manipulated everyone just to get me here.
“If you hurt him, I will kill you,” I said.
“You’ll try, and I will enjoy that, too. I meant what I said, Kate. You make me feel that interesting something. That’s rare for me. And I like having you around. You’re funny.”
“Funny. Does your jaw hurt when you laugh?”
“‘My hand won’t shake,’” he quoted. “‘My aim won’t falter. My face will be the last thing you’ll see before you die.’ You’re hilarious.”
Those were the words I’d said to the Pack Council when Curran was in the coma and they’d tried to separate me from him. My skin crawled. Hugh had a mole on the Pack Council.
“I think we’re done here.” I rose.
“I always get what I want, Kate,” he said. “That’s how I’m wired.”
I walked down the path and kept walking. Derek saw me, rose, and followed.
“The ship might not be there,” I told him quietly.
“I heard,” he said. “They will be there. Don’t worry.”
We kept going.
“Are you really Roland’s daughter?” he asked.
“Yes.”
“I don’t care,” he said. “Some people might, but they don’t matter.”
I didn’t say anything, but the night grew a little brighter.
CHAPTER 18
The castle hummed with activity. Servants strung garlands of feylantern lights in the hallways. People moved back and forth. The air smelled of roasting meat and spices.
I walked through it, strangely disconnected, the quiet sounds of my footsteps lost in the celebratory chaos.
Derek raised his head, listening. “It’s the hunt dinner. They finally got all the game sorted and cooked. We are supposed to celebrate the winners at midnight.”
Great. Everyone stuffed back into the single dining hall. That would go well.
I made it up the stairs. My heart beat a little faster. I picked up speed. He wouldn’t leave without me. Not even with the panacea on the line.
I walked into our room.
Empty. A stack of my books had disappeared. Curran’s clothes, thrown on the chair, had vanished. The bed was made.
No way.
The sound of running water came from the bathroom and Curran emerged, wiping his hands with a towel. He wore trademark Pack sweats. Gray and thin, they fell apart when a shapeshifter shifted form.
Behind me Derek stepped into the hallway and shut the door.
“You’re here,” I said.
“Where else would I be?”
“Hugh owns the panacea.” He’s also a complete fucking bastard.
“He sent a note.” Curran crossed the floor and hugged me to him. My bones groaned.
I put my face into the bend of his neck. The world suddenly calmed. The fractured pieces snapped into place.
“Did you think I’d leave?” Curran whispered into my ear.
“No.” I hugged him back. “What happened to all our stuff?”
“Anything nonessential is packed and loaded. I kept your belt with all your stuff out. Got any messages for me?”
“If we go to that dinner, we’ll have a fight. Also, he hopes you will be a challenge.”
Curran smiled. It wasn’t a nice smile.
We looked at each other. We both knew Hugh would make his move tonight, and after that, everything would be over. We could try to fight our way to the ship now, except we had promised to guard Desandra. Abandoning her wasn’t an option. We had given our word.
“Are you hungry, baby?” Curran asked.
“Starving.”
“I think we should go to dinner.”
“Great idea.”
“What are you going to wear?”
“My badass face.”
“Good choice,” he said.
“Let me just get my knives and powdered silver.”