"So let's get together a petition that points that out to her. I mean, if she's that close to naked, why not—"
"That's enough out of you, Moses Jones."
"Isn't there a noise ordinance?"
Mack and Ebby grinned at each other, and without even discussing it they went to the passage between the dining room and the living room and saw that while they were doing dishes, somebody convened a meeting of the neighborhood busybodies.
Ebby's mama looked at her pointedly. "This is an adult discussion, Ebby."
Ebby just laughed.
"I don't like your tone, young lady," said Ebby's mama.
"We were just wondering," said Mack, "who you talking about on the motorcycle?"
"The person who just moved into Dr. Phelps's old house just below the hairpin on Cloverdale."
"Whom I asked to keep the noise down late at night, to which she rudely replied that her bike was her only ride so how was she supposed to get home when she finished work at three A.M."
"She's one of those inhibitionists who can't stand it when people aren't noticing her."
"Exhibitionists."
Ebby poked Mack to try to make him laugh, and it nearly worked. To cover his stifled snort, Mack said, "Um, so she got no name at all? Just 'Motorcycle Ho'?"
"Mack Street, I'm telling Ura Lee you use language like that."
"But Mrs. Jones called her—"
"I called her a motorcycle-riding hoochie mama!"
"Her name is Yolanda White," said Moses Jones. "You want her phone number?"
Joyce Jones smacked a sofa pillow into his face. "You better not have her phone number. I got scissors and you sleep naked."
"That's more than we wanted to know, Joyce," said Eva Sweet Fillmore.
"I'm getting Moses some pajamas this Christmas," said her husband, Hershey. Their standard joke: When Eva Sweet found out that Hershey Fillmore was the one leaving those chocolates in her desk in fourth grade, it's like they had no choice but to get married as soon as they got old enough.
"Yo Yo," said Mack.
"What?" asked Ebby.
"If she likes you, she lets you call her Yo Yo."
"Who does?"
"Yolanda White. The motorcycle-riding hoochie mama."
"If you children are just going to make fun!" said Ebby's mama sharply.
"We're back to the dishes!" cried Ebby and she dragged Mack back into the kitchen, though truth to tell, he wanted to stay and listen. Mrs. DeVries made sure he couldn't hear anything from the kitchen, either—she came to the kitchen, gave a child-maiming glare to Ebony, and closed the door.
"That look could dry up a girl's period," said Ebby.
"Make a man's balls drop right on the floor," said Mack.
"I seen her practice that look in a mirror, and it broke."
"Homeland Security list that look as a weapon of mass destruction."
From the living room, Mrs. DeVries's voice came loud and clear. "Quiet with that laughing in there or I come back in and look at you both twice!"
In the end, though, when the meeting was over, Mrs. DeVries came to the kitchen where Mack and Ebony were studying, made a cup of coffee, and told them everything. They were going to get Hershey to write a legal-sounding letter—Hershey was a retired lawyer—to scare her that she'd get sued if she didn't quiet down. And Hershey said there might be something in the deed that he was going to look up.
Mack listened to everything and didn't argue, but he knew—as Ebby had already said in their whispered conversation during homework—that this wasn't about the motorcycle noise. It was about Yolanda White being a single woman who might be anywhere from eighteen to thirty-five, nobody wanted to make a bet, who somehow had the money to buy a house like that.
Mrs. DeVries was incensed. "Who does she think she is, buying a house like that? You got to scrimp and save half your life to afford that house. What business a girl that age got with a million-dollar house?"
"Maybe she had a million dollars," said Ebby.
"Or maybe she has a man got a million dollars, mark my words, that's how it's going to turn out.
He'll get tired of her and suddenly she'll be left high and dry with a place she can't afford. Foreclosure!
That's my bet."
"You don't know how old she is, Mom, and she might have earned it. Maybe she invented a cure for cancer."
"Black woman invents the cure for cancer, it's going to be all over the news. Only way that Yo landa be on the news is when she ODs on drugs or holds up a liquor store or gets busted in the front seat of Hugh Grant's automobile on Sunset."
"Or gets lynched in Baldwin Hills," said Ebby.
"We're writing a letter, not finding a rope, Little Miss I-Don't-Have-to-Honor-My-Father-and-Mother."
"How do you know Yolanda White doesn't honor her father and mother?" asked Ebby.
"Because I sincerely doubt she knows who her father is."
That hung in the air for a long moment before Mrs. DeVries lost her look of triumph and gave a sort of quick glance toward Mack and then suddenly remembered she had to clean up some more in the living room.
As soon as she was gone, Ebby looked at Mack and said, "What was that about?"
"Isn't that just like grownups. It's okay to judge somebody for being a bastard, but not if they're sitting at the table with you."
"Actually, these days we prefer the term 'differently parented.' "
"No," said Ebby solemnly, "I am quite certain the term is 'paternity deficient.' 'Differently parented' means your parents are both the same sex, or there's more than two of them in the same house."
They traded politically correct synonyms for bastard till Mrs. DeVries came in and sent Mack home so Ebony could go to bed. "It is a school night, and not everybody has the stamina to wander through the neighborhood all night and still be up for school in the morning."
So people did notice him walking the streets. They couldn't know that for him, the middle of the night might really be morning, because he'd just slept the night in Fairyland. It was like perpetual jet lag for Mack, without the jet.
At the door, Mack finally asked the only question he was still wondering about. "What if Yolanda does get rid of the bike? Would you all welcome her to the neighborhood then?"
"Welcome her! What do you mean, bake cookies and cakes and invite her over? Not a woman like that! Not on your life!"
"Well, then, why should she give up the bike for you, if you don't plan to treat her decent even if she does get rid of it?"
"She won't be giving up the motorcycle for us. She'll be giving it up to avoid a big ugly lawsuit."
And the door closed with Mack outside.
Next morning, Mrs. Tucker came over for coffee while Miz Smitcher and Mack ate breakfast, which was becoming her custom now, with no kids in the house and Mr. Tucker off to work so early every day. Mack usually kept still, but today he had a lot on his mind.
"Over at DeVries they had a meeting last night."
"About Miss Motorcycle," said Mrs. Tucker.
"Motorcycle ain't the problem," said Mack.
"Wakes me up out of a sound sleep every time she goes by!"
"I mean, last night Mrs. DeVries said it didn't matter if Yolanda give up the bike or not, she still not welcome here."
"I completely agree," said Mrs. Tucker. "She cheapens the whole neighborhood." else's?"
"Got to have respect for the neighborhood," said Miz Smitcher.
"That bike is her ride," said Mack. "Since when do neighbors have the right to tell you what to drive?"
"We not telling her what to drive," said Mrs. Tucker. "We telling her what not to drive at three o'clock in the morning."
"Never woke me up," said Mack. Though he immediately realized it was probably because he was in Fairyland at the time.
"Might not have the right in law," said Miz Smitcher, "but we have a natural right to protect our property values."
Mack set down his fork and looked at them both in exasperation. "Can you hear yourselves?
Property values! They taught us in school that 'property values' was how white people used to excuse themselves for trying to keep blacks out of their neighborhood."