“No, we’re not,” he agreed. “Nature can be violent and heartless, and humans can be as selfless and good and heroic as anyone else. That’s the kind of sorceress I imagine you would be.”
My cheeks warmed despite the cold. I had never thought of myself as becoming a sorceress, but that was what I was after, wasn’t it?
“Our tutor was always saying how everything has a spirit. Magic just taps into that. So it’s all about how you use the connection, isn’t it?” He grinned. “I really sound like I know what I’m talking about.”
“Don’t you?” I laughed. “Please tell me you’re not making this up so I’ll feel better.”
“No. Though I was just thinking how much I’ve grown up.” He sounded sober at the thought. He gathered a few sticks from the ground, his first concession to the original purpose of our outing. “We all learned some things about magic, politics, other races, propriety… things royal children should know. But it isn’t until just now that I realized how much I know.”
“That’s good, isn’t it?”
“If I’m ever going to be a king, it is.” His brow furrowed, and he said nothing for a moment. We had come to a thin creek that ran through the woods. He wordlessly handed me his basket while he stepped across the frozen water, putting his bad foot forward first with the walking stick for stability, his other arm out for balance. I leaped across after him, and he took the basket back.
“A part of me was hoping my body really was lost forever,” he said. “I’m terrified of ruling the fairy kingdom. I was never meant for something like that. But it’s true what you say. I hated Luka when we were children. And from all I’ve heard of Luka as king, he hasn’t improved much.”
“You’d be a good ruler,” I said.
“Would I?” he cried. “I’ve lived just seventeen years-maybe eighteen by now-but I come from a prior generation. I hardly know what’s been going on. And when I was last alive, I wasn’t interested in anything that wasn’t fun. Is a kind but unwilling king any better than a cruel but competent one? I’m not so sure.”
Once again, we stopped walking. The air was still, just as we were, but the high, thin sunshine of winter was shining on the white world. I touched his sleeve. “But are you unwilling? What do you really want? To die now? To be king? To melt away unnoticed?”
He made a face. “The last option is tempting.” He paused. “I don’t really want to die.”
“I feel sure you would make a better king than someone cruel,” I said. “I think it would be very hard at first, and then get easier.” Part of me wondered why I was encouraging him to be king. I felt I was pushing him farther from my own life, and yet, I could see that future for him. “You’re a brave person. And you take care of other people. Very good qualities for a king.”
“Do you really see that in me?” He looked at me carefully, as if searching for a reflection of himself he had never before seen.
“I do.”
“I think you’re speaking of yourself,” he said softly. “I think it’s you who would make a good queen.”
My chin briefly trembled. I could imagine myself a sorceress more readily than a queen, and neither would be easy. I had been raised into singing and dancing at a royal court, but it was another thing altogether to envision myself on a raised platform where the king and queen sat, garbed in jewel-colored silks, surrounded by gold platters of food and scores of willing servants. Of course, the fairy kingdom would not look the same, but the feel of it must be similar.
“Well, I’m not royalty, I’m afraid,” I said. Not to mention, I was human.
“You can be an optimist about my fate, but not about your own?” Erris said.
“It’s always easier to be optimistic about someone else.”
“If the job was offered, though, would you take it?” he asked, looking at me.
“Can a human be the fairy queen?”
“Oh, yes. In fact, there were times in which it was preferred. Fairies believe that a little diversity is a good thing.”
“Well, then, of course I would take it. Without hesitation,” I said, my heart beating fast. Which was not exactly true-I might hesitate, but the end result would be the same. I had come this far. If Erris asked me to be his queen, I would say yes and manage it somehow.
Chapter 14
It was only later that I had time to consider what the conversation really meant. Erris truly had shifted his focus toward the hope that he might live to become king. It made me tremble a bit. Still, we owed it to both Lorinar and the fairy kingdom to prepare.
A week or so later, I was in the kitchen-we did nearly everything in the kitchen-reading some of Ordorio’s books when Lean Joe came back from town with the mail. “You have a package, miss,” Lean Joe said, gathering everyone’s attention as he dropped a small parcel in front of me.
“Oh! I asked if Karstor would send something to help with the jinn.”
“No, it’s from overseas. Mr. Parry.”
“He’s sending you packages now?” Erris said. “What is it?”
I chewed my lip. I wanted to open it alone, but that would only arouse Erris’s suspicions further, and I didn’t feel like making him jealous now when he was talking to me about being a queen. Celestina handed me a knife and I slit the brown paper open.
A silver bracelet slid out. Each end of the bangle depicted the head of a stylized elephant, and the trunks formed the clasp. It was clever and lovely and I wished for all the world Hollin had not been the one giving it to me.
“Oh, can I see?” Violet said. “That’s wonderful!”
“He probably got it cheaply,” I said, knowing it wasn’t true.
“He does remember that he’s married, doesn’t he?” Erris said.
I let Violet and Celestina admire the bracelet for a moment, and then I slipped it back in the envelope. “Maybe he just wanted to give me a token of friendship,” I said. “He knows I like elephants.”
“Elephants aren’t really romantic,” Violet pointed out.
“I guess he can send you whatever he likes,” Erris said. “But I hope you don’t encourage him.”
“It’s nothing!” I said, perhaps protesting too loudly. “Annalie is my friend, and Hollin and I went through a lot together.”
“Oh, ‘together,’ did you? What exactly did you go through together?”
“We-” I made a face. “He’s one of the only people I have to write to.”
Erris gave a dark look down at the surface of the table. Of course, he had even fewer people to write than I did.
I wasn’t about to open Hollin’s letters in front of everyone, but I felt almost as if I were sneaking off into a liaison when I took them to my bedroom. My heart pounded as if I were, especially recalling what I had written to him last. I could no longer remember the exact words, I just recalled it had made me nervous.
Dear Nimira,
I was so pleased to receive your letter. I suppose the mail travels relatively swiftly in these modern times, but things change so quickly in my life that it seems an age passes between letters.
I hope you enjoy the gift. I remembered us talking of elephants back at Vestenveld, so when I saw this bracelet in the market, I had to get it for you. Many of the women here wear silver bangles of similar design.
I’ve been continuing my work with the schools, but I no longer work under Mr. Quendley. I have a usual round of twelve schools in a fifty-mile radius that I’m supposed to check on each month. I then send a report back to my superiors, about what kind of magic the schools are teaching. I do believe the Lorinarians would rather the natives abandon magic altogether, but they realize magic helps prevent epidemics and famine, and the people would rebel without it, so they only try to suppress martial magic.