“Sounds harsh,” Karnage said.
“I am, of course, paraphrasing.”
“That still don’t explain why I’m here.”
Sydney sat down, braced her fingers against the floor, then lifted her body, balancing her weight on her fingertips. “It’s like this: Brass claims you’re more than old Sydney can handle.” Sydney bounced on her fingers a couple of times. Once resettled, she was balancing on just her pinky fingers. “And I aim to prove them wrong.”
“And you’re gonna do that how?”
“By kicking your ass,” Sydney said. “In a fair fight, of course.”
“That doesn’t sound too rational.”
“Never said it was, mate.” Sydney stood up and stretched her neck. She bounced on her toes. “You ready?”
Karnage felt the weight of the Sanity Patch against his neck. “I’d be up for this more in the morning.”
“You trying to be funny?”
“I couldn’t be more serious.”
“Sorry, mate. We don’t got all night. Just do your best. I’ll go easy on you at first. Let you get warmed up.”
“You’re too kind.”
“Thanks. Don’t let that get around.”
“Won’t tell a soul.”
“Appreciate it.” Sydney shook her body out, then lowered into a crouch. She stuck out her pinkies like she was holding twin cups of tea, and rose to the tips of her toes. She nodded once. “Here we go.”
And then she was on him.
Fingers and toes flew at Karnage with blinding speeds. Karnage dodged, bobbed, danced and weaved. Once he was too slow and a pinkie brushed his side. His vision exploded in black dots as pain shot through him. He gasped and struggled to stay upright enough to dodge a follow-up baby toe heading for his neck.
He’d never seen anyone move like this before. It was like a martial arts version of shiatsu. Sydney knew all the right pressure points to cause extreme pain in the body. It was brilliant. It was like ballet, except it didn’t suck. Sydney’s every move was graceful. The lines of her attack were beautiful. Karnage had never enjoyed fighting someone so much in his life.
That joy was tinged with worry. He’d never had to move so fast. He could barely keep up with her frenetic pace. It burned him up inside that he couldn’t fight back. Not that he’d seen many opportunities to do so. Once or twice he thought he saw an opening, but they closed so fast it became obvious they were carefully laid traps. Had he made a move, he would have exposed himself for a crippling blow. Karnage had never seen Sydney’s equal. She was an artist.
They moved back and forth across the room, swaying and bobbing and weaving in a violent dance of bear and doe, the doe attacking and the bear defending, clumsily dodging each finely thrust hoof and horn. Karnage scrambled to avoid a toe that seemed to sneak up on him from behind Sydney’s back. He heard a yelp from behind as Tiny shouted, “Hey! Watch it! You almost hit me!”
“Stay out of my way and you won’t get hurt!” Sydney barked.
“Easy for you to say. You guys are all over the place. Hey!”
Karnage saw Tiny scramble to one side. That gave Karnage an idea. He worked on dodging and ducking, moving in a slow arc towards Tiny. Sydney made it near impossible. Her every attack demanded specific precise counter-manoeuvres. But slowly, Karnage moved them back in Tiny’s direction.
“Quit comin’ towards me!” Tiny screamed.
“Quit getting in my way!” Sydney yelled back.
Karnage heard Tiny scrambling behind him again. He ducked between two fingers and a toe while sliding out his back leg for balance. He felt the knocking of a leg as Tiny stumbled into Karnage’s foot. Tiny squealed as he fell. Another toe raced towards Karnage. Karnage grabbed a handful of Tiny and pulled him on top as a human shield. Karnage heard a crunch and a scream as Sydney’s toe slammed into Tiny. Tiny went still.
“Sorry, mate.” Sydney patted Tiny on the shoulder before tossing him off Karnage and relaunching her attack.
Karnage rolled across the floor. A series of fingers and toes slammed into the floor behind him.
Karnage heard the crackle of a stun stick in front of him. “I got a bead on him, Sydney.”
“Stay outta this, Chuckles!”
“No worries. I got him.” A boot stamped onto Karnage’s back, stopping him mid-roll. There was the crackle of electricity by his ear and the smell of ozone. Just as quickly, it spun away as something crunched and Chuckles screamed.
Karnage looked up. Sydney was balanced on her pinkies atop Chuckles’s twitching chest. “Sorry, Chuckles. Got to do this on my own,” Sydney twisted on her pinkies. There was a sickening crunch and Chuckles went still. “You understand.” She backflipped off Chuckles and stood before Karnage. She was shining with sweat. Karnage took the opportunity to catch his breath.
“You’re better than I thought.”
“I gotta say,” Karnage panted. “I’m a little disappointed.”
“How so?”
“Your aim sucks. You’re good at hitting your own men. Not so good at hittin’ me.”
Sydney smirked. “So what say we stop playing around and get down to business?”
Sydney launched forward, fingers and toes flying at Karnage in every direction. Karnage threw himself to the floor. A finger grazed his back. His lungs seized and the breath shot out of him. All his limbs tingled. He struggled up as best he could, clutching his knees to his chest to catch his breath.
A toe nicked him in the ear. His left leg went numb. A finger tapped his elbow. Spots exploded in his vision. Shot after shot tapped and poked and prodded his skin. Pain exploded all over his body. He felt like he was being carpet bombed. His every instinct screamed at him to fight back. To kill!
He fought it. He wouldn’t succumb. He wouldn’t blow his head off by giving in to his rage. His troopers were counting on him. Velasquez. Heckler. Cookie. Koch. He recited his mantra, his reason for living. Velasquez. Heckler. Cookie. Koch. He struggled to his feet, avoiding some blows, wincing under others. Take it, soldier! Do it! Your troopers need you! Velasquez! Heckler! Cookie! Koch!
“Fight back, goddammit!” Sydney screamed.
Karnage spat blood. The animal in his head was screaming: Do it, dammit! Look at her! She’s tired! Angry! Her guard is down! Take the shot, soldier! TAKE THE SHOT!
Karnage didn’t. Velasquez. Heckler. Cookie. Koch. He slowly pulled himself to his feet. Velasquez. Heckler. Cookie. Koch. He spat another mouthful of blood. Velasquez. Heckler. Cookie. Koch.
“This is stupid!” Sydney shouted. “You’re supposed to be better than this!”
“I am,” Karnage said.
A toe threw Karnage across the room.
“Then take a shot at me!” Sydney yelled.
Karnage struggled to his feet. Blood was freely flowing from his forehead.
“I can’t,” he said.
“What’s the matter? Don’t you fight girls?”
“Oh hell, yeah. I’m an equal opportunity combatant.”
“Then what’s the problem?”
Karnage wiped the blood from his face. “Let’s just say I’m waitin’ for a sign.”
Sydney leaped at Karnage, pinning his arms to the floor, straddling him with her tiptoes. “What kind of sign?”
Karnage’s neck beeped. “Attention: Sanity Level downgraded to Frosty Pink. Thank you for refraining from violent behaviour.”