“Malcolm! I’m sorry to have to handle things like this, but I’m in the middle of some sensitive negotiations and I can’t pull myself away.” Steve glanced from side to side, then leaned in closer to the screen. “Look, let’s cut right to the chase: you fucked up. I mean, you really screwed the pooch on this one. The board is screaming for your head.”
Riggs braced himself. Here it comes.
“So I’m removing you from the Karnage assignment.” Steve raised his hands towards the screen, palms up. “Now, look. Don’t panic. Things look bad, I know. But I’ve been talking you up to our silent partners here. They’re very interested in your extensive knowledge of the good major. They want to make you part of their team. A consultant of sorts—we’re still ironing out the details. I can’t get too specific, but I can say that this is a fast-growing organization with plenty of room for advancement.
“Now, I may have jumped the gun a bit here, but I went with my gut and accepted the contract for you. You’re not going to let me down by saying no, are you? This is a once in a lifetime opportunity here. You’d be a fool to pass it up. You’re not going to let me down, Malcolm, are you? You’re taking this position, yes?” Steve nodded, answering the question for himself. “Good. It’s settled, then. You can hitch a ride with Patrick here. He’ll deliver you to our silent partners. Be well, Malcolm. See you.”
The tablet blinked off. Riggs stared at the blank screen. He looked up at Patrick.
Patrick returned Riggs’s gaze. “Not quite the reprimand you were expecting, sir?”
CHAPTER THREE
Karnage felt something nudge his shoulder. He pulled himself up from sleep and saw it was Stumpy’s stump. “Wake up, Major. We’re almost there.”
Karnage rubbed the sleep from his eyes. “How much farther?”
“Not far,” Stumpy tapped the dashboard screen. “According to those Globesat coordinates you gave me, it shouldn’t be more than a few klicks.”
Karnage stretched and looked out the window. The desert landscape was dotted with massive pits of black tar. Gnarled pink plants grew around the edges. Ropey tendrils of orange interwove themselves around the pink, snaking from one tar pit to the next.
“What the fuck is all this?” Karnage asked.
“That’s pinkstink,” Stumpy pointed to a clump of pink flowers as they passed. “Scrunch it in your fingers and it gives off an awful smell. The viney stuff is orange creeper. Grows like a weed. It gets in everything. Tear it down one day, and it grows back up the next. A real pain in the ass.”
Karnage gazed out at the landscape. “This all used to be trees, Stumpy. Pine and cedar and shit. And now… now there ain’t even stumps. It’s all so different. So…” A chill ran down Karnage’s spine. “…alien.”
There was an ear splitting bang, and the car lurched forward.
Karnage braced himself against the dashboard. “What the hell’d we hit?!”
“I don’t know!”
There was another bang, and the back of the car pitched upward. Stumpy pointed his stump behind them. “It’s comin’ from the trunk!”
“I think our passenger is finally awake,” Karnage said.
The rear of the car lurched again and slammed into the ground hard. Yellow gas spewed from the driver’s side.
“We got a flat!” Stumpy slammed on the brakes and pulled the cruiser over. The banging and lurching got worse.
They got out of the car and inspected the damage. A crack had formed in one of the hoverballs. Yellow smoke spewed from the crack. The car lurched again, and the ball slammed into the ground. Another crack appeared.
Stumpy shook his head. “If she keeps this up, we won’t have a ball left to float on!”
“Can you fix it?”
Stumpy ran his fingers along the cracks. “I think so. Grab me a goober rifle.”
Karnage fished a goober rifle out of the back seat. Stumpy took the rifle, and cracked it open.
“What are you doing?”
“Breakin’ the seals. Kills the pressure from the nozzle. It gets messy, but it should work.” Stumpy snapped the rifle back together. He pulled the trigger. Half-hearted spurts of goober oozed from the nozzle. Stumpy placed the nozzle against the hoverball and ran it down the crack, leaving a line of goober in its wake that swelled and filled the crack. The yellow smoke thinned out to a fine trickle. Stumpy tossed the goober rifle to the ground as it was slowly engulfed in the pink stuff oozing from its seams. He patted the hoverball.
“That should hold us for a while. Should be enough to get us to Camp Bailey, anyway, so long as our passenger doesn’t screw things up.”
The car lurched again.
“It doesn’t sound like she’s gonna be all that cooperative.” Karnage fished another goober rifle out of the backseat. He turned to Stumpy. “Get behind the wheel. When I give you the signal, pop the trunk.”
Stumpy eyed the rifle. “What are you going to do?”
Karnage switched off the rifle’s safety. “I’m gonna reason with her.”
Karnage stood in front of the trunk, goober rifle at the ready. He signalled to Stumpy. Stumpy popped the trunk. The lid flew open and the duffel bag launched itself into the air. It crashed into Karnage, knocking him to the ground. Karnage rolled out from underneath it and scrambled to his feet. He pinned the gyrating bag with the butt of his rifle. The bag writhed under the rifle like an angry snake, trying to wiggle free. Karnage reached forward and unzipped the bag. Sydney’s tousled head burst out. Her face was red. Her eyes shot daggers at Karnage. Her mouth was covered with a strip of duct tape. It flexed in and out as she let loose an angry tirade of muffled curses that would have made Velasquez proud. Karnage waited until she had exhausted her expansive vocabulary, then saluted. “Evening, Captain.”
Sydney glared at Karnage, her eyes full of hate.
“I apologize for the bumpy ride,” he said. “I’ll admit this ain’t exactly the sort of treatment suited to an officer of your calibre, but it’s the best we could do under the circumstances. We should be far enough from the enemy that your gag won’t be necessary. If I may, Captain?”
Sydney stared at Karnage with a cold, burning hate. Karnage took that for assent. He grabbed the corner of the duct tape, and ripped it off with a quick snap. Sydney’s teeth grazed his knuckles as he pulled his hand clear. The clack of her teeth snapping shut echoed across the desert.
“Easy there, Captain. You nearly took my hand off.”
“Sorry,” Sydney said. “I won’t miss next time.”
Karnage nodded. “Good. Either do the job right the first time or don’t do it at all. Sometimes you don’t get a second chance.”
Sydney scowled. “You know, taking me hostage was probably the stupidest thing you could possibly have done.”
“Hostage? Oh, no. You ain’t no hostage. Not by a long shot. You’re a POW, with all the inherent rights and privileges therein. And as for me bein’ stupid, from what I’ve seen you’re probably the only Dabneycop with even half a chance of bringin’ me in. So long as I keep you with me, you can’t be plannin’ any nasty surprises for me and Stumpy here. This way I know exactly where you are and what you’re up to.”
“Am I supposed to be impressed?”
“If you like.”
“Well, I’m not. You’ll find I’m very hard to hold onto.”