As if on cue, a collection of white slivers of light shot through the walls and collected in a nodule by a door. The door spiralled open, and a squidbug that had been leaning on the door stumbled back and fell out. Other squidbugs sat inside, collected around an old car idling in the room. Bits of broken hoverball shell lay around it. The room was thick with grey smoke. A garden hose had been taped to the car’s exhaust, and a squidbug was sucking on the end of it. His eyes were crossed and purple polka-dots covered his skin. He passed the hose to the next squidbug who eagerly sucked on the end and turned a kind of chartreuse shade of plaid.
The squidbug that lay at Karnage’s and Sydney’s feet groggily stood and shook its head. It looked at Karnage and Sydney with crossed eyes. It worked hard at uncrossing its eyes and focused on Karnage and Sydney. It blinked slowly as its skin changed colour from green paisley to blue ripples. Its eyes suddenly went wide and its skin flowed to solid purple then dark red. It raised its mouth tentacles, exposing a clawed beak, and screeched at Sydney.
Sydney whipped her pistol from her belt and fired a shot of goober in the squidbug’s face. The alien’s head disappeared in an expanding ball of goober as it staggered back into the room. It crashed into the car, kicking the garden hose out of the exhaust. The other squidbugs finally looked up from the hose at their struggling companion. Gradually, they turned their attention to Karnage and Sydney and worked hard at uncrossing their eyes.
Karnage and Sydney backed away from the door.
“Is that enough empirical evidence for you, Captain?” Karnage said.
Sydney nodded. “That should just about do it.”
The squidbugs slowly rose to their feet as their eyes focused on Karnage and Sydney.
“How many rounds you got left in that goober gun?” Karnage said.
“Not enough,” Sydney said.
One of the squidbugs turned dark crimson. It reached down for a squiggly spear lying on the floor.
“Only one thing left do,” Karnage said.
“What’s that?”
“Run!”
They raced down the corridor, the squidbugs stumbling after them. The aliens levelled their energy spears at Karnage and Sydney, and fired balls of energy at them. The balls went ridiculously wide, slamming into the floor and ceiling far behind them. One of the squidbugs tripped on his spear and accidentally shot himself. He vaporized instantly.
“These guys are the worst shots I’ve ever seen!” Sydney said.
“Quit bitching!” Karnage stumbled and nearly fell. “You picked a helluva time to come around! You know that?”
“Now who’s bitching?!”
“I am! And I got every right to! You know how hard it is to run in handcuffs?”
“How was I supposed to know there were aliens?”
“How about because I fuckin’ well told you?”
“I make it a point never to trust anybody in handcuffs.”
A crackling ball of green energy flew over their heads.
“Maybe you should rethink that policy!”
“I’ll take it under advisement.”
They rounded a corner, and came face to face with a sealed door. “How do you open this thing?” Sydney said.
Karnage motioned with his head at the nodules beside the door. “It has something to do with this.”
Sydney pressed it and punched it, but nothing happened. “How does it work?”
“I don’t know. I just pushed it, and it worked.”
“It’s not working now.”
“I can see that.”
Energy blasts shot wildly down the corridor, some of them disturbingly close.
“Goddammit, we have to do something!”
Karnage kicked the nodule. “Open up, you stupid monkeyfucker!” White light burst out of the nodule and flowed into the floor. The Sanity Patch crooned “Coral Essence” as the floor spiralled open beneath them.
They fell into the bowels of the ship.
CHAPTER FOUR
Karnage plummeted through twisting pipes, slid through long chutes, and spiralled through giant drains, liquid flowing all around him. An occasional burst of white light shot down the tunnel in front of him, opening up new chutes while sealing off others, redirecting his course as he alternately slid and fell deeper into the squidbug ship.
The tunnel finally gave way to open air, and he fell through the pitch black and landed with a splash into liquid. It stung his eyes and tasted like toxic sludge. He tried to kick his way to the surface. The handcuffs holding his arms behind his back did nothing to help.
He wasn’t sure if he was swimming up to the surface or down into the depths. He just kept kicking, hoping eventually he’d reach the top. He felt something grab his collar and pull him sideways. His head broke the surface and he gasped for air.
Karnage could feel Sydney pulling again as she swam towards a circle of white light shining in the distance. It illuminated a halfopen grate in the wall, just above the water level. A particularly large wave slapped her full in the mouth.
She spat out a mouthful of foul liquid. “Christ, this stuff tastes awful!”
“Just keep swimming.” Karnage did his best to kick and help propel them forward.
It was much farther away than it looked. The white ring slowly grew in size, from a man-sized hole to something that would accommodate a jumbo jet. Exhausted, Sydney pulled them through the grate onto its dry smooth surface. They lay there a moment, catching their breath. Finally, Sydney spoke. “There really are aliens, aren’t there?”
“Not just aliens,” Karnage said. “Squidbugs.”
Sydney looked out at the giant vat of liquid. “What the hell do we do now?”
“First,” Karnage twisted his back towards Sydney, “you can take off these handcuffs.”
“Right,” she said. “Sorry.”
Karnage heard her fumble in her pockets. “Shit,” she said.
“What?”
“I can’t find the key. I must have dropped it.” She ran her hands along the base of the tunnel, then looked with dread out at the liquid. She looked back at Karnage.
He ground his teeth. “This is great. No, this is beyond great. Fantastic! How the hell am I gonna defend myself against a squidbug attack?”
“Maybe you can kick ’em to death.”
“Can’t you just poke the cuffs with a toe or something and snap ’em off?”
Sydney shook her head. “It doesn’t work like that.”
“No,” Karnage said. “Of course not.”
“Come on.” Sydney helped Karnage to his feet. “Maybe we can find something at the end of this tunnel.”
Karnage looked down into the darkness. “Where does it go?”
“It goes that way. Come on.”
They walked down the shaft for what felt like hours. Karnage rolled his shoulders and stretched his arms. They were starting to get sore. He tried glowering at Sydney’s back to make himself feel better. It didn’t help.
The tunnel slowly slanted upward. It ended at a bend that took it straight up a few feet before ending at a giant sealed grate. Nothing but darkness was visible beyond the grate.
A set of rungs led up to the grate. Sydney climbed up and tried to lift it. It didn’t budge. She looked around the edges. “Maybe there’s a nodule thing we can hit.”
“I don’t see one,” Karnage commented.
“Keep looking.”
“What’s that?”
A flashing pinprick of white light shot across the grate. The edges of the grate glowed, and it lifted and slid open.
“Nice work,” Karnage said.
“I didn’t do anything.”
“Worry about the who and the why later. Help me up.”