“Nah.”
“Well, what about that part where you tried to show up Riggs by proving you could beat the crap outta me?”
“Oh, well I’m sure once I explain to my superiors how big of an asshole Riggs is, all will be forgiven. It’s not like they ever screwed me over before.”
“Not once, huh?”
“Oh no. Not ever.”
“This that sarcasm thing again?”
“Yep.”
Karnage lay back in his cot, staring out at the stars. The black outline of a vulture soared past in the distance. “Lemme ask you somethin’ Captain. You ever think of givin’ up the whole law and order thing and embarkin’ on a life o’ crime?”
“Well, that depends. What kind of crime we talkin’ about here?”
Karnage shrugged. “Probably big stuff. Security breaches. Vandalism. Terrorism. Stuff you’d do while fightin’ squidbugs.”
“And what do I get out of it?”
Karnage shrugged. “Probably nothing. Probably just get yourself arrested. Or killed. Maybe even turned into a giant mutant squidbuggy thing.”
“You mean like you?”
“Yeah. Like me.”
“You make it all sound so tempting.”
“Well, there’s the off-chance you might accidentally stop the squidbugs.”
“And save the world?”
Karnage shrugged. “Maybe.”
“What do you think the chances are of doing that?”
“Pretty bad.”
“Yet you’re gung ho for it anyway.”
“I got a vested interest.”
“What’s that?”
Karnage grew serious. “Cookie. Velasquez. Heckler. Koch. Stumpy.”
“Your troopers.”
Karnage nodded.
“These troopers of yours,” Sydney said. “They good people?”
“Yep,” Karnage said. “The best.”
“Worth dying for?”
“Ten times over.”
Sydney nodded. “Let me think about it. Maybe sleep on it. Get back to you. Okay?”
Karnage nodded. “Okay.”
“’Night, Major,” Sydney said. “I hope you can kill something in the morning.”
“Me, too,” Karnage said.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Karnage and Sydney stood across from each other in the carnival square in front of the fountain. Karnage stretched his hands. Sydney wiggled her toes. The drone hovered down between them.
“Working with a live opponent should be no different than the simulations. Channel your sense memories, Major. Engage the limbic lobe. Remember why you are doing this.”
Karnage nodded. “I won’t forget.”
“Then let us begin,” the drone hovered up and out of the way. “Start slowly, at first. Telegraph your strikes. Allow your body time to adjust to the idea that these movements are nonviolent.”
Karnage did as the drone said. He threw his punch slowly, thinking about every movement, working to convince himself there was nothing violent about it. Just makin’ a fist. Just pullin’ it back. Just twistin’ my body forward while I’m extendin’ my arm. Sydney caught and easily deflected the punch. Karnage did it again. And again. Slowly, he picked up the pace. All the while, he repeated his mantra: Cookie. Velasquez. Heckler. Stumpy. Koch. Cookie. Velasquez. Heckler. Stumpy. Koch.
“Excellent, Major! Excellent!”
His punches were moving at a normal pace now. It was like a dance: Karnage was leading, throwing his punches, and Sydney would block and deflect. Like a violent tango where the music kept going faster and faster, picking up the pace. Karnage and Sydney picked up their pace with it. He couldn’t help it: he was enjoying it.
Karnage let loose with a combo that almost took Sydney off guard. She smiled and nodded, showing appreciation for his work. They were perfectly matched in this mock combat. Karnage felt something stirring inside he hadn’t felt in a long time—
“Warning. Sanity Level upgraded to Lemon Breeze. Please refrain from violent behaviour.”
“Shit!”
The drone hovered down. “Don’t be so disappointed. You were doing very well there, Major. Your progress has been absolutely remarkable. I foresee only another four to six weeks of training before—”
“Four to six weeks?! We don’t have that kind of time! I thought you said this was gonna be quick and dirty!”
“This is quick and dirty, Major. To properly master the Eleven Senses would take years. It is as much of a shortcut as we are able to take. Now, retake your positions, and…” The drone suddenly twisted away, its lens frantically pushing in and out. “Wait. How is this possible? Why didn’t—”
A shot rang out, and the drone exploded. Bits of sphere and lens fell to the ground. Karnage whipped around.
Patrick stood at the entrance to the water park. He held a smoking pistol in his hand. Karnage and Sydney dove into the fountain. Chunks of concrete flew from the rim as bullets whizzed overhead.
“How the hell did he find us?” Sydney said.
“I don’t know.” More chunks of concrete exploded from the rim. “Is it just me or is he a little more determined this time?” Karnage waited until he heard the empty clip fall to the ground before calling out over the fountain. “I thought you didn’t want to kill me?”
“Sadly, my orders have changed.” Patrick reloaded his pistol. “Please note I didn’t shoot you first. After our last encounter, I just didn’t think that would be very sporting of me.”
“You mind telling me who wants me dead?” Karnage said.
“Sorry. Client confidentiality. You understand.”
A drone flew overhead towards Patrick. “You’ve got a lot of nerve,” it said, before a bullet caused it to explode into pieces.
Another drone quickly followed in its wake. “I simply can’t abide violence.” Another bullet. Another explosion.
A third drone flew by. “Not in my compound.” It exploded.
A fourth quickly followed. “Not ever.” It too exploded.
A fifth and a sixth flew by. “Games on the other hand—” the fifth said before blowing apart. “—I quite enjoy,” the sixth finished, then shattered.
Another three drones flew past. “Would you like to play a game with me now?” one of them said, then promptly went boom.
“I call it Wak-A-Kat.” Boom.
“You be the mallet, and I’ll be the cats!” Boom.
“Would you like to play?”
“No.” Patrick fired, and the drone shattered.
“Too bad,” another drone said. “Wak-A-Kat!”
Patrick blasted it to bits.
“Excellent shot,” another drone said as it flew into his face. “WakA-Kat!” Patrick fired, and it shattered. Another took its place.
“Wak-A-Kat!”
The air grew thick with drones. They swarmed around Patrick. He shot frantically as they closed in, crying, “Wak-A-Kat! Wak-AKat!” Bits of drone shrapnel flew off in all directions in time with the gunfire.
“Stop saying that!”
“Wak-A-Kat!”
A drone flew over the fountain. Its lens focused on Karnage and Sydney. “Sydney, my dear, I believe you have a weapon in the water tower?”
Sydney nodded. “My goober pistol. Yeah. It’s not much—”
The drone exploded. Karnage and Sydney covered their heads against the bits of drone that fell onto them. Another drone quickly flew into its place. “Then I suggest you go now, before I run out of—” The drone exploded.
“Good enough for me,” Karnage said. “Let’s go!”
Karnage and Sydney crawled around to the back of the fountain. They leaped out. Patrick was covered in drones, firing wildly. The drones all crying, “Wak-a-kat! Wak-a-kat!” The two soldiers ran to the water tower and climbed the stairs.