“Look at that sign,” I said to Maddie. “It’s a shame, huh?”
“Sure is,” she said. “Looks like they’re aiming to build a new housing development when what we could really use is a Super Walmart.”
I looked at her.
“What?” Maddie said.
“Are you sure we’re sisters?”
“Shopping is not a sin, Mace. And, yes, I’m sure. I remember Mama saying you were growing in her tummy, and then Daddy and her bringing you home from the hospital. Everyone said how adorable you were with those big blue eyes and that shock of black hair.”
I worked my fingers through my hair. It was still black, whipped by the wind through the windows into some shocking snarls.
“My reign as the center of the universe was over.” Maddie shook her head sadly. “And I wasn’t even four.”
“You need to get over that sibling rivalry, Sister. It was thirty-two years ago.”
She sniffled, playing it up. “Early traumas aren’t easily forgotten.”
Then her face turned grave. “Speaking of trauma, I didn’t even ask you how you felt about finding Ronnie this morning. That must have been horrible.”
An image of Mama’s neighbor and all that blood forced itself into my mind. I gazed ahead at the road, keeping my eyes focused on the center yellow line.
“Yeah,” I finally said. “It was hard. And I felt so sorry for Alice, too. I’m glad Carlos wouldn’t let her see Ronnie. She should remember her husband the way he was.”
The radio was playing a commercial for the Home on the Range Feed Supply and Clothing Emporium. I switched to a station giving the weather forecast. High humidity, temperatures in the 90s, and we were barely into June. Welcome to middle Florida, where the nearest ocean breeze is sixty miles away.
“What do you suppose that weird look meant that Alice gave C’ndee?” I asked.
Maddie was punching up Dr. Laura’s station again, even though it was my Jeep, and she knew how I felt about that show. She lifted a shoulder in a shrug.
“Don’t know. C’ndee’s from New Jersey. Maybe Alice doesn’t like her on principle.”
“No, it was more than that. It was like Alice knew her, and she wanted C’ndee to know she knew her. It was like she was sending some kind of signal.”
“Maybe it was disapproval,” Maddie said. “Alice is pretty modest, and did you see that skirt C’ndee had on?”
“Oh, yeah. And you know what Aunt Ida would have said about that skirt …” I began.
She finished, “ ‘Girl, go put on something decent! We can see clear to the Promised Land.’ ”
We’d almost made it to Maddie’s school when she turned off the radio and brought up the topic I thought I’d been lucky enough to avoid.
“You didn’t think I’d forget, did you? I’m a school principal. I can remember the names of two hundred students by heart.”
I squirmed around in the driver’s seat. But it was no use trying to get comfortable. The comfort zone my sister was violating wasn’t physical. It was emotional.
“Well?” she repeated. “What’s your problem with Carlos? After you patched things up on the Cracker Trail Ride, the man moved back here from Miami. But every time y’all get close to having something real, you find a reason to pick a fight or back off. I can’t believe you even asked him to give you some space. What a cliché, Mace.”
I could feel her eyes boring into me. My own gaze never left the road.
“He’s going to get tired of your hot-and-cold bit. And you’re not getting any younger. By the time you hit your mid-thirties, the bloom’s off the rose.”
I’m not vain, but I couldn’t resist a peek at myself in the rear-view mirror. Startling blue eyes looked back at me, my best feature, I’ve been told. But were those crow’s feet beginning to branch out around the corners? The Florida sun is no friend of fair skin.
Maddie pinched my arm. “Stop admiring yourself. You’re going to run us into a ditch. You’re just as pretty as ever. Men’s heads still turn at your figure, even though you’re usually hiding what you’ve got in those awful clothes. My point is it doesn’t last forever. Do you want to be a wrinkled old crone, living alone in your house in the woods, with a bunch of animals you treat like your kids?”
I remembered a homeless woman we’d seen once in downtown Fort Pierce. Dressed in several layers of mismatched clothes and muttering to herself, she was pushing a black carriage. A little dog sat inside, wearing a baby’s bonnet tied with a bow under the chin.
“No,” I said. “But maybe the reason I’m not ready to take it to the next level with Carlos is that he’s not ready either.”
“What do you mean?”
“He smothers me. And I know it’s because he hasn’t gotten over the awful way he lost his wife. I can’t live with someone who’s constantly afraid some kind of harm is going to come to me. I feel like I can’t breathe with the way he always needs to protect me.”
“Wanting to protect someone is not normally a bad thing, Mace.”
“It is when it’s motivated by guilt. The last time we were together, he woke up from a nightmare just drenched in sweat. His heart was pounding so hard, I could feel the vibration on my side of the bed.”
“Was he dreaming about his wife?”
I nodded.
I could barely get the image out of my head of how I found Ronnie. How must it be for Carlos, to replay the same murder scene over and over? Except in his case, the body lying bloodied on the floor was that of his beloved, pregnant wife.
Mama’s crazy Pomeranian threw himself against the front door, yowling as if I were an ax murderer come to slaughter the innocents inside.
“Hush, Teensy!” Mama’s command echoed from the kitchen. It worked just as well as usual. He ratcheted up, in both volume and intensity. I feared the dog might give himself a stroke, which would definitely take the fun out of our regular, gals-only Beginning of the Week Pizza Party.
“Will somebody come and get this dog?” I yelled through the window. “My hands are full of food.”
I knew that last part would bring Maddie running.
“Teensy!” My sister bellowed, using her scariest principal voice. The dog gave a final yip, and skedaddled back to the kitchen and Mama’s protection.
Opening the door, Maddie frowned. “What took you so long?”
“Good evening to you, too, Sister. Oh, no, that’s all right. You don’t have to thank me for going to get the pizza. For paying, either.” I performed a little bow. “It’s my pleasure. I exist to serve you.”
“Stop it, you two,” Marty called from the kitchen. “Did you get my cheese pizza, Mace?”
“You mean the meatless pizza you have every Monday night? No, Marty. It came to me suddenly as I was standing at the counter: Maybe Marty quit being a vegetarian. So, I ordered you the carnivore special. Hope that’s all right.”
“Sarcasm is an unattractive trait for a lady,” Mama shouted.
“So is yelling from the kitchen, Mama.”
I sidestepped Maddie and walked into the kitchen just in time to hear Mama whisper across the dinette to my little sister, “We’ll just have to ignore Mace’s sour mood, honey. She’s probably got her monthly visitor.”
“Too much information, Mama,” Maddie said, as she followed me in.