She removed her hand from the gear shift and let the SUV sit there and idle, the air-conditioner quickly cooling the passenger compartment. “Why are you apologizing?” she softly asked.
He shrugged.
She sensed she was talking to the other Brad, the more ethereal of the two.
She reached out and touched his arm. No vision, but he looked first at her hand, then his gaze traveled up until he met hers.
“Please keep an open mind,” he said. “About Ellis. He’s hurting. Not like you are, obviously. But his wounds are all self-inflicted and really, really deep. I think you’re the person who could finally help him heal himself.”
Her heart wanted to break, for Brad, for Ellis, for herself, and most of all for Julie. “Is that Julie telling you that, or you?”
“That’s all me.” He cocked his head again, listening to a voice she couldn’t hear. “She says believe. She keeps saying that over and over again. She says it a lot.”
“I’m doing my best,” she muttered as she shifted the vehicle into reverse, “but it’s hard to do sometimes.”
She didn’t need any prompting to find her way back to Ellis and Brad’s house. Ellis’ car sat parked outside the side door. She parked alongside it and shut the engine off.
Brad reached out and touched her arm again. “Can I buy you dinner tonight, or will we have time?”
She stared into his brown eyes. The more “there” Brad was back. “I’d like that a lot. Seven?”
He smiled. “Sounds good. Please, come in for a minute.”
She wanted to say no, fuck it, that Ellis would have to come to her if he wanted to make amends.
Mandaline realized how shallow and childish that sounded, even to her pained heart. Julie wouldn’t have turned tail and run like that. She’d never turned away from the hard stuff. She’d always faced things head-on.
Maybe that’s been my problem all along, I’ve always tried to turn away from the hard work, the unpleasant decisions.
She unfastened her seat belt and grabbed her cell phone and keys.
Ellis had been working at his desk, currently shoved in a far corner of what would eventually be their dining room, when he heard the vehicle drive up. With his pulse racing, he hurried over to the living room and peeked out the blinds.
Brad was leading Mandaline up to the house.
A sudden war broke out within him. Be sitting at his desk, nonchalant and detached, or meet them in the kitchen and grovel like fuck?
At the sound of the door opening his feet made the decision for him. He raced into the kitchen just as Brad came through the door, Mandaline behind him.
He noticed how her lips tightened into a thin line when she saw him.
He didn’t blame her.
“Look,” Ellis said, “before you say anything, I’m sorry. I was way far out of line last night. I don’t know what the hell got into me, but I hope you will give me a chance to make amends and accept my apology.”
Brad actually smiled. She looked a little taken aback, but she studied him for a moment.
“I mean,” he said, trying to fill the silence, “I don’t know what happened. Yes, something happened. I’m sure given enough time we’ll figure out what, but I never should have blamed you like that. I was scared and upset and really, really fucking stupid.”
At that, she exchanged a glance with Brad before a cautious smile curled her lips. “Thank you, Ellis. I appreciate that. That’s very big of you. I’m sorry I called you an asshole.”
“No, he deserved that,” Brad joked.
Ellis smiled, relieved. “He’s right, I did deserve that.” He stepped closer. “Please don’t make Brad pay for me being an idiot.”
Her brow furrowed. “What are you talking about?”
“The house. Please, if you want me to clear out while you’re here, anything. I’ll go to a hotel for a few days if you want so you don’t have to look at me. Anything.”
Now she seemed amused. “It’s okay. I forgive you.” She reached out and poked his arm. “This time.”
He let out a sigh of relief. “Thank you.”
“Can he come tonight, too?” Brad asked.
“Come where?” Ellis asked.
“I asked Mandaline out to dinner before the full-moon gathering. To which I’m going,” Brad added.
She considered him. “I’m willing to give him another chance. And yes, you’re welcomed to join us tonight at the gathering.”
He felt his face heat, but he didn’t want to lose the ground he’d apparently regained. “I’d love dinner. But I’m not sure I’d fit in at…the other thing.”
“Do you like to talk to people and make friends?” she asked.
“Yes?”
She grinned. “Are you asking me or telling me?”
He laughed. “Yes.”
She shrugged. “Sachi dubbed it the coffeeshop coven group, but we have all sorts of people who come out and we really don’t ‘do’ much. We do more talking and snacking than anything. But yes, we form a ring at the end of the night and someone usually says something. But it’s not like in the movies where people go dancing around skyclad and howling at the moon. I’m sure you’ll be suitably unimpressed.” Sadness drifted across her features. “I’m sure tonight we’ll all be talking about Julie.”
He needed to nut up and make amends. The least he could do would be to stay open-minded. “Okay. Yes. If you don’t mind me being there, sure. I’d be happy to come.”
Brad grinned. “See? That wasn’t so hard, was it?”
Chapter Twelve
When Mandaline left, Brad went upstairs to work but left the attic door open. A few minutes later, Ellis followed him upstairs. He found Brad sitting in front of an easel with a large sketch pad open on it. He held a sketch pencil in his hand and looked deep in thought.
Ellis turned around to go back downstairs but Brad spoke. “It’s okay. That’s why I left the door open.”
Ellis cleared his throat as he stepped into the doorway. “Look, I’m sorry about last night.”
Brad nodded, but he had a faraway look on his face. The pristine paper seemed to hold his interest, but whatever he saw was still locked inside his brain and hadn’t made it through his fingers to the page yet.
“I don’t know if I even want to know what those visions or whatever they are…are,” Ellis said.
“Just believe.” Brad reached out and drew a few lines, quickly, with short, confident flicks of his wrist. “That’s all you have to do.”
“I’m not like that. You know how I am.”
Brad slowly nodded. It was almost like he was caught in a dream state between two worlds. “I know. You’d rather have evidence than faith.”
“It’s not that, it’s just…” He didn’t know what it was. “I need a rational explanation for things. I need proof.”
“Like with what I’m seeing and feeling.” He finally focused his gaze on Ellis. “You need proof there’s nothing in this house causing my symptoms so you can force me back to the VA.”
Brad’s tone sounded gentle, but the words bit through Ellis’ heart. “Buddy, please. You know I’m worried about you.”
“But I’m not worried about me right now. That’s my point.” He returned his attention to the sketch pad, where he added a few more lines. “You do more worrying than you need to.”
“I just want to take care of you.”
“I know, and I appreciate it. But you have to take care of Ellis, too.”
“I do take care of myself.”
“You use me as an excuse to avoid the truth.” He looked at Ellis again. “Believe. That’s all you have to do. Trust me, trust Mandaline, and believe.”
He stared at Brad for a few moments. “What do you want from me?”