“So what do you feel like watching?” Ellis asked. He held up the remote. “Or do you want to pick?”
She shook her head. “I don’t want to think tonight. I don’t want anything sad. You pick.”
“I’d say cartoons,” Brad suggested with a grin, “but Ellis isn’t a fan.”
Mandaline giggled. “Aww, but he has other redeeming features.” Yep, the wine is kicking in now.
“That’s not true,” Ellis said. “About the cartoons, not the redeeming features,” he clarified. “I love Scooby-Doo and The Flintstones. I’m just not a fan of anime like he is.”
“You pick,” she insisted again. The heat from both their bodies was proving very distracting to her concentration, maybe even more than the effects of the wine. She grabbed Brad’s arm and draped it around her waist as she rolled onto her side and threw her arm over Ellis’ chest.
He looked down at her, a playful smile on his face. “You comfy?” She didn’t miss the hard bulge expanding against the front of his shorts. She felt another hard bulge pressing against the seam of her ass through her underwear as Brad snuggled close.
“Uh-huh.” She closed her eyes and pressed her face against his warm shoulder. “Just pick something.” A large yawn broke through.
“Okay.”
Brad lifted his head as Ellis channel surfed. He looked at Mandaline. “She fell asleep,” he whispered.
Ellis nodded. “I figured she would.”
He looked at Ellis. “You realize you need to back off, right?”
“You lost me.”
He tried again. “You need to quit wearing the world on your shoulders. I’m not going to drop dead if you take a few minutes for yourself here or there.”
A stubborn frown crossed his face.
He didn’t want to wake Mandaline, but he wanted this out in the open. “I can’t begin to tell you how much I love and appreciate you and everything you’ve done for me. But for this to work, you have to learn to work as an equal partner now. Everything’s going to be okay.” He smiled. “Now you’ve got backup.” He nodded toward her. “With her. Seriously, it’s time for you to breathe and relax. We will all take care of each other. Okay?”
He finally nodded. He was sure this wasn’t the last time they’d have this conversation, but he was glad Ellis finally seemed open to having it. Maybe he could get his friend to finally relax and enjoy life again.
With that settled, Brad tried to temper his own sexual frustration, knowing that was selfish as well as childish. “I have to admit it’s not exactly how I hoped the evening would end.”
Ellis looked over at him. “I’m just glad she’s going to be sleeping in bed with us. I got tired real fast of waking up to make you roll over because you were spooning me.”
Brad stuck his tongue out at him. “You didn’t have to pinch my nipple that one time.”
“You wouldn’t roll over. Sorry, buddy, I love you, but I don’t want your woody pressing against my ass.”
“Yeah, well, this woody isn’t going away anytime soon on its own.”
“Go rub one out in the bathroom. Just don’t wake her up. She needs the sleep.” Ellis settled on Spaceballs and put the remote down. “I’ll be taking a turn of my own later anyway.”
Brad carefully extricated himself from the bed and headed to the bathroom.
Ellis somehow managed to stifle his laugh at the pout on Brad’s face as he left the bedroom. No, this wasn’t how he’d hoped to spend the evening, but it wasn’t the worst-case scenario, either.
Worst-case, he’d worried they’d spend the evening with her crying on their shoulders after completing the emotional task of sorting through her friend’s belongings.
Not that he would have minded doing it, but it ripped him apart that he couldn’t make her happy, couldn’t take the pain away for her.
Couldn’t make love to her to distract her and bring some joy to her life.
He’d even picked up a couple of boxes of condoms and a bottle of lube at the store, just in case.
Not like they’ll go bad.
After the incident with Carl, he could understand why she was nervous about getting into another relationship. Especially since he’d been an ass to her.
And he knew Brad was right, that it was time to ease up. He just wasn’t very good at not taking charge, of not feeling responsible.
Maybe together the two of them could help him learn how to relax.
He tipped his head to the side, so his cheek rested against Mandaline’s hair, and closed his eyes to listen to the sound of her slow and steady breathing.
One step closer. I promise I won’t hurt you again. And I damn sure won’t let anything else hurt you if I have anything to say about it.
Chapter Twenty
Mandaline opened her eyes to clear, blue sky. The warm sun soaked into her skin. She knew she lay in soft grass because she could feel it against her arms, smell the fresh scent.
“Beautiful day, isn’t it?”
She sat up. Julie smiled at her from where she also lay in the grass, just a few feet away.
Mandaline truly didn’t know what to say.
Julie cocked her head to look at her, but didn’t sit up. “How long will you keep putting off the inevitable?”
“Are you a dream, or are you really here with me?”
Julie shrugged. “Does it matter? All you have to do is believe. It’s as easy as that.”
“I love you, sister.”
Sadness washed across Julie’s features. “I love you, too. That’s why you need to quit stalling.”
Mandaline didn’t need signal flares to know what she meant. “How am I supposed to do that?”
Julie finally sat up. “You are entrenched in this false belief that following your heart with them is somehow disrespectful to my memory. That’s just bullshit you’re using to allow your fears to rule you.”
“How am I supposed to do this without you?” Hot tears slid down her face. She hugged her knees to her chest and slowly rocked in place. “If I fuck up, I’m all alone.”
“No, you’re not alone. You have Ellis and Brad, and Sachi, and Libbie, and all the rest. They will be there for you. You won’t fuck things up.”
“I’ve never run a business before.”
“This isn’t about the shop. And let’s face it, you were doing far more of the daily paperwork than I was there at the end.” She cocked her head at her again. “Here’s the thing. It’s not your grief keeping me here. It’s your fear. I’m stuck here, unable to move on, until you finally move on.”
Mandaline looked around for the first time. They were sitting outside a house she didn’t recognize. The old house looked to be in dire need of TLC. An old Victorian-style wooden home, in the middle of several acres. “Where are we?”
Julie raised an eyebrow at her. “I think you know.”
“Sami’s house?”
Julie nodded. She leaned over and rested her hand on Mandaline’s arm. Her touch felt solid, corporeal. “I’m not in any pain. I’m actually eager to see what lies ahead. But I can’t. You’ve bound yourself to me too strongly.”
“Why did you talk to Brad and not me for so long?”
She smiled. “I needed you to know you couldn’t give up on them. If I hadn’t, you would have blown Ellis out of the water, slammed the door on the possibility of loving them, and walked away to be miserable for the rest of your life. Besides, Ellis and Brad need you. And you need them.”
The scene changed again and they were in the store. It was nighttime outside, and only some of the lights were on inside.