“Will we see you when we get to Rome?” Felix asked.
All I could do was shrug and say that I hoped so, but I did not know. With that, we shook hands before I turned to Diocles, who was standing nearby trying not to look worried, without much success. On his skinny shoulders fell the responsibility of following me with all of my belongings that I could not carry on horseback or the one pack animal I had commandeered, despite not knowing exactly where I was headed beyond Rome. A number of slaves that had come into my possession over the last few years were included in my household, not counting those that were leased out to others, and now Diocles was in charge of all of it. Despite the fact that he had not been in my household for much more than a year, I had come to trust him implicitly, not only in the matter of running my affairs, but in his judgment about all manner of things. However, this was by far the biggest challenge during his time with me, and I could see that he was very concerned, despite doing what I could to assure him that I had complete confidence in him. I would have embraced him, but that would not have been seemly in front of others for a master to show that level of regard for a slave, so instead I shook his hand as an equal, which was probably only marginally better in the eyes of some of those watching. With that, I mounted the courier’s horse, grabbed the lead of the animal that had been hurriedly packed with my most necessary belongings, and I left the camp at a trot, heading for Caesar.
Chapter 7- Thapsus
I rode from before dawn until well after dark, stopping only when I was completely exhausted or when the horses were in danger of foundering. Then, I would throw myself down on the ground, wrapping myself in my cloak, trying to get a few thirds of a watch of sleep. In this manner, I covered about 70 miles a day, sometimes more and sometimes, but not often, a little less. Every two or three days, I would run into a courier heading somewhere at Caesar’s command, carrying instructions to provincial governors. Through them, in bits and pieces, I learned more details of what had happened with the Spanish Legions in Rome, although it was little enough. The biggest and, I suppose, best piece of news was that somehow things had been worked out to the point that the Spanish Legions were now marching with Caesar down the peninsula. From there, they would take ship for Sicily to prepare for the invasion of Africa, since Africa was where Scipio, Cato, and the rest of the Pompeian generals that had escaped from Pharsalus had fled. It was from these couriers that I learned that if I went to Rome, I would arrive weeks after the Spanish Legions had packed up to begin marching down the peninsula, so I made the decision that I would stop at Brundisium to see Gisela, Vibi, and my new baby daughter. I could not stay long, and in truth, I was not sure it was a good idea, thinking that it might make things worse between us instead of better, but I wanted to see my family. Making it to Dyrrhachium in September, I was forced to wait for two weeks before the winds were right to get a ship to Brundisium, sailing into port shortly before dark.
It is hard for me to describe how nervous I was, walking from the docks to the apartment. I was suddenly worried that Gisela and the children might have moved and I did not know it. Yet when I got to the building, the same people lived on the lower floor, and while they were surprised to see me, they assured me that Gisela still lived on the upper floor. Mounting the steps, yet another thought assailed me, this one much darker and more disturbing. Would she be alone? While I did not think she would be unfaithful, I knew of too many other men who had thought the same thing, only to be wrong, and things had not been exactly harmonious between us when I left. For a moment, I turned to leave. Yet, as much as I dreaded the idea of discovering that she had indeed taken a lover, the need to know was even stronger, so I continued up the steps, making sure that I trod heavily to give her some warning of my coming. Then I found myself standing before the door, knocking once, then twice. Finally, on the third try, I heard a stirring from inside, followed by the sound of the latch being raised. The door opened, and I was face to face with my wife for the first time in almost two years. She was as beautiful as I remembered her, so I drank in the sight of her, eyes wide in shock, tendrils of hair framing her face, the color draining from it at the sight of me. Before I could say a word, she collapsed at my feet in a dead faint.
~ ~ ~ ~
After Gisela fell to the floor, I heard a pair of small feet scurrying from the other room. A little boy burst into view, a look of alarm and fear on his chubby face. He stopped short when he saw me, and we stood staring at each other for a moment before I knelt by Gisela. Then, letting out a howl of rage, he came charging at me, his little fists bunched up, his face contorted in anger.
“You leave my mama alone,” he howled.
Before I could react, he was flailing at me with his fists, and I am proud to say that he hit hard.
“Vibi, it’s all right.” I tried to keep my voice soothing, but I was having a hard time of it since I was trying not to laugh. “It’s me, it’s Tata.”
This had no effect whatsoever, at least the first five or six times I said it, but he began to lose energy and the words I was saying began to sink in. Gradually, he stopped, his little chest heaving, his face bright red as his chin began to quiver. In the time I had been away, he had of course grown, but even more striking was his resemblance to my sisters, Valeria in particular. The fact that Valeria and I favored each other meant that he looked like me as well, yet that was not the first thought that struck me when I looked at him. Gisela had begun to stir, and at her first movement, both Vibi and I looked down at her in time to see her eyes flutter open. She then tried to focus on my face.
Finally, she spoke in a weak voice. “Titus, is it really you?”
“Yes, love. It’s really me.”
“Tata?” Vibi’s voice wavered, all traces of anger gone, and I answered him with a smile.
“Yes, Vibi. It’s Tata. I’ve come home to see my big boy.”
Suddenly, he burst into tears. Instead of coming to me, he threw himself into Gisela’s arms, while I tried not to show how much it hurt. I had tried to prepare myself for a variety of reactions; after all, I had been gone for most of the boy’s life, so I kept telling myself that I should not expect him to remember me, or to throw himself immediately into my arms. Still, it hurt. Gisela had lifted herself onto an elbow, and I bent down, picking her up around the waist then lifting her to her feet, with Vibi clinging to her neck, bawling his eyes out. One of her arms shot out to grab around my neck, squeezing so hard that I started to see stars because she was cutting off my air, and we stood there like that for some time, all of us sobbing. We smothered each other with kisses, then quickly enough, Vibi demanded equal attention from me, transferring himself from Gisela’s arms to mine.
“Mama?”
I turned to see the most beautiful child I had ever laid eyes on, a vision of perfection with sleepy eyes and tawny red hair the color of her mother’s. Her eyes were green just like Gisela’s, but her coloring was more like mine, providing a contrast that was hypnotic. She stood there holding a rag doll, obviously just awakened from the disturbance. Unlike Vibi, her expression was neither of anger nor fear, just curiosity.
“It’s Tata,” Vibi said with that mixture of disdain and superiority that all older siblings use when they want to show off in front of others. “He’s come home.”