We kept our weapons, although Caesar did have us stack our arms and allowed us to take seats on the ground while he entered the palace proper. He also ordered that his two Primi Pili, meaning me, and the Primus Pilus of the 28th, a man named Gnaeus Cartufenus, to accompany him and his senior officers into the palace. Gnaeus Cartufenus was about ten years my senior, but he had spent most of his career in garrison or frontier postings and did not have a fraction of the combat experience that I had, Thankfully, Cartufenus recognized his lack of experience and despite being technically senior, he usually deferred to me over questions concerning tactics. That was how Cartufenus and I were present for what happened next. Caesar formed us up, with Cartufenus and I naturally bringing up the rear, then marched into the palace. It was hard not to gawk and I was relieved that at least Cartufenus had the same problem. We had never seen anything so ornate; it seemed that everything was covered in gold, with even the most common objects made of precious metals and encrusted in jewels. That, however, was not the strange part. All around us were statues of the most bizarre creatures I had ever seen before, or since for that matter. A man’s body with the head of what looked like a dog was just one example, and as I looked more closely, I felt my skin crawling. If that was indeed a statue, it was made out of a substance I had never seen before, making me queasy as I wondered if what I was seeing was a real man. There were several stuffed crocodiles, their eyes replaced by gems like emeralds and rubies. We were marching down a very long passageway, and if I squinted, I could just make out what appeared to be a throne at the far end, and I recognized that this was all for the effect of overawing visitors like us. Lining the walls were dozens of men and women, most of the men dressed in the same style as Pothinus and Paulinus, while the women were wearing almost nothing at all, most of them lounging on couches. They all had their faces painted in what I was quickly learning was their fashion, and they were engaged in a variety of activities. Some of them were puffing on what I took to be some sort of pipe, although it was more elaborate than anything I had ever seen before. Meanwhile, others seemed to be engaged in some sort of sexual activity, and only the discipline of many years, along with a healthy fear of drawing Caesar’s displeasure, kept me from openly staring. Cartufenus was not quite so successful, and I had to nudge him a time or two. Now that we were closer, I saw that the throne was empty, but arrayed before it stood Pothinus and a number of other creatures like him. Caesar ordered us to halt as he stood a few feet away from Pothinus, and I saw that one of the creatures next to Pothinus held a small wicker basket.
Caesar spoke, “Greetings to the House of Ptolemy. I am Gaius Julius Caesar of the Julii, direct descendant of the goddess Venus, Consul of Rome and I hold the imperium granted me by Rome, which gives me the authority to engage in treaties and adjudicate disputes. I am here to see Ptolemy XIV and pay my respects.”
Pothinus’ heavily made up face was a mask, making it almost impossible to read his expression, which, as I would come to learn, was one of the main reasons they did as much.
He bowed when Caesar was finished, and said, “Alas Caesar, I am desolate.”
Caesar raised an eyebrow. “And why, may I ask, Pothinus are you made desolate by my visit?”
Pothinus held his hands out and while his voice throbbed with emotion, it was disconcerting to see the completely blank expression as he said, “It is not your visit that is so distressing Caesar. It is that our glorious Pharaoh Ptolemy, Lord of the Two Ladies Upper and Lower Egypt, Master of Sedge and Bee, Child of Amun-Ra, Isis and Ptah is not here.”
For the second time in a day, Caesar was nonplussed “Not here? You mean not in the palace?”
Pothinus shook his head. “No, great Caesar. I mean that he is not in Alexandria. He is with his army, a few days’ march away from here.”
“Very well, then I will see his wife. Or his sister, however which you wish to style her.”
Now I was confused; it was not until a day or so later that I learned the custom of the Ptolemaic dynasty that brother and sister also be man and wife, which I find despicable. But Pothinus knew exactly what he meant and for the first time I thought I detected a crack in his mask, matched by a tone of uncertainty when he answered Caesar.
“Alas, Caesar, that is not possible either.”
“Ah, so she is with her husband then?”
I had been with Caesar long enough to recognize his tone; he was asking a question to which he already knew the answer. Since this was undoubtedly one of his many tests that he subjected people to, I felt a glimmer of sympathy for Pothinus, but it passed. Now Pothinus began fidgeting with his hands, and despite his face still looking serene, there was no mistaking the distress when he answered, “No, not exactly, Caesar. It would appear that our beloved queen Cleopatra has fallen prey to listening to evil counsel. She has raised an army in rebellion against her husband.”
“Ah,” Caesar repeated, then said gently, “that’s not very good, is it?”
Pothinus shook his head vigorously, agreeing with Caesar that it indeed was not very good.
Caesar spoke again, his voice becoming brisk. “Rome cannot afford to have strife in this region since it will impact our grain supply. Therefore, I will adjudicate this dispute between the two and come to a decision about how to resolve it. You will send for Ptolemy at once, and I will send for Cleopatra and have her escorted here safely.”
Pothinus’ body went rigid, whether it was from anger or fear I do not know which, but his voice was controlled. “I will send word immediately, Caesar, but that is all I can do. Ptolemy is sovereign and this is his kingdom. I do not think he will take kindly to being summoned.”
“If he knows what is best for his people, he will come,” Caesar was curt. He turned to us, indicating that we were leaving. Turning back, he said, “I will of course be your guest here at the palace while we wait. I assume that meets with your approval?”
Pothinus bowed, and I marveled at his self-control as he said smoothly, “I would have it no other way, Caesar. We would be most honored if you availed yourself of these quarters, humble as they may be.”
I fought back an urge to laugh, but only just and I could see I was not alone. Before we turned to leave, Pothinus asked us to wait. “While I am sorry that we could not accommodate everything you requested at this moment, Caesar, I do have a gift that I think will help put us in a more favorable light.”
Caesar turned back, eyebrow lifted. “Oh, and what would this precious gift be?”
Turning to the creature next to him, Pothinus took the basket from his hands, holding it out to Caesar. Caesar took a step forward and at Pothinus' signal, the creature next to him lifted the lid of the basket with one hand, and with the other raised the object inside so it could be viewed by all. Caesar recoiled in horror, although it took me a moment for what I was seeing to register, before shooting a quick glance at Cartufenus, who was standing, mouth agape, as dumbfounded as I was. For as you probably know, gentle reader, that precious gift was the head of Gnaeus Pompeius Magnus, preserved in some sort of oil.
Caesar quickly gathered his composure, his face becoming a mask very much like that worn by Pothinus, but one did not have to know Caesar well to hear the barely controlled rage in his voice when he spoke.
“Put his. . him back in the basket,” he spoke through clenched teeth, whereupon the creature dropped Pompey's head back in with a thud, almost causing Pothinus to lose his grip. “This act brings great shame on the house of Ptolemy. Shame! Do you understand me?”
Pothinus was clearly taken aback, along with all the other creatures, their expressions mirroring ours from a moment before as they looked at each other in shock and confusion.