My muscles are tight and my brain is telling me I’m being a fucking idiot the whole time I walk down the hall, toward her office in the back.
Bee’s sitting on a black couch wearing a pair of jeans and a shirt with slits in the sleeves. For the first time, she’s not wearing makeup. It doesn’t make her any less gorgeous, maybe younger and a little more innocent.
The light in the room flashes off the small diamond in her nose.
I’ve never been back here before. Boxes are everywhere. Next to her sits her cell phone.
“I said not today. I’m in a shitty mood.”
Her eyes are red and puffy like she’s been crying. For some reason, I can’t stop looking at them. Tears seem like such a foreign thing. They would be from me and they seem like they should be from her too. Mom always cried a lot. Laney too. I never wanted to deal with a woman’s tears. Still, I don’t turn around and leave. “That makes two of us. All the more reason we both need the distraction of Masquerade.”
She picks up her phone, turning it over and over in her hand.
“Distractions aren’t always a good thing. You have to face your life head-on and keep moving. No matter how confused you are or how much something hurts, you keep going.”
I haven’t known her long, but those aren’t her words. “Whoever said that doesn’t know shit. They haven’t been through anything.”
She sighs and looks up at me. “But she has. My family has been through worse things than I have, because they didn’t know what happened. They deal with it better than I do.”
“What happened?” I squeeze the doorknob, shocked and pissed the question came out.
“Nothing.”
“I hung up on my mom not an hour ago. She was wrong, but me even more so. Not because of that. For… things I won’t tell you. Stuff I probably never will.” The words sound harsh but somehow I know she’ll understand them.
For the first time, real, honest sadness shows on her face—in her eyes. Not because of me, but for whatever she’s dealing with. “And I’ll never ask. You’re lucky your mom is wrong sometimes. Mine never is. She’s perfect and loving and understanding, even though she doesn’t get me.”
She bites her bottom lip, looking unsure.
“And you’re not perfect. Neither am I. I’ll never give you shit for that. I get it.”
This time, I can’t read the look she gives me, but I don’t have long to try. Bee pushes to her feet, slowly walking over to me. I notice the swells of her breasts from the V-neck of her shirt and her slender hips. Her purposeful steps and sexy lips.
Fuck, do I want her.
Bee stops right in front of me, the heat of lust and need rolling off her. I don’t question what she wants, just pull the neck of her shirt down and press my mouth to the star on one shoulder, then the other before tracing it with my tongue.
“I guess that means you’re okay with this?” Her voice is breathless as she drops her head back.
“I shouldn’t be, but I am so fucking okay with this.”
Chapter Seven ~Bee~
Most women probably would have walked out when he said he didn’t want to be okay with it, but just like Maddox said about me, I get it.
Those three simple words helped to calm the storm inside me. No one has ever told me they got it—that they got me. It was awkward when I came home. My family tried too hard to be what I needed and even though it kills me to admit it, what I needed was Melody and Rex.
I tried to be who my real family expected me to be and I know they tried to understand me. Tried to make sense of the connection I felt with the people who took me away. And as I got older, they tried to understand the girl who was different from most of the other girls at school but didn’t care. The one who became obsessed with tattooing and didn’t go to college like my sister, the one who moves around.
I’m the only Malone who didn’t go to school and they’ve never come out and told me I’m a disappointment to them, but the truth is, I know I have to be. That even though they try to “get” me—and the fact that I’m blunt and don’t have a plan other than Masquerade or the ink that’s such a part of me—they don’t.
“I know you want this but remember Masquerade might not work out. Odds are it won’t. It’s important to have something to fall back on.”
“Your sister is doing so well. She might possibly be making top of her class.”
I don’t want another plan besides Masquerade. It’s what I love and I needed their help. So what, I’m not doing as well and they have never met a guy I’ve dated in my life. Those things are so little… only to them, they make me different. The lone Malone who isn’t like the rest.
Thoughts of the phone call with Mom are replaced by Maddox. He said he gets me and there isn’t anything inside me that doesn’t believe him.
“We’re still on the same page, right? Original rules apply?” I shiver as he speaks into my neck, somehow his lips still kissing the tender skin there simultaneously.
“Don’t worry. I’m not the type of girl who sleeps with someone and thinks she’s destined to be with him forever.”
That seems to be all the motivation Maddox needs. He pulls me closer, higher into his arms. My legs automatically wrap around his waist. His mouth is on mine now, kissing me more slowly than he did the first night. More like a girlfriend than a lover, and it makes me pull away. “More,” I tell him as he walks me over to the couch.
“Then stop talking.”
“Pushy, pushy.”
“You’re still doing it,” Maddox grits out before his lips are on mine. He doesn’t lose his groove as he lays me on the couch, fitting between my legs. His erection grinds against me as his tongue explores my mouth.
He knows what he’s doing. I realized that the first night, but even more so now. One of his hands expertly unbuttons my pants, his lips and hips still moving. I tug slightly at his hair, hearing a moan from him.
Then he’s kissing down my neck and taking off my shirt. His tongue swirls around my belly button. “Oh God,” I say huskily as that beginning tingle already forms in the pit of my stomach.
“This is hot.” Maddox nips at my belly-button ring.
“All piercings are hot.”
Maddox slides my zipper down and I lift my hips while he slowly pulls my jeans down. “I want to get my nipple done.”
My eyes widen at that. I’m not sure if he’s joking or not. “I’ll do it for you.”
“Hell no.”
A laugh tumbles out of my mouth. When it hits my ears, I snap my mouth closed. I don’t think I’ve ever laughed during sex. Not in a good way at least.
Suddenly Maddox feels too close. My body is hungry for him, enjoying him and begging for more, but all sorts of thoughts are rolling through me. He gets me… I’m laughing with him… It feels too close.
As soon as my jeans are gone, my panties follow and then he’s pushing a finger inside and I don’t have to remind myself not to laugh. My emotions are safely tucked away and I allow myself to feel.
Feel his finger pump in and out and feel his mouth as he teases my breasts through my bra.
With his teeth he somehow lowers one cup and then, “Oh God,” I gasp as his mouth covers my sensitive peak.
The heat in my belly is building higher and hotter, but I’m not ready to finish yet. Neither of us will let ourselves do this again and he’s so good at what he does that I don’t want to go over that ledge without him. I want to take the plunge with Maddox, which is strange in itself, but I don’t know how to really say that.
“I don’t need the foreplay.”