A couple minutes later, a girl with short black hair walks in. “Hi. We spoke last week. I have an appointment for a tattoo.” She smiles at me.
“Yep. I have a few ideas here if you want to check them out. I’m not sure exactly what kind of look you’re going for.” She walks over to my desk and looks down. There are a couple aspects of two designs she likes, so after we chat for a minute, I put together another quick drawing for her.
“You can have a seat.” I nod toward the chair. “Maddox will set everything up for us…” My feet plant in place on my way to the sink as my words die off. Maddox won’t be doing anything for us today because he’s not here. Goose bumps pebble across my arms. I wanted nothing more than Masquerade to be only mine, and now my brain is automatically going to Maddox being here to help me like working with him is something I’ve always done.
The bumps spread up my neck but I fight to ignore them. It’s a slipup, that’s all.
“Scratch that. I’m setting up. I forgot he’s not here today.” I hand the girl the release and get a copy of her ID. After things are signed and taken care of, I lay the drawing on her ankle so the ink transfers to her skin.
“Right here?” Scooting back, I nod at her leg.
“Perfect.”
The rest of the routine happens as easily as breathing: getting the ink, washing my hands, paper towels, Vaseline, putting together the gun, opening a new needle, gloves. And then I rub Vaseline on her and it’s needle to skin. She gives a small jump at first, then relaxes comfortably.
“Is this your first ink?” The needle skates a line. Her skin is easy, like butter. It’s perfect for tattooing.
“Yeah. I’ve always wanted a tattoo, though.”
“Whose name is it?” Glancing up at her, I see her cheeks go pink.
“You don’t want to know.”
Which means it’s a boyfriend. I smile as I continue concentrating on what I’m doing. “Don’t let anyone give you shit. Some people are like that no matter what your tattoo is of. You might regret it one day, and you might not, but at this point in time it’s important to you. Even if that changes, this will be a memory. If he turns out to be an asshole, it will be your reminder about the kind of guy you don’t want or if you stay together, then there’s the obvious there.” After pulling the gun from her skin, I wipe her leg, dip in my ink, and then rub more Vaseline on her before starting again. “And if you want it gone, it’s not like we can’t come up with something kick-ass to cover it up.” I wink at her and she looks relieved.
“Thank you. You’re the only person who’s not giving me a hard time about it. Elliott… he’s had cancer before. He’s okay now, but you never know, right? I think it’s important. I want a piece of him with me all the time and no one understands that.”
I think about the ink on my body. The sunflower, the Gemini, my stars. I remember Mom’s reaction when I came home with my Gemini sign. How she was upset, then made the comment about how at least it was only one and it was small. Little did she know I’d keep going…
Looking up at her again, I tell her, “They don’t have to understand.” Most people don’t.
We’re quiet after that as I continue to engrave Elliott’s name into her. It’s crazy, loving someone like that. I can’t imagine ever doing it myself but I’d never give someone else hell for it. And then… Rex and Melody loved me enough—or they loved the idea of a child enough—to steal for one and that reminds me how possessive the feeling is supposed to be.
It only takes about fifteen minutes to finish her tattoo. Her eyes get teary when I’m finished and this swell of pride blooms in my stomach. This little flash of Mom fills my head, this foreign wish that she got this. That on some level, she didn’t love me because she has to but because she understands me.
It doesn’t take me long to get things cleaned up. I look around online for a little while, check the supplies, and then go back to my chair, drumming my fingernails on the desk.
It’s not strange without Maddox here. It’s not strange without Maddox here. Only it is and that kind of sucks. It’s cool having him to talk to and to come up with tattoo ideas with and, hell, to give him shit. The knife twists in my stomach at the thought. At the strange way I actually miss him.
“I really need to go out and have a good time tonight,” I mumble. My phone rings, my hand shooting out to grab it like I’m expecting an important phone call or something. “Hello?”
“Hi… Bee? This is Laney. Maddox’s sister.”
My heart jumps a little. Maddox isn’t here. If something is wrong, Maddox isn’t here again and that will kill him. “Hey… is everything okay?”
“Yeah. I’m fine. God, you sound like my brother.” She laughs and I frown. The urge to say, I do not, dances on my tongue, but I ignore it.
“I wanted to tell you I’m having a little get-together for my birthday next weekend. Nothing big or anything. Just Adrian, Cheyenne, Colt, and Maddy. I’d love it if you could come.”
I fight down the instinct to blurt out a no. She’s nice and she’s Maddox’s sister, so I don’t want to be a bitch. And I want to go. At least, I think I want to go. But my thoughts start running. It doesn’t take a genius to see where she’s going with this. That it will be two couples and then Maddox and I. Maddox doesn’t see how alike they are. He and Laney are both fixers. I can see her trying to fix him by setting him up. The difference between them is she would do it for anyone and he would only go there for her.
Besides, I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t want me at this party. I’m pretty sure I shouldn’t want to be there either. Not after the other night at his house, and hell, how everything has been between us since we met each other.
“Saturday or Sunday?” That’s not a no. I should be saying no.
“Sunday. You guys are closed, right?”
“Usually, but I actually have someone coming in this Sunday, so I’m not sure if I can make it.”
“Oh.”
There’s no doubt in my mind that she knows I’m lying. I can’t seem to say yes or no, though. “I’ll see what I can do. I’d love to come but it depends on Masquerade, okay? I’ll keep you posted.”
“Okay. I really hope you can make it.” She pauses for a second. “Is my brother there?”
“No. He had to work extra today. Ever since they made him head of security, he’s had to pull some extra shifts.”
This time her pause is so long I wonder if I said something wrong. “Maddy got a promotion?”
Dropping backward, I lean against the back of the seat. Shit. This isn’t my business to be in the middle of. “Yeah, it wasn’t that long ago, though. I’m sure he spaced telling you.”
At that Laney laughs, though it’s not a happy sound. “You don’t have to cover for him. That’s Maddox. He never talks to me about anything. Maybe one day.”
“I’m sorry,” I say, not quite sure why.
“Yeah,” she whispers. “Me too.”
* * *
It’s 11:00 p.m. and I’m standing in front of Lunar, dressed for a night out. A million times I’ve told myself it’s only because I want to go out and Lunar is the only cool place close by. I haven’t decided if it’s the truth or not.
Having a good time is definitely high on my list, though, because I didn’t even bring my car. I want to be able to drink and have fun, so it’s a cab kind of night.
As soon as I step inside, the colored lights flash in my face. The loud music pumps through me, filling me with the urge to dance. My first stop is the bar. Trevor is there like always with two other guys I don’t recognize. There’s a ton of people up here, so while I wait, I fight the urge to look around for Maddox. It doesn’t matter where he is because I’m not here for him.
Trevor glances up and catches my eye. He smiles and I shake my head before he makes it down to me. “Beer?”