Laney shakes her head. “Which obviously she screwed up on purpose because she was angry that Dad and Maddox were paying attention to me. I cried again and then Mom and Dad walked away and got into an argument. Maddox came back over and said we’d make another one but then we had to leave. We never went back to the beach after that.”
It wasn’t long after that everything went to shit. Dad got drunk and killed Adrian’s son.
I shrug. “Thought I’d keep my promise. No one can fuck this one up.” At that I turn for the door, really needing some space for a minute. “I need a smoke. I’ll be right back.”
Behind me, I slam the door, wanting nothing more than to get the hell out of here.
Chapter Twenty-One ~Bee~
Laney stands as though she’s going to go after Maddox. Adrian grabs her hand, while at the same time I ask, “Can I go?” I’m not sure what makes me think I will be any good talking with him, but there’s this pull coming from deep within me, drawing me his way.
“Yeah… of course.” She sits back down and I’m already halfway to the door, not quite sure when I even started moving.
Behind me, I close it softly and walk down the stairs in search of Maddox. There’s a strange tingle in my belly. It’s not quite nerves, though definitely not excitement either. Whatever it is, I concentrate on the fact that I called off Maddox’s sister—the only person he really cares about—so I could go and talk to him myself.
The first place I can think to look is by his bike. Maddox is sitting on the curb, cigarette in hand. Even from behind, I can see how rigid and tense his body is. What he did back there was huge for him and honestly I’m surprised he did it.
“You know I’d have to kick your ass if you tried to leave without me, right?” Stepping next to him, I hope light is the best way to play this.
He doesn’t reply.
I walk past Maddox to his bike and throw my leg over it, grip the handles that feel welcome in my hands. “Did you decide I can drive it yet?”
He takes another drag of his cigarette but doesn’t reply.
“It’s been a while since I’ve had a good ride—I mean drive.”
At that he looks up at me through his dark lashes and half his mouth rises in a smile.
“Hasn’t been that long.”
“Of course you speak when I start in with the sexual innuendoes.”
Maddox puts his cigarette out on the concrete, reaches into his pocket, pulls out a mint, and pops it into his mouth. “What are you doing out here, Bee?”
Still sitting on the bike, I let go of the handles so I’m straight. “I would have thought that was pretty obvious.” I pause for a few seconds, then add, “The drawing was incredible, Scratch.”
He rubs a hand across the dark brown stubble on his face, then smiles cockily. “I know.”
An unwelcome warmth spreads through me. Damn he’s gorgeous. “Then why are we out here?”
“You know why.”
Yeah, yeah, I do. Because he’s like me. It’s hard to open yourself up for people. I wonder if he also fears that people who are important to him won’t like what they see. “You knew it would be hard going into it. Before you gave it to her—hell, when you drew it—but you did it anyway. That’s something.” Something I wouldn’t do. All Maddox has is Laney and he tries to be there for her. I have a whole family of people who love me and I run away from them. Guilt ignites a wildfire that scorches through me.
“Yeah?” he asks.
“Yeah.” He’s staring at me with those deep gray eyes of his. My skin savors the feel of them on me but my brain makes me turn away. It’s too much, especially knowing I like his gaze there.
“You looked like you were getting along well with them—Laney and Cheyenne.”
His change of subject is surprising and welcoming at the same time. “She’s cool. I like her. I didn’t go to school when I was younger, so I didn’t really hang out with a lot of girls in high school. I lived in a wealthy area and most of the girls weren’t too into hanging out with the chick who had her nose pierced and didn’t date guys but had sex.”
Two things spar for my attention at once. First, I told him something about myself. The words had come out without a thought. The second is that for the first time, I feel a little embarrassed about my past. It’s not that I’ve slept with a ton of guys. But I’ve never been an angel either. It’s not something that has ever bothered me but I don’t want Maddox to think I sleep around. Why does it matter? There’s nothing wrong with safely enjoying my sexuality.
It’s not like we didn’t meet trying to have a one-night stand anyway. Whatever he thinks about me is probably already engraved into his mind.
“Not that there were a lot of men—”
“Holy shit.” Maddox pushes to his feet.
“What?”
Within a couple strides, he’s reached me. His right hand comes toward me and cups my face, his thumb brushing over my cheek.
“You’re blushing. I thought you were too bad-ass to blush.”
I smile. “I know lots of good tricks.”
“Don’t do that.”
Maddox hasn’t lowered his hand, so I pull back. “Do what?”
“Feel like you have to make excuses. It’s like you said the first night, there’s nothing wrong with a woman knowing what she wants. And I can tell you’re not the type of person to sleep with everyone you meet.”
Person. I love that he said person and not woman.
“I worry about you, Leila, I mean, Bee. I don’t want you to get hurt or wake up one day and regret where you are. You’re such a beautiful, smart young woman. You could have anything. Your sister has someone she’d like to introduce you to. We could go shopping and get your hair done. I think you’d be so happy if you met a nice boy…”
If I could do anything, what was wrong with picking to be a tattoo artist? Did my happiness revolve around meeting a nice guy? Being like everyone else in my family? Not that there’s anything wrong with that, except that it’s not me.
But then Mom had hugged me. Hugged me and told me she loved me. And it only made me question love more. How can you love someone you want to change? I know she wishes I was that girl who wants nothing more than to meet a nice guy. The girl she probably thinks I would be if she’d raised me.
“Where’d you go?” Maddox’s voice breaks through my thoughts. He has his finger tilting my chin up so I’m looking at him.
He’s so close that I can see every little detail about him, like the small dimple below his lip that doesn’t show often. I want to rub my cheek against the stubble on his face and feel his lips as they possess mine. “Nowhere…,” whispers past my lips.
“My bike’s too big for you to handle but you look sexy as hell on it.” Maddox leans closer. “Mmm, I wish I could see your ink.”
He might not be a nice boy and I am definitely not the perfect, nice girl but I’ve never wanted him with the burning passion engulfing me right now. Before I have the chance to kiss him, Maddox’s lips come down on mine. Both his hands are cupping my face as I straddle his bike and he kisses the hell out of me. His tongue pushes past my lips, deep inside my mouth like he’s starving for me the same way I’m suddenly starving for him. I’ve never wanted—needed—anyone the way need surges through me right now but he feels too good and tastes too good for me to worry about it.