D_Light did not want to give entrance to the mime and his sidekick of a bear. However, he did not want to get on the wrong side of a mime. They were masters of monkey business, and if you snubbed one, they would get you back. Besides, everyone was watching, and the only thing that tended to attract more attention than a celebrity was a rude celebrity.
The mime spread his arms wide as he entered while the bear got on all fours to clear the doorway. “Ah, Deeeelight,” the mime began, and then he pointed his snout at Lily. “And his lovely accomplice, the mystery girl! The floor is abuzz with speculation about you.” The mime sprang over to Lily, snatched her hand, and kissed it. At least D_Light presumed it was a kiss, as the mime’s lips were not visible under his beak. In any other context one might think a great bird had taken to gnawing on the woman’s hand.
Lily’s face went blank. “You can call me Lily,” she managed.
“A classic name for a classic beauty!” declared the mime.
“Not your real name, I’m sure, but fine, fine. I can appreciate a mystery better than most.”
D_Light might have had some sympathy for Lily and the awkwardness of the mime’s greeting had it not been for the fact that he was having to contend with the unwelcome advances of the bear, who took him into his great furry arms and squeezed him heartily. The beast, which must have weighed as much as seven men, knocked D_Light out of his chair. D_Light found his face enveloped in musky fur, and he could hear the animal’s heartbeat. Luckily, after a brief squeeze, the bear let go. Now free of the humiliating embrace, he heard the mime say, “Your friend has a sense of humor, although he doesn’t look like much.” The mime then jabbed D_Light in the stomach with the muzzle of his rifle and laughed with a high-pitched bark.
“Never mind all that though,” the unrelenting mime continued. “Here’s what I came for.” The mime then took a long step back and swung his rifle up to point at D_Light. D_Light felt a jolt of adrenaline, and his mind raced. My soul, an agent! Is he going to just frag us right here? D_Light clutched at one of his discs but did not throw it. There was no point in fighting here. He would never make it out alive.
The gun popped loudly, and a puff of bright pink smoke emerged from the barrel. Blinded in the pink fog surrounding him, D_Light heard yet another pop. He expected it was one for Lily. He then realized that he had felt no impact from the shot and panicked. My Soul, poison gas! Instinctively, he fumbled around for Lily and, upon feeling her body, pulled her to the ground with him.
“Compliments of the house,” the mime said with a squeak.
“Heroes, may your legend grow with every passing day.”
D_Light huddled over Lily in a desperate act of protection. By the time the fog had dissipated enough to see, both the mime and his bear were gone. And it was at about the same time that D_Light recognized the familiar scent of the gas that surrounded them. Not poisonous gas, but LoveGas™.
D_Light let out a good laugh, allowing his tense body to go limp and fall to the ground in relief. He enthusiastically grabbed Lily by the sides of her head and declared, “Lily, I’m afraid we’ve been drugged against our will!” Still laughing, he gave her head a couple more little squeezes and then turned to scratch the head of his familiar. “If I want a drug, I’ll ask my cat for one.” He chuckled at his own joke and then looked to Lily for affirmation that he was indeed funny.
Lily, her expression light and carefree, had what might be the goofiest smile on her face that D_Light had ever seen. Goofy, but beautiful. D_Light had never seen her smile with such abandon. Ah, the drug works fast, as should anything that comes out of the barrel of a gun. The words floated through his mind like cumulus clouds on a warm summer day.
“Your cat is beautiful,” Lily purred. “I want one.”
D_Light nodded with exaggerated vigor. “His name is Smorgeous. He’s Smorgeous because he’s both small and gorgeous. Get it?”
Lily rolled onto her stomach, crossed her ankles, and kicked back her legs. “I never met a male who liked cats,” she mused. Lily reached over to Smorgeous and stroked the indifferent robot’s fur.
“You know, where I come from men aren’t called ‘males,’ but hey, I won’t fault you on precision.” D_Light watched intently as Lily began to nuzzle his familiar, nose to nose.
“I’m afraid I hate cats too-real ones anyway,” D_Light said.
“Every real cat I’ve met didn’t care for me one bit either. Stick their tails up and walk off or, worse yet, hiss at ya. Useless, as far as I can tell. I only bought Smorgeous ’cause he was on sale.”
Lily grabbed the robot’s head and covered its ears. “Don’t listen to him, Smorgeous!” Lily scratched under the cat’s chin. “Do you want to come live with me? Do you?” Lily’s question was met with blank, staring eyes.
Master, I have failed to identify an effective LoveGas™ countermeasure cocktail available from your onboard stores. The nearest booster station is-
Shut it, D_Light replied.
D_Light chuckled. “You want him to live with you, huh? Well, if he had any taste at all, he would take the trade. Fortunately for me, he’s just a stupid computer.”
D_Light rested his head against the cool plexi floor and watched Lily’s delicate hand caress the cat’s faux fur for what seemed like an eternity. The LoveGas™, true to its color and name, was having a wondrous effect. Lying there beside the magnificent creature, D_Light was suddenly consumed by an overwhelming awareness that Smorgeous was beautiful. And not beautiful because of his advanced engineering or elegant design, but from the mere fact that he was Smorgeous and Smorgeous was intrinsically beautiful. Or maybe it was the graceful, supple fingers that meandered through his fur that made this picture so exquisite, or the dainty, welcoming hand to which the fingers belonged. The arm, perhaps? Muscular, yet soft and curvaceous. Certainly, that was beautiful.
Countless millions of years of evolution culminating in the finest intersect of form and function. My Soul, the shoulder and the face…No, that is not her face, D_Light realized.
D_Light moved in closer to Lily and whispered, “Take down your veil.”
“Hmm?” Lily asked absently, still absorbed by the task of stroking the robot as though, with enough concentration and a refined technique, she could magically bring pleasure to the machine.
Smorgeous pressed into D_Light’s mind, his voice warping slightly like an audiotape losing integrity. Master, the female is displaying unprecedented behavior. There is a high probability that she is under the influence of-
Shhhh, D_Light sent back absently. One hundred and eighty thousand points for that cat and all its upgrades, and it tells me this? he thought.
D_Light leaned in even closer to Lily and lowered his voice. “Your veil-take it off. I want to see your real face, your real hair.” He gently stroked her hair, winding a silky lock around his finger. His lips slowly wandered toward her ear, and he whispered, “Pleeeease.”
Lily turned her head to face him, their faces only inches apart. “What about my disguise? I’m a demon, remember?”
“Yes, you are a demon,” D_Light said slowly, using his best seductive voice, “a wonderful demon. I want to see the demon, the real demon. The one I saw under the tree this morning.” He ran a finger across her cheek, down her neck, and along one shoulder.
Yesterday morning, Smorgeous corrected.
“Lower yours and I’ll lower mine,” Lily answered coyly.
D_Light lowered his veil before she had even finished her sentence. His dark, wavy hair was disheveled and sticking up in tufts. His chiseled olive-toned face appeared relaxed and free of worry. His dark eyes, fully dilated, resembled large glass marbles.