He found one in the bachelors’ library, off their lounge. The room was empty save for one man who seemed to be about the same age as that suggested by Lazarus’ appearance. There the resemblance stopped; the stranger was slender, mild in feature, and was topped off by finespun carroty hair quite unlike the grizzled wiry bush topping Lazarus. The stranger was bending over the news receiver with his eyes pressed to the microviewer.
Lazarus cleared his throat loudly and said, “Howdy.”
The man jerked his head up and exclaimed, “Oh! Sorry-I was startled. Do y’ a service?”
“I was looking for the newsbox. Mind if we throw it on the screen?”
“Not at all.” The smaller man stood up, pressed the rewind button, and set the controls for projection. “Any particular subject?”
“I wanted to see,” said Lazarus, “if there was any news about us-the Families.”
“I’ve been watching for that myself. Perhaps we had better use the sound track and let it hunt.”
“Okay,” agreed Lazarus, stepping up and changing the setting to audio. “What’s the code word?’
“‘Methuselah.’”
Lazarus punched in the setting; the machine chattered and whined as it scanned and rejected the track speeding through it, then it slowed with a triumphant click. “The DAILY DATA,” it announced. “The only midwest news service subscribing to every major grid. Leased videochannel to Luna City. Tri-S correspondents throughout the System. First, Fast, and Most! Lincoln, Nebraska-Savant Denounces Oldsters! Dr. Witweli Oscarsen, President Emeritus of Bryan Lyceum, calls for official reconsideration of the status of the kin group styling themselves the ‘Howard Families.’ ‘It is proved,’ he says. ‘that these people have solved the age-old problem of extending, perhaps indefinitely, the span of human life. For that they are to be commended; it is a worthy and potentially fruitful research. But their claim that their solution is no more than hereditary predisposition defies both science and common sense. Our modern knowledge of the established laws of generics enables us to deduce with
certainty that they are withholding from the public some secret technique or techniques whereby they accomplish their results.
“‘It is contrary to our customs to permit scientific knowledge to be held as a monopoly for the few. When concealing such knowledge strikes at life itself, the action becomes treason to the race. As a citizen, I call on the Administration to act forcefully in this matter and I remind them that the situation is not one which could possibly have been foreseen by the wise men who drew up the Covenant and codified our basic customs. Any custom is man-made and is therefore a finite attempt to describe an infinity of relationships. It follows as the night from day that any custom necessarily has its exceptions. To be bound by them in the face of new—’”
Lazarus pressed the hold button. “Had enough of that guy?
“Yes, I had already heard it.” The stranger sighed. “I have rarely heard such complete lack of semantic rigor. It surprises me-Dr. Oscarsen has done sound work in the past.”
“Reached his dotage,” Lazarus stated, as he told the machine to try again. “Wants what he wants when he wants it-and thinks that constitutes a natural law.”
The machine hummed and clicked and again spoke up. “The DAILY DATA, the only midwest news-“
“Can’t we scramble that commercial?” suggested Lazarus. His companion peered at the control panel. “Doesn’t seem to be equipped for it.”
“Ensenada, Baja California. Jeffers and Lucy Weatheral today asked for special proctor protection, alleging that a group of citizens had broken into their home, submitted them to personal indignity and committed other asocial acts. The Weatherals are, by their own admission, members of the notorious Howard Families and claim that the alleged incident could be traced to that supposed fact. The district provost points out that they have offered no proof and has taken the matter under advisement. A town mass meeting has been announced for tonight which will air-“
The other man turned toward Lazarus. “Cousin, did we hear what I thought we heard? That is the first case of asocial group violence in more than twenty years … yet they reported it like a breakdown in a weather integrator.”
“Not quite,” Lazarus answered grimly. “The connotations of the words used in describing us were loaded.”
“Yes, true, but loaded cleverly. I doubt if there was a word in that dispatch with an emotional index, taken alone, higher than one point five. The newscasters are allowed two zero, you know.”
“You a psychometrician?”
“Uh, no. I should have introduced myself. I’m Andrew Jackson Libby.”
“Lazarus Long.”
“I know. I was at the meeting last night.”
“‘Libby … Libby,” Lazarus mused. “Don’t seem to place it in the Families. Seems familiar, though.”
“My case is a little like yours-“
“Changed it during the Interregnum, eh?”
“Yes and no. I was born after the Second Revolution. But my people had been converted to the New Crusade and had broken with the Families and changed their name. I was a grown man before I knew I was a Member.”
“The deuce you say! That’s interesting-how did you come to be located … if you don’t mind my asking?”
“Well, you see I was in the Navy and one of my superior officers-“
“Got it! Got it! I thought you were a spaceman. You’re Slipstick Libby, the Calculator.”
Libby grinned sheepishly. “I have been called that.”
“Sure, sure. The last can I piloted was equipped with your paragravitic rectifier. And the control bank used your fractional differential on the steering jets. But I installed that myself-kinda borrowed your patent.”
Libby seemed undisturbed by the theft. His face lit up. “You are interested in symbolic logic?”
“Only pragmatically. But look, I put a modification on your gadget that derives from the rejected alternatives in your thirteenth equation. It helps like this: suppose you are cruising in a field of density ‘x’ with an n-order gradient normal to your course and you want to set your optimum course for a projected point of rendezvous capital ‘A’ at matching-in vector ‘rho’ using automatic selection the entire jump, then if-“
They drifted entirely away from Basic English as used by earthbound laymen. The newsbox beside them continued to hunt; three times it spoke up, each time Libby touched the rejection button without consciously hearing it.
“I see your point,” he said at last. “I had considered a somewhat similar modification but concluded that it was not commercially feasible, too expensive for anyone but enthusiasts such as yourself. But your solution is cheaper than mine.”
“How do you figure that?”
“Why, it’s obvious from the data. Your device contains sixty-two moving parts, which should require, if we assume standardized fabrication processes, a probable-” Libby hesitated momentarily as if he were programming the problem. “-a probable optimax of five thousand two hundred and eleven operation in manufacture assuming null-therblig automation, whereas mine-“
Lazarus butted in. “Andy,” he inquired solicitously, “does your head ever ache?”
Libby looked sheepish again. “There’s nothing abnormal about my talent,” he protested. “It is theoretically possible to develop it in any normal person.”