At the time I am speaking of, Chesty Charles is not as young as he used to be, and he wishes to go along very quiet and avoiding undue excitement, but anybody can see that he is such a character as observes a few things in his time. In fact, anybody can see that he is such a character as is around and about no little and quite some before he settles down to conducting the Shark Fin Grill.
The reason Charles calls his place the Shark Fin Grill is because it sounds nice, although, of course, Charles does not really grill anything there, and, personally, I think the name is somewhat confusing to strangers.
In fact, one night a character with a beard, from Rumson, New Jersey, comes in and orders a grilled porterhouse; and when he learns he cannot get same, he lets out a chirp that Charles has no right to call his place a grill when he does not grill anything and claims that Charles is obtaining money under false pretences.
It finally becomes necessary for Charles to tap him on the pimple with a beer mallet, and afterward the constables come around, saying what is going on here, and what do you mean by tapping people with beer mallets, and the only way Charles can wiggle out of it is by stating that the character with the beard claims that Mae West has no sex appeal. So the constables go away saying Charles does quite right and one of them has half a mind to tap the character himself with something.
Well, anyway, one night I am in the Shark Fin Grill playing rummy with Charles and there is nobody else whatever in the joint, because, by this time, the quiet season is on in Miami and Charles’s business thins out more than somewhat; and just as I beat Charles a pretty good score, who comes in but two characters in sport shirts, and one of them has that thing in his hand and he says to us like this:
“Reach,” he says. “This is a stick-up. No beefs, now,” he says.
Well, Chesty Charles and me raise our hands as high as possible, and, in fact, I am only sorry I cannot raise mine higher than possible, and Chesty Charles says: “No beefs,” he says. “But,” he says, “boys, you are on an awful bust. All you are liable to get around this drum is fleas. If there is any dough here I will be using it myself,” Chesty says.
“Well,” one of the characters says, “we will have a look at your damper, anyway. Maybe you overlook a few coarse notes here and there.”
So one character keeps that thing pointed at Chesty Charles and me, and the other goes through the cash register, but, just as Charles says, there is nothing in it. Then the character comes over and gives Charles and me a fanning, but all he finds is eighty cents on Charles, and he seems inclined to be a little vexed at the scarcity of ready between us and he acts as if he is thinking of clouting us around some for our shortage, as these git-’em-up characters will sometimes do if they are vexed, when all of a sudden Charles looks at one of the characters and speaks as follows:
“Why,” Chesty Charles says, “do my eyes deceive me, or do I behold The Macarone, out of Kansas City?”
“Why, yes,” the character says. “Why, hello, Chesty,” he says. “Meet my friend Willie,” he says. “He is out of Kansas City too. Why, I never expect to find you in such a joint as this, Chesty,” he says. “Especially a joint where there is so little dough.”
“Well,” Chesty Charles says, “you ought to drop around when the season is on. Things are livelier then. But,” he says, “sit down and let’s have a talk. I am glad to see you, Mac,” he says.
So they sit down and Chesty Charles puts out a bottle of Scotch and some glasses and we become quite sociable, to be sure, and presently The Macarone is explaining that Willie and him have been over in Havana all winter, working with a pay-off mob out of Indianapolis, Indiana, that has a store there, but that business is rotten, and they are now en route north and just stop over in Miami to pick up a few dibs, if possible, for walk-about money.
The Macarone seems to be quite an interesting character in many respects and I can see that he and Charles know each other from several places. The Macarone is maybe around forty and he is tall and black-looking, but the character he calls Willie is younger and by no means gabby, and, in fact, he scarcely has a word to say. We sit there quite a while drinking Scotches and speaking of this and that, and finally Chesty Charles says to The Macarone:
“Mac,” he says, “come to think of it, I may be able to drop something in your lap, at that. Only last night a character is in here with a right nice proposition, but,” Chesty says, “it is not in my line, so it does not interest me.”
“Chesty,” The Macarone says, “any proposition that is not in your line must be a very unusual proposition indeed. Let me hear this one,” he says.
“Well,” Chesty says, “it is a trifle unusual, but,” he says, “it seems quite sound, and I only regret that I cannot handle it in person. I am froze in here with this business and I do not feel free to engage in any outside enterprises. The character I refer to,” he says, “is Mr. Cleeburn T. Box, who lives on a big estate over here on the bay front with his nephew. Mr. Cleeburn T. Box wishes to quit these earthly scenes,” Chesty says. “He is sick and tired of living. His nerves are shot to pieces. He cannot eat. He is in tough shape.
“But,” Chesty says, “he finds he does not have the nerve to push himself off. So he wishes to find some good reliable party to push him off, for which service he will pay five thousand dollars cash money. He will deposit the dough with me,” Chesty says. “He realizes that I am quite trustworthy. It is a soft touch, Mac,” he says. “Of course,” he says, “I am entitled to the usual twenty-five percent commission for finding the plant.”
“Well,” The Macarone says, “this Mr. Box must be quite an eccentric character. But,” he says, “I can understand his reluctance about pushing himself off. Personally, I will not care to push myself off. However,” he says, “the proposition seems to have complications. I hear it is against the law in Florida to push people off, even if they wish to be pushed.”
“Well,” Chesty says, “Mr. Box thinks of this too. His idea is that the party who is to do this service for him will slip into his house over on the bay front some night and push him off while he is asleep, so he will never know what happens to him. You understand, he wishes this matter to be as unexpected and painless as possible. Then,” Chesty says, “the party can leave that thing with which he does the pushing on the premises and it will look as if Mr. Box does the pushing in person.”
“What about a club?” The Macarone says. “Or maybe a shiv? That thing makes a lot of racket.”
“Why,” Chesty says, “how can you make a club or shiv look like anything but something illegal if you use them to push anybody? You need not be afraid of making a racket, because,” he says, “no one lives within hearing distance of the joint, and Mr. Box will see that all his servants and everybody else are away from the place every night, once I give him the word the deal is on. He will place the dough at my disposal when he gets this word. Of course he does not wish to know what night it is to happen, but it must be some night soon after the transaction is agreed to.”
“Well,” The Macarone says, “this is one of the most interesting and unusual propositions ever presented to me. Personally,” he says, “I do not see why Mr. Box does not get somebody to put something in his tea. Anybody will be glad to do him such a favour.”
“He is afraid of suffering,” Chesty Charles says. “He is one of the most nervous characters I ever encounter in my life. Look, Mac,” he says, “this is a job that scarcely requires human intelligence. I have here a diagram that shows the layout of the joint.”