“If we are really sweethearts, the way we say we are, then there shouldn’t be any secrets.”
“I tried it once,” Wolf croaked. “Even before I went to the farm. It was on my birthday. My sixteenth—almost two years ago. You don’t want to hear about it.”
“Yes, I do.”
“Well, I was with three of my pals. One of them was older—he was nineteen—and he knew a woman in Solec. One of those kind of women.”
“What kind?”
“Who does it for money.”
“Oh ... one of those kind.”
“So, anyhow, it was my birthday and all that and we were at this guy’s house and he snitched a bottle of vodka from his parents’ liquor cabinet. I never drank before, except a sip now and then. I got to laughing and couldn’t stop. Then we started talking about ... things, and he said he knew this woman in Solec. Next thing you know, it was a dare and I was feeling pretty good.”
“And you went there?”
Wolf nodded.
“And you did?”
“Well, it wasn’t so hot I got scared as hell and I didn’t know what to do. Boy, I’ll bet you hate me now.”
“No. I admire your honesty. Now I know that you will always be honest with me.”
“You’re not mad?”
“Momma explained that certain things are very normal for boys—that is, men. And she says I should not suppress my emotions and feelings too much because that can lead to frustration.”
“She’s sure smart.”
“Sometimes I think she says it to me because she’s frustrated. I can feel that she hasn’t been too happy with Daddy.”
“That’s too bad. My folks are happy. Poppa doesn’t seem to need it too much because he works all the time, but I know he and Momma are happy. Rachael, you sure are understanding.”
“Wolf ... do you ever think about us ... doing it?”
“Yes ... I never would try or force my attention on you or ever do anything to hurt you. But it’s not my fault that I cant help thinking about it. It’s supposed to be a sin to think about it, but I can’t help it.”
“I think about it too,” she whispered.
“I ... didn’t know that girls thought about it. The way boys do.”
“Yes ... the same way. All the time you were away I began to wonder if I would see you again. And I knew that if mere wasn’t a war and a ghetto and the awful things that are happening, I would grow up a little slower, like we’re supposed to. And we could play coquette like girls are supposed to. But this fear hanging over us all the time ... Waking up in the middle of the night when the whistles are blowing outside during roundups and walking the streets when their sirens blow and the loudspeakers shout ... Now, those little children dying in the streets—it all made me change. I’m terribly aggressive, aren’t I?”
“I think you are the most wonderful person who ever lived.”
Rachael threw her arms about Wolf and clutched him desperately. “I love you in a different way than Momma loves Daddy. She is trying to tell me. Wolf, I don’t want to die unhappy like Momma!”
This kiss was different from all others, for in the instant of its impact they reached manhood and womanhood, and they wanted each other and there was neither restraint nor control. Her eyes closed and her cheeks were damp with the wonderful feel of him and her teeth found his shoulders and her hands clawed at his back and his fingers fumbled for the buttons on her blouse. ...
The door slammed!
They looked in terror at Andrei across the room. He took two, three menacing steps toward them.
“You little son of a bitch,” he hissed.
Wolf stepped in front of Rachael, and she buried her face against his back and wept.
Andrei looked from one to the other, the fury twitching his face.
“Get out of the room, Rachael,” Wolf said softly.
“He’ll kill you!” Rachael cried.
Andrei stopped. Wolf Brandel abusing my niece. But look. It is not Wolf any longer. A tall, strong young man waiting like a fool for me to tear him apart. And Rachael ... Strange. Not until this moment did I realize that she is a woman. Wolf Brandel. I diapered him when he was a baby. Has he ever been anything but a fine person? God, Andrei! What is the matter with you? These two love each other!
Andrei relaxed.
“In the future,” he said, “if you leave your armbands in the mailbox I’ll know you are up here and won’t disturb you. And for God’s sake, lock the door.”
Chapter Twenty-two
THE NEXT DAY WOLF Brandel returned to Andrei’s flat.
“I want you to know,” he said to Andrei, “that I am not messing around with Rachael. I feel more deeply for her than I’ve ever felt for anyone. I love her. I’m sure not much, but she feels that way about me too.”
Andrei nodded. “I thought about it. I believe you.” He poured himself a short drink of vodka. “Do you drink this stuff?”
“I had it a few times at the farm. I don’t care too much for it. I want you to know that—well, how much we appreciate your confidence. There’s hardly a place where two people can be alone in the ghetto.”
“It was a shock, all of a sudden seeing someone you thought as a little girl in the arms of someone you thought of as a little boy. Under normal conditions things would have happened more slowly. One has to grow up quickly these days, there is no choice.”
“Andrei, I don’t really want to do anything to her.”
“I appreciate your good intentions, but they will become lost in the heat of the moment one day. Just be as gentle as you can and make her be careful.”
Wolf blushed violently. “I think I’ll try a little vodka.” He sipped and made a face as it burned its way to his stomach. “I wanted to see you about something else too. I’m not going back to the farm.”
“Oh? Tolek Alterman tells me you are his best worker. I am certain he can arrange for you to come in once a week with the milk so you can see her.”
“That’s not really why.”
“What is it?”
“Life is easy out there. I think I ought to be doing more.”
“Don’t be so noble.”
“I’m not noble. It would be easier if you left Warsaw, but you stay.”
“Look, Wolf. Be happy your father is in a position to put you on the farm.”
“That’s just my point. I’m getting preferential treatment because I’m Alexander Brandel’s son. That’s not right. I talked to Momma and Poppa last night after I took Rachael home. I told them I wasn’t going back.”
“How did they take it?”
“Momma cried. Poppa argued. You know how he can argue. Between him and Tolek Alterman I’ve heard enough Zionist logic to last for six lifetimes. Anyhow, I may not look it, but I can be stubborn. When Poppa knew I wasn’t going back he began to blame himself for not being a good father and not spending more time with me. He always does that So, the baby started screaming and all four of us were going at once. Then later we sat in his office, just the two of us. We don’t do that too often. He’s convinced that I’m right by wanting to stay. He told me to come to see you. You would have work for me.”
“Did he say what kind of work?”
“No. But I know that you must be mixed up in important things. I want to be a runner.”
“What makes you think you can be a runner?”
“Well, I don’t look too Jewish.”
“We use women as runners, Wolf.”
“I can do the job as well as a woman.”
“You said you don’t look Jewish. I say you do. Know what would happen if you got picked up? They’d march you to Gestapo House on Shucha Street and unbutton your pants. Your father put you in a covenant with God when he had you circumcised so that God would recognize you as a Jew. Only trouble is that the Germans use that for recognition too.”