Now, topics that I was wanting to cover before I got side tracked.
Do you remember a Robert Heinlein book I was telling you about while still in Riverside? It involved a time/dimension traveling device with a six pronged activating device. The name of that book is “Number Of The Beast.” I heartily recommend it to anyone just getting interested in Science Fiction. I wish I could read it again, but it’s not in the library here. Maybe when, if, I get enough money ahead, I can order it from whichever approved vendor I’m allowed to order books from.
Just recently read a great short novel here called “Trace of the Werewolf.” No, it did not involve the creature. (Have I already written you about this? I don’t recall.) It was about the supposed heir apparent to Hitler’s Third Reich, code name “Werewolf.” The hero of the book was supposed to find out if this, now grown man, was going begin Hitler’s atrocities all over again. During his investigation, he asked a great line: “In the words of Pontius Pilate: ‘What is truth?’” I thought that line fits so very well with my final statement. And to answer it, I’d say “It’s what Zellerbach has made up in his own twisted little world and has force fed to the public!” You know, when he spoke up after everyone else exploded at me, he said that I must not like him very well. If an understatement was ever spoken, he said it. But it’s not just that I don’t like him very much, it’s that I don’t care for the position he has where he can take any little bit of a whisper and turn it inside out, into a scream! I’ve heard of making a molehill into a mountain. But he’s taken a speck of dust (my case) and turned it into the largest dung heap with him sitting at the top thinking it smells like roses! Everytime he opens his mouth, the worst bit of flatulence I’ve ever heard comes out when he speaks his bombastic praise of what he did to me. (And by flatulence, I’m not talking about his pomposity!) Do I dislike him? Maybe. Do I hate him? No! Am I afraid of him? Resoundingly yes! I’m afraid of what he can do with his office behind him to other people who are unfortunate enough to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. I have been having some awfully weird dreams of late.
1. I was in some kind of visiting room and so was the Zamora family. They asked me, “We want to know the truth—Did you kill Del?” I started shaking my head, saying “no” when out of the dark to my side, Del herself appears, smiles to me and her family and says “This man had nothing to do with my death!” The family asked how the evidence was found against me. I said it should be obvious that it was planted. Then Del speaks again, “It was put there!” When the family next asks a question, “Then who…” I was awakened by breakfast call. I haven’t had the dream again.
2. I was in an office somewhere (highrise) and I’m holding a gun. Check to see that it’s loaded, cock it and say, “Now you can come out ƒather!” Out of another room a man walks out and sits on a couch. He’s not my father. From another door comes three more people, one of which is “father’s” wife (not my mother). I proceed to tell everyone how “father” had sexually abused me for years (?). “Father” admits it, then his wife says, “I can’t fault him, because I did, too!” Now this dream scares me because, first, I don’t recognize any of the people in the room. Second, one wall is a mirror and I can see that it’s me holding a gun, I’m about 10—11 years of age and standing behind me with her left hand on my shoulder is Bonnie! And she looks to be about 45, the same as when I first met her! That’s all there is to that dream and again, I’ve only had it the one time (so far). What really scares me about it (besides I’m holding a gun) is that I don’t know that I was ever sexually abused at any time in my life. I have no memory or other evidence of such a thing ever happening. So where is this dream getting its ammo (so to speak) from? One reason why I’m scared is because I’ve read and heard that dreams have a nutshell of honesty that the subconcious is aware of, and that nutshell is what the subcon-cious builds the dream on. The fear I’m feeling from this dream is the same one you can imagine upon biting a chunk out of an apple, enjoying the taste and then go for a second bite. But to your dismay you see half of a worm drop out of the apple. Only one thought enters your mind “What happened to the other half of that worm! ?” If you understand that fear, you’ll know the fear I have from this dream.
3. I’m in a field, trees a few yards to my left and back. To my right, the grassy field slopes gently away. In front of me is a cliff that drops off to the ocean. Far out to sea, there is a huge wave building and it’s coming towards me. But I know I’m safe because the wave won’t crest over the cliff. Next to me, lying on a blanket is Florence (Don’t you dare tell her!) and she’s saying, “Come on, we’ve got just enough time.” She’s fully clothed and so am I. (I don’t have dreams where I or a girl are nude. Never have!) I know what she’s talking about (so do you!), but I can’t bring myself to make love to her. Not that I wouldn’t want to. But I don’t. Suddenly, Bonnie drives up in a pickup truck, gets out stands at my left side, holding my hand and Florence drives off in the truck. Bonnie and I sit down on the blanket and watch the wave splash against the cliff face. From the spray that washes over the top of the cliff, Myrtle the dog comes to us completely wet and lies down to the right of us on the blanket. And here I awoke! Explain that one to me, if you can! What I wouldn’t give for a good Dream Interpreter!
Well, it’s now 2300 hrs (11:00 p.m. to us civilians) and I’d better attempt to get some sleep. Maybe I’ll get lucky and have an important dream. Good Night and I’ll write more tomorrow.
Hello again,
Sorry. A few days have passed and I’m just now getting back to your letter. I just re-read what I’ve already written and see I left out who the other two visiting questionnaires are for. I told you about the one for Bonnie and then got side tracked (that’s been happening a lot lately). Anyway, I mentioned to you several times about a nurse at the county jail I became friends with. She testified in my behalf during the penalty phase of my trial. Her name is Janet, her husband’s name is Ed. Would you please try to call the jail to talk to her. She usually works second shift (7:00 a.m. to 3:00 p.m.). Find out from her where you can send the other two questionnaires. She expressed a desire to visit me when she comes up here to San Francisco. I’d kind of like to see and talk to her again, AND meet her husband.