‘If the assessment shows you need further care then you will be transferred to a different, more semi-permanent unit.’
An involuntary groan leaves Rebecca’s lips as she moves her gaze to Jamie, desperate now for him to help her.
‘Please, Jamie. You know, don’t you? You know that I shouldn’t be here. Please, think of Ella?’
Yet Jamie just stands there quietly, his demeanour awkward.
While she sees the concerned look on his face, she sees something else staring back at her too.
Embarrassment. At his mess of a wife.
Finally, he speaks, his voice so quiet that Rebecca can barely hear him.
‘I am thinking of Ella, for fuck’s sake, Rebecca. This is who I’m doing this for. Ella.’
She looks at him clearly, almost for the first time. She sees the bags under his eyes, the deep frown lines etched across his forehead.
He looked completely broken and exhausted.
Exhausted by her.
He wasn’t going to help her.
Eyeing the main door she’d just been led through, her only escape route, Rebecca noticed the electronic locking mechanism and the door release on the wall that required an access code.
Was this the true reality of where they’d taken her? The ‘normal’ people see the perfectly presented outside façade, while the ‘crazy’ people get locked away behind secure keypads.
It would be almost impossible to make her escape.
She was trapped.
Her heartbeat quickened as she scoured the room for another way out, another doorway, an open window. Only she knew there wouldn’t be a clear exit. This was a secure unit. For people with mental health problems. They weren’t going to let her out of here until she’d seen the doctor.
‘Let’s walk you down to your suite, Rebecca. It’s a bit more private there,’ the nurse said, sensing Rebecca’s obvious distress and the tension building between her and Jamie. ‘I know you’ve had a really difficult time tonight, but we’re here to help you. You’ll feel better after you’ve had some rest. You are safe here.’
‘But what about Ella? Is she safe? With some fucking nutcase running around out there and breaking into houses in the middle of the night. And you lot.’ Rebecca nodded towards Officer Blythe who was standing back now and letting the staff at the unit do their job. ‘This is how you deal with criminals, is it? You let them roam free and lock up the victims instead. Because he’s still out there!’
Rebecca raised her voice, aware that the nurse was trying to guide her down the corridor and into her room, but Rebecca had no intention of staying here the night.
These people were not going to lock her up. They couldn’t just keep her here against her will.
‘I can’t stay here. Why won’t any of you listen to me?’ she screamed now, so loudly the words burned at her throat. ‘While you’re all treating me like some crazy mental patient, he’s still out there and that means Ella isn’t safe.’
Finally, Jamie meets her eye, his cool grey eyes fixed on her.
‘She is safe now.’
Rebecca winces.
He means from her. It’s the final blow.
Blinking back her tears, she swallows down the lump in her throat, hoping to relieve the tightness that’s leaving her breathless.
She’s on her own, it’s her against all of them.
Lunging backwards, she makes a run for the door. Only the nurse has already anticipated Rebecca’s move and she’s on her, instantly calling out for back up from another member of staff.
‘Rebecca! Calm down!’ Jamie shouts. ‘Is she okay?’
‘This is for their own protection,’ she hears Davina say as she’s pinned down to the floor. Winded on impact, Rebecca’s face is pressed against the cold ceramic tiles as she’s surrounded by strangers all holding her arms and legs down.
‘She’s not coherent,’ another voice says as she screams and kicks out. Clawing at any skin or clothing she comes into contact with, fighting for her survival.
Someone’s straddling her back, her head twisted awkwardly to the side, and she can’t breathe, the weight on top of her ribcage feeling like it’s crushing her.
The flesh of her arm is pinched tightly between someone’s fingertips before she feels the sharp searing pain of a needle plunged deeply into one of her veins. Her head lolls involuntarily to the side as the liquid from the syringe rapidly enters her blood stream.
The wave of numbness that washes over her entire body is icy cold and immobilising, leaving her body as weak and limp as her depleting spirit.
All she can do is watch now and her eyes are on Jamie, who has his back to her, walking away from her. His silhouette shrinking smaller and smaller as he moves farther into the distance.
She feels a single tear escape her right eye at the realisation that not once did he look back at her.
Not once did he turn back to see if she was okay.
It was as if he couldn’t get away from her and this place quickly enough.
And she can’t fight it anymore.
Rebecca gives in to the thick blanket of darkness that descends upon her.
In fact, she welcomes it.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Light floods the room.
The sudden brightness makes Rebecca squint as she lies there for a few seconds, before finally opening her eyes and staring up at the ceiling.
It takes her a few seconds to gather her bearings. To remember that she’s not at home.
She’s not alone. There’s an unfamiliar noise in the room.
Footsteps.
Then the gravelly sound of someone clearing their throat before they speak.
‘Good morning, Rebecca. Did you sleep okay?’
Rebecca turns her head, eyeing the nurse stood at the end of her bed, smiling down at her.
She winces as she recalls the chaos of last night, as fragmented images flash inside her head.
It comes back to her all at once. She’s in a psychiatric unit. Jamie left her here.
Part of her still can’t believe that he’d do that to her.
That he’d simply just walk away.
‘I’m Nurse Rabe, but you can call me Marlene. How are you feeling this morning?’
Rebecca stares at the nurse. She’s younger than her, and there’s a warmth to her eyes that seems genuine.
But then this is what staff at this sort of place does, isn’t it? Rebecca reminds herself. They lull you into a false sense of security. They make you believe they want to help you when really all they want to do is keep you here. Away from your own child.
Just like the nurse from last night, who admitted her. Davina. With her sharp features and her equally sharp, condescending tone.
‘Rebecca?’
‘I feel a bit better this morning. I think,’ Rebecca lies, her head still fuzzy as she sits up in the bed, realising that the nurse is staring at her. That’s she’s waiting for an answer. ‘I slept, so I guess that’s something.’
Rebecca glanced at the clock on the wall, shocked to see that it was almost 9 a.m. She must have slept right through. Her first restful bit of sleep since Ella. The irony being that as much as she needed her sleep, she didn’t want it to be like this.
A combination of complete physical and mental exhaustion, along with whatever was in that syringe.
She watches as Marlene crosses the room, fussing with the breakfast tray that she lays out on the coffee table, before she swings her legs around to get out of the bed, wincing at the pain in her side. She remembers how she was pressed to the ground when the nurses restrained her.