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real jerk.

I picked up the phone to call Roger but couldn't bring myself to ignore

the message light on my phone.

It was Chuck.  "Hey, babe.  Good news back from the crime lab.  Give me

a call."

I hate those messages that keep you hanging.  Either tell me what you

need to tell me or ask me to return the call.  I was eager for the lab

reports but felt obliged to get the call to Roger over with.

I dialed the first six digits of his number before tapping on the

handset for a new dial tone.  A call to Susan Kerr would allow me to

procrastinate a little longer.  I still needed to talk to her about

Tara's suspicions that Clarissa was seeing someone else, not to mention

her little visit this afternoon from Townsend.

When I identified myself, she jumped right in.

"I'm so happy you called.  I was going to see if there's anything I can

do after Townsend's press conference last night.  I was in bed by then

and couldn't believe what I saw in the paper this morning.  I didn't

even know he had a lawyer."

"Neither did we."

"Would it help if I called someone at the mayors office to support the

bureau?  I know I was a bit critical of how the police handled the

situation with Townsend Monday night, but I think you're all doing a

great job."

I assured her that I appreciated the offer, but there was no need for

her to pull strings.  "But, since you brought it up, do you have any

idea why Townsend would rail against us like that?"

"No, and it shocks me."

"He didn't mention it when he was at your house this afternoon?"

Wow.  I hadn't planned on blurting it out that way.  Very Perry

Mason.

Unfortunately, it didn't have a Perry-Masonian effect.  Instead of

breaking down and sharing a lifetime of secrets with me, Susan Kerr

made me feel like shit.

"Are you actually having Townsend followed or something?  My God, are

you watching my home?  Maybe Townsend was right to rail against you, as

you put it."

I immediately launched into a back pedal, explaining that I had passed

her house on my regular run and happened to notice his car.

"If you had simply asked like a regular person instead of ambushing me,

I would have told you all of this anyway.  What I was about to say was

that I can only chalk up the press conference to the fact that Townsend

just hasn't been himself since well, since, Clarissa was found.  He's

been drinking more, and sometimes he'll start rambling incoherently. My

best guess is that someone from work might have suggested it, because I

know it didn't come from me or Clarissa's family.

"As for his visit this afternoon, if you must know, I initially

suggested it, hoping to pull out some of the old Townsend.  When he's

in work mode well, everything else sort of fades away.  I've been

helping him with some fund-raising for the hospital's pediatric wing

and thought it might help him to put his mind back into that for the

afternoon.  But of course he told me about the arrest, and one thing

led to another.  I wound up crying away another afternoon, while he sat

like a zombie on the sofa.  So, no, we did not talk about the press

conference."

I didn't know what to say.  I floundered around for an appropriate

apology, finally lamely offering that I was sorry for her loss.

She sighed.  "I know.  I can tell you care, and I do appreciate it.  My

God, I thought it was hard when I lost Herbie, but to have a loss like

this I don't know how Townsend will ever get over it.  Quite honestly,

I'm beginning to question his stability.  He doesn't seem to be

thinking straight."

Her worries about Townsend made it even harder to share what I'd heard

from Tara.  I omitted T. J. Caffrey's name for the time being.

"Boy, you are full of good news today, aren't you?"  Her attempt at

levity didn't change the fact that she wasn't having any of it.  "I

know I've already told you this," she said, "but Clarissa and Townsend

had a perfectly normal marriage.  Well, about as normal as it can be

given how hard the guy works.  But, trust me, if there was something

wrong, Clarissa would have told me.  And, my God, if she was cheating "

She laughed at the mere thought of it.  "She'd definitely tell me

before she'd say anything to Tara."

"I'm just trying to reconcile Tara's information with everything else

we've heard," I explained.  "Why would Tara make something like that

up?"

"Perhaps she misinterpreted something Clarissa said.  We all vent about

our husbands now and then, don't we?  And Tara can be very

melodramatic."

"She seemed fairly certain about Clarissa's meaning," I said.

"Just because she was sure doesn't make her right.  And even if

Clarissa was fooling around which I'm sure she wasn't what use is there

in bringing it up now?  I understood from Townsend that you had a

mountain of evidence against this Jackson guy."

"We do," I said, "but we still need to cover our bases.  I don't want

the defense springing something on us down the road because we were

afraid to ask the tough questions."

"Well, you've asked them, and my answer hasn't changed.  Clarissa

wasn't like that, and I hope you'll leave it at that.  If the police go

to Townsend with this, it could send him right over the edge."

Tara had expressed the same concern.  Townsend might be the one in

charge at the hospital, but apparently, in other areas of his life,

those closest to him felt the need to be strong on his behalf.

"I know you're worried about Townsend," I said, "but I hope you're not

holding back information you think would hurt him.  Tara already told

me that's why she initially didn't say anything about this."

"I am most definitely not holding back with you.  If anything, I feel a

little guilty for mentioning Townsend's irrational behavior.  But I

don't want to hear anything else about Tara's little suspicions.  This

son of a bitch Jackson killed my best friend.  You just told me a

second ago that it was basically a sure thing.  But instead of anyone

asking me about her life or what she was like or how wonderful she was,

you just want to make sure she was a good wife."

I did my best to explain how important the questions were to the case,

and she did her best to say she understood.  But I nevertheless hung up

feeling like the worst kind of bottom feeder.

I probably should have waited before calling Roger, but I didn't.

"Roger Kirkpatrick."  I could picture him in an office high above the

Willamette, feet on his desk, answering the phone on speaker to avoid

wasting his valuable time on extraneous hand movements.

"Roger, it's Samantha."

"I assume you're calling about Easterbrook?"  He still hadn't picked up