Without realizing when it had happened, Ulric knew he would be lost without her in his life. Her scent was maddening, taunting him when he knew she was slipping away. He’d finally found the balance in his life he needed to stay strong. He couldn’t let her go. Goddess, didn’t she realize he was starting to fall in love with her?
She shook her head, but did not face him. “It’s been over a year. You still struggle with your control. You are challenged by my commands and cannot follow my lead. If I am unable to give you this, then I have failed you. You’re too important, Ulric. The best thing for both of us is if I set you free.”
No, no, no, no. “Stella—”
“He’s lying.”
They both stilled at the sound of Faris’ voice. Ulric tightened his grip on Stella, refusing to give her any opportunity to escape. All he could do was wait for Faris, wait to see what the young man would say.
“I have been with him for weeks now. Until tonight, Ulric has barely had any time to himself, not even to sleep. I forced him to eat his meals and he’s hardly had time to shower. I very much doubt he had the time or inclination to masturbate. The few times I didn’t know where he was, I assume he was here with you.”
Stella turned and Ulric stepped back, immediately mourning the loss of contact but unwilling to push things any further than they had gone. When she reached up and cupped his face, Ulric couldn’t contain his surprise. “Mistress?”
“Is this true?”
He opened his mouth to speak, but no words emerged. The look on her face broke his heart. Instead, he nodded.
“Why?” Stella pressed a kiss to his lips. “Why would you tell me such a terrible lie?
Risk everything that we worked so hard to build?”
He knew he had no choice but to speak the truth. “I…couldn’t lose him. He…needs this. Especially after what happened today. It was the only thing I could think of.”
He couldn’t tell her how much Faris meant to him. Ulric’s stomach soured at the mere thought of losing Faris. To him the only thing worse was the idea of Stella leaving his life forever. Maybe he was being greedy, giving in to impulses he shouldn’t. But the Goddess be damned, he’d earned the right to be selfish. He’d given everything to the defense of the people in this sector. Ulric fought to protect these planets from the domineering reign of the Loyalist government. Fuck them, he deserved the little he asked for in return.
He wanted Stella and Faris.
“I told you I was fine.” Faris’ voice had lost all trace of his boyish naivety, being replaced with an edge of steel. “Everything will be fine.”
“Ulric.” Stella ignored the young man. “You summoned me today, sent the guards away and brought Faris here. I want to help, but you can’t hold anything back.”
If anyone but Stella had asked him…
“The attack on the outpost. There was a dispute about ownership. I tried to explain to the Tensans that they needed to wait before going in and taking over from the Yetai.
They wouldn’t listen because they believed the others weren’t going to leave. Gravlin sent in a squad to take over. The Yetai people fought back, but they weren’t ready. The Tensans killed them all. Hundreds.”
Stella listened, watching him intently. When he ran out of words, he knew she understood. Her gaze shifted to Faris. “What is your part in this?”
“I told you, Ulric wasn’t at fault.”
“That wasn’t the question I asked you.”
“I…” Faris’ voice cracked.
As much as Ulric wanted to speak for Faris, he knew he would do the young man no favors if he did.
Stella, beautiful and perceptive as ever, pressed a kiss to Ulric’s forehead.
“I don’t agree with your methods, but I understand now.” Another kiss, followed by a sharp slap to his bare ass. “If you ever lie to me like that again, I don’t care if the reasons are justified or not, I will leave. Have I made myself clear?”
“Yes, Mistress.”
“Tonight has been very trying for you, has it not?”
Ulric nodded, fighting through the press of his emotions. She wasn’t leaving him, there was still hope. “Yes, Mistress.”
“I will defer your punishment for now. But I won’t forget. I never forget.”
“No, Mistress.”
Stella stepped around and raced to catch Faris before he could turn and leave again.
Ulric’s stomach flipped when she reached out, caught his arm and slapped Faris’ cheek.
“You bastard! You claim to be his friend, you begged him to leave with you and you don’t have the balls to stay and face this with him? I should string you up, gag you and leave you to suffer alone.”
“Stella, he doesn’t understand.” Ulric shuffled closer, but couldn’t look Faris in the eyes. “It is my fault for bringing him here. If you must punish anyone it should be me.”
“Enough of this, Ulric. I’ve had enough. Go to my room, kneel by my bed and wait for me.”
Frustration tore at his insides, but he knew he could push no further. “Yes, Mistress.”
Without another look, he left them alone.
Stella watched as Ulric retreated, leaving her with a man she didn’t know how to control.
She couldn’t offer Faris a release when he refused to acknowledge his own desires.
The Tensan people were known for their repressed sexuality, but she’d always been able to work through it with the few she’d come into contact. Show them there was more to their lives than worship and duty.
Still, there was something about Faris. Like her earlier dealings with Ulric, she knew if the open wounds of his soul weren’t dealt with properly, it would destroy him completely. He needed to learn how to move beyond the pain. If he’d only let her help.
“I don’t understand what he sees in you,” she said, soft enough she was sure her voice wouldn’t carry into the other room. “I don’t think you appreciate how much that man just risked for you.”
Faris turned his head in the direction of where Ulric retreated, but did not break eye contact with her. “I’m sure if you disposed of him there are others who could take your place.”
Stella snorted and barely resisted the urge to slap him again. “You think so? And how does a man like Ulric going about announcing an opening for this type of position?
Do you think he could let just anyone bind him to a piece of furniture or hang him from the ceiling? Do you know how many would take advantage of his vulnerability, his need to relinquish control and have the burden of command lifted from his shoulders, if only for a short time? Do you know how often my life is threatened by those who hope to use me against him? And that is without my role being known to others.”
The rage she’d repressed since the start of the evening finally reared up and tore through her carefully built defenses. She shoved at his shoulders hard, sending Faris stumbling back. “Do you know how privileged you are to be invited here today? To be given such an opportunity not only to see, but to participate in his rituals? In the year that I have been with him, there has been no one else. For well over a year before me, there was no one.”
It made her heart ache to know how alone Ulric had been before he’d saved her and brought her into his life. He’d recognized who she was almost immediately. But unlike the others she’d come into contact over the years, Ulric treated her with respect and affection. He’d taken time to woo her, not just as his Domme, but as a woman. She’d always loved him for seeing her as a complete person, not just a role.