“I could dye my hair. I could wear colored contacts.”
“Hal, I don’t trust you! I have to threaten to hurt you to get you to listen. I don’t like that. It makes me feel like a rabid dog sometimes. And it’s not just me! You don’t listen to anyone! You’ve got this ‘I know better than anyone’ and go plowing through the world without any regard to personal danger. That’s fine for you but I want kids and I want to know that my children are safe with their father — because shit happens and he might be all that they have growing up.”
Without warning, she was crying. She realized it as the tears started to burn in her eyes.
Why am I crying? She wiped at her tears. Was it because she thought of her father? Or was it because, for the first time, she realized what her mother was going through, losing the love of her life so young? Her parents been married right out of high school. Her mother was only a three years older than Jane was now when her father died. Twelve short years was all they got.
“Jane! I’m sorry! I can change! I can be more careful!”
“Hal, I’m in love with Taggart.”
“You don’t even call the man by his first name.”
She smacked him. “It doesn’t matter what the fuck I call him. I might start calling him Beloved. Would that make you happier?”
“You don’t need to be nasty.”
“Jesus Christ, Hal, when are you going to stop thinking just about yourself? I have been tiptoeing around for days, not telling anyone I’m getting married, because I’ve been so afraid that you will throw a hissy fit, meltdown, and go back to drinking. I didn’t tell my cousins even though they dropped everything in their life for three days to help me! I haven’t told my brothers, for god sake! I’m getting married and your self-centered candy ass is the reason I’m getting no joy out of sharing that news with my family. Instead of doing that stupid girly-girl shit of calling Brandy and asking her to be my maid-of-honor, I’ve been worried that my best friend is going to drink himself to death before the actual day.”
“I’m your best friend?”
“Yes! Of course you are! Who the hell do I spend all my time with?”
“You never told me!”
“Because the minute I told you, you would be trying to make it more than just friends. You’re my best friend. I care very much about you. I would kill to protect you. But I don’t think of you in any way that includes kissing and sex and all that shit.”
“You could grow to love me.”
“No! Don’t do that! I feel how I feel. This is like food. I like broccoli and peas and spinach. I hate lima beans and Brussel sprouts. I love corn on the cob. Peas will never make me love them like I love corn on the cob. It just never, never is going to happen.”
“That doesn’t make sense.”
“It makes as much sense as you not being happy that I care very, very, much for you but I don’t love you. Not in the way you want me to. And I warn you, that if you screw up my wedding, I will not protect you from my mother. Trust me. She will hurt you very much if you do anything to mess it up. She has been planning this since she came home from her sonogram knowing she was going to have a girl. Nearly twenty-seven years! She will skin you alive if you fuck with it. That means on my wedding day you will be sober, properly dressed, and not draw any attention to yourself in any way. Anything else and you will be on her shit list. She will make you suffer. If you’re still alive.”
He fidgeted in that guilty way he had when she busted him before he could pull off something stupid or embarrassing. Jane pointed at him.
“I don’t know what is going through that mealy little brain of yours, but if you plan anything to mess this up on purpose, I swear to God, I will tell Dmitri to find someone else to be your producer.”
He looked properly horrified. “No. No, no. Not that! You’ve never threatened that before.”
“I love Taggart. But more importantly, this is the first thing in six years that I’ve asked you to do for me. Six years of all about Hal. I have cleaned up your vomit. I have kept you safe. I have made you the biggest name in Pittsburgh. I have made you part of my family. You betray me after all that — it’s over.”
He rocked back as if she hit him. “I–I—I’m going for a walk.”
Which meant he was heading for the nearest bar.
“No.” She pointed sternly at the abandoned stools in front of the microphones in the next room. “You’re going to sit down and record voice overs. You have your fans to think of.”
Hal hunched his shoulders, rocking in place. “I’m not that shallow. I can’t keep going just for some ego stroking by adoring fans.”
“Hal, right now your fans need you like air. No one is telling the whole truth. Not the elves. Not the EIA. Not the mayor’s office. Lives are on the line. Pittsburgh needs you to keep your shit together and tell the truth. Tell it loudly. Tell it bravely. Hal’s Heroes starts with you being a hero so that others know it can be done.”
“I’m only brave with you.”
“I’m going to be right behind you. Always.”
He stared at the floor, panting as if he was running.
She felt so bad for him but there was nothing she could do, not even break up with Taggart. Hal wanted something from her that she couldn’t give. If she could feel that way about him, something would have clicked in the last six years.
“Promise?” He whispered. “You’re not going to Earth with him?”
“I promise.”
He shuffled back to the live room. He dragged one of the stools closer to the microphone. He sniffed several times as if he was crying. “I’m Hal Rogers.” His voice cracked with emotions. He took a deep breath and tried again. “I’m Hal Rogers, and this is Monsters in Our Midst.”
“A dark time has fallen on us. It is hard not to feel lost and alone. To feel that we are just one against a growing number of monsters.” He took a deep breath. “Take heart. Do not be afraid. Since the time that our ancestors climbed down out of the trees, picked up sticks, and stood against the many predators lurking in the shadows, our greatest strength has been our numbers. It is not coincidence that the most feared hunters are the ones that gather into in groups. The pride of lions. The pack of wolves.”
He faltered and glanced up at control booth. He couldn’t see Jane in the dark room beyond the glass, but he knew that she was there. “You are not alone. All about you are people who will stand with you. Your friends. Your family — both of blood and of your own making. Your neighbors. We are mighty.”
He stood up, growing more sure of himself. “When I say ‘we’ I don’t just mean those of you that sink your roots deep in Pittsburgh. Those of you whose family were here before the Startup, who called Pittsburgh home for generations, who came to Pittsburgh when steel furnaces roared through the night. ‘We’ are all the ‘people’ within the sound of my voice. The Pitt students in Oakland. The scientists gathered on Observatory Hill. The EIA personnel scattered through the city. The elves who live at the enclaves. ‘We’ are everyone who is willing to reach out their hand, clasp tight to their fellow beings, and stand strong against the monsters.”
He clenched his fist and raised it. “We are one people! Indivisible! That is our strength. We must not let out foes divide us. We are Pittsburgh. We are strong. We are not alone.”
The End
I worked at the Carnegie Museum in the 1990s prior to the birth of my son. It was a wonderful but odd place to work. I was down in the basement, near the Big Bone Room and the Little Bone Room (I kid you not.) All the administrative offices were tucked all over the place, so directions were often given as “go past the globe, turn at the Dodo, take the door under the golden eagle.” Yes, the “secret door” to the library was there when I worked at the museum.